"In a speech yesterday, Barack Obama
said he's distantly related to the famous 19th century gunslinger Wild Bill
Hickok. After hearing this, John McCain said, "Big deal, I went to high
school with him." --Conan O'Brien
"There's excitement in the air over the Olympics...also lead,
arsenic, benzene." --David Letterman
"In other Olympic news, China is
upset because somebody leaked a video of the rehearsal for the Olympics Opening
Ceremony on the Internet. I don't want to give away too much, but it ends with
the lighting of a torch." --Conan O'Brien
