wait a second, what was that? (The Crutch)

     

"Last night, I officially announced my candidacy for the presidency of the United States -- a bombshell certain to make the front page of all the papers. Where is my presidential announcement? Look, I'm running as a favorite son from South Carolina. No one else in this campaign ... wait a second, what was that? 

[on screen: Colbert flipping through the newspaper]. Oh my God! 'Edwards Plays His Roots Card In Bid To Win South Carolina'? What the f---, y'all! Ridgeland, South Carolina: At a dinner recently held by county Democrats, John Edwards was introduced by the emcee as the 'native son of South Carolina.' 

Listen here, John ... who cares if you're the native son, I'm the favorite son. And if I'm not mistaken, sir, aren't you the same guy who not two weeks ago accused Barack Obama for stealing parts of your platform on the issues of health care, poverty and nuclear proliferation? Well, reminding South Carolinians that I'm from their state is my entire platform. I've got nothing else, so back off!" --Stephen Colbert

    

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