I'm just going to keep saying this (hot, very hot, and me in a mesh tank top)

The Pentagon has authorized testing a heat ray crowd control weapon to break up dangerous mobs. There are three settings: hot, very hot, and me in a mesh tank top. —Greg Gutfeld 

Stevie Wonder is suing his ex-girlfriend for living on his property rent free for nearly 40 years. The good news is he finally realized he doesn't have a ghost. —Greg Gutfeld 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

This is a bad look (That’s just Mitch McConnell saying hello)

President Trump attended the World Cup final on Sunday, where he was booed by the crowd as he walked onto the field to take part in the medal ceremony and trophy presentation. At this point, I’m guessing Trump’s staff tries to make him feel better by telling him he’s just being followed around by ghosts: ‘Mr. President, remember, no one’s booing you. That’s just Mitch McConnell saying hello.’ — Seth Meyers

“Trump’s sports curse strikes again. He goes to the N.B.A. finals, the Knicks lose. He intervenes to get a red card overturned, U.S.A. loses. He says you can’t bet against Messi, Argentina loses. He owned a U.S.F.L. team, and the whole [expletive] league folded. He’s a sports reaper.” — Seth Meyers

“A video has gained attention online that appears to show FIFA President Gianni Infantino attempting to move President Trump away from the Spanish national soccer team so they could lift the World Cup trophy without him. In Trump’s defense, that thing’s solid gold. That’s like trying to move Gollum away from the Ring. The head of the most corrupt organization on Earth was, like, ‘This is a bad look.’” — Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

he just thought Congress was haunted (who wouldn't dare interrupt their game of croquet)

"Back when George Bush was president, Democrats in Congress, to be fair, would occasionally go 'Boooo!' But President Bush never took it personally, he just thought Congress was haunted." --Craig Ferguson

"So far rich people have been very quiet about the possibility of getting taxes raised on them, but that doesn't mean they won't get mad about it, it just means they don't know about it. Because it takes a while for bad news to reach a rich person. First their accountant has to tell the butler, who has to tell the servant, who wouldn't dare interrupt their game of croquet." –Craig Ferguson

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Hey buddy, do I come to your state and knock the wiener out of your governor's mistress? (he just thought Congress was haunted)

"Back when George Bush was president, Democrats in Congress, to be fair, would occasionally go 'Boooo!' But President Bush never took it personally, he just thought Congress was haunted." --Craig Ferguson

"When Joe Wilson yelled 'you lie' at President Obama, I don't think he handled it very well. The president should go out and hone his material in some comedy clubs and deal with hecklers. Obama should have said, 'Hey buddy, do I come to your state and knock the wiener out of your governor's mistress?'" --Craig Ferguson

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

But sadly, she was no match for my car (Irish pilot)

A one hundred two year old woman from New York who survived the 1918 Spanish flu has now beat coronavirus twice. But sadly, she was no match for my car. —Michael Che

Aviation officials report that two Irish pilots claim they saw an unidentified flying object. But keep in mind, Irish pilot is also the highest reading on a breathalyzer. --Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Staring at a ghost only you can see (More Sleep Plan)

I cannot make sense of President Biden’s debate performance. What was he trying to say? Were his notes just loaded up with Mad Libs? Who was the debate coach who said ‘and remember, nothing projects strength like having your mouth a little bit open while you stare at a ghost only you can see.’ —Seth Meyers  

But regardless of one’s personal feelings on Biden’s candidacy, it’s worth noting that this conversation is even happening at all. Biden had a bad debate performance, and Democrats are having a vigorous back and forth over whether he should stay in. Donald Trump fomented a violent coup attempt and was convicted of 34 felony counts, and not only did every Republican immediately fall in line, they showed up at the courthouse in matching suits like they were flight attendants for Maga Airlines. —Seth Meyers      

President Biden’s interview with ABC News, in which he assured: “As long as I give it my all and I do the goodest job I can do, that’s what this is about.” That’s not what this is about! Giving it your all is what salsa lessons at a retirement home is all about. This isn’t about how you feel; this is about how voters feel. If you truly believe American democracy is at stake – and it is – then you have to act like it. You can’t claim to be the last bulwark against fascism, and also have a ‘more sleep’ plan. —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I'm not a ghost (Let's Try Peace)

Vice President Mike Pence held a rally today in Ohio where adults kept trying to give him candy. Pence kept trying to tell them, "I'm not a ghost." --Seth Meyers

Donald Trump said in an interview this weekend that Iraq is the “Harvard of terrorism.” And he’s got a point: The only reason George W. Bush got into Iraq is because his dad went there. –Seth Meyers

In response to his drop to second in the polls, Donald Trump said today that he will run until the very end and does not mind running from behind. Trump says he knows what it’s like to be the underdog, because he wears one on his head. –Seth Meyers

Fox News’ Geraldo Rivera said this weekend that he has additional embarrassing tapes of Donald Trump. And if Geraldo thinks they’re embarrassing, you know it’s bad. –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

USA finished dead last among 46 countries in media trust (Let’s get in Waymo accidents)

October 2021

One of Hugh Hefner’s former girlfriends revealed that the Playboy Mansion is haunted. She knew it was haunted because if you turn on a black light you can see ectoplasm everywhere. —Colin Jost

DC Comics announced that the new Superman will be bisexual. They also announced that the Riddler has always been down for whatever. —Colin Jost

The Rolling Stones announced that they will no longer play their 1971 song ‘Brown Sugar’ which is about having sex with a slave. Something I wish I had realized before I chose it at Karaoke. —Colin Jost

Officials with Waymo, a self-driving taxi service, say that after a year the robot taxis still have trouble with left turns and puddles. Which explains Waymo’s slogan, “Let’s get in Waymo accidents.” —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Hey Girl, I Hear You Like Revolutions (I'm not a ghost)

Vice President Mike Pence held a rally today in Ohio where adults kept trying to give him candy. Pence kept trying to tell them, "I'm not a ghost." --Seth Meyers

According to economists, consumers spent $9 Billion on Halloween merchandise this year. To be fair, the bulk of that $9 Billion was spent by Elton John. The same study says that Americans are spending more and more each year on pet costumes. Or as pets call that: Humiliation. But it was all worth it when you saw that big fat Bulldog dressed up like a baked potato. Totally worth it. --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Unless you count that trucker who played hard to get (that's just your grandmother)

"In a recent interview, President Bush's daughter, Jenna, said she believes there's a ghost in the White House. Then President Bush told her, 'No sweetheart, that's just your grandmother.'" --Conan O'Brien

"According to an exclusive interview, Senator Larry Craig said that because of his sex scandal, he's now in 'the toughest fight of his life.' Then Craig added, 'Unless you count that trucker who played hard to get.'" --Conan O'Brien

    

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans