Is boobs spelled with two ‘o’s or three? (I’m not a very good DJ)

Donald Trump is causing all kinds of trouble this week. In fact, Israel just had to apologize to Mexico, after their prime minister tweeted support for Trump’s border wall. So not only has Trump failed to solve the Middle East conflict, somehow he’s dragged Mexico in the middle of it. –Jimmy Fallon

One of the DJs at Donald Trump’s inauguration celebration used to be Hugh Hefner’s personal DJ. When asked how he became a DJ for both Hugh Hefner and Donald Trump, he said, “I’m not a very good DJ.” –Jimmy Fallon

Donald Trump apparently wrote a draft of his inauguration speech himself. A little worried though, because while he was writing, he kept yelling to his secretary, “Is boobs spelled with two ‘o’s or three?” –Jimmy Fallon

After receiving less than 1 percent support in the Iowa caucuses, Martin O'Malley suspended his presidential campaign. In a related story, the New York Jets have announced that they've decided to not play in the Super Bowl this weekend. –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

USA finished dead last among 46 countries in media trust (Let’s get in Waymo accidents)

October 2021

One of Hugh Hefner’s former girlfriends revealed that the Playboy Mansion is haunted. She knew it was haunted because if you turn on a black light you can see ectoplasm everywhere. —Colin Jost

DC Comics announced that the new Superman will be bisexual. They also announced that the Riddler has always been down for whatever. —Colin Jost

The Rolling Stones announced that they will no longer play their 1971 song ‘Brown Sugar’ which is about having sex with a slave. Something I wish I had realized before I chose it at Karaoke. —Colin Jost

Officials with Waymo, a self-driving taxi service, say that after a year the robot taxis still have trouble with left turns and puddles. Which explains Waymo’s slogan, “Let’s get in Waymo accidents.” —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I've got some stuff that can help you with that (So much for that celibate lifestyle!)

February 2013

"Pope Benedict said he was stepping down at age 85 because he could no longer handle the job physically. To which Lance Armstrong said, 'I've got some stuff that can help you with that.'" –Jay Leno

"Reportedly, President Obama's speech will focus on jobs. Hopefully he'll explain to us why anybody in Congress still has one." –Jay Leno

"The Pope said that at age 85 he cannot physically go on. Meanwhile, Hugh Hefner is going to be 87 and he just married a 26-year-old. So much for that celibate lifestyle!" –Jay Leno 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

a sugar-coated Satan sandwich (Cool! I made this)

August 2011

"We finally have a deal on the debt ceiling. But get this – Democratic Congressman Emanuel Cleaver is referring to the plan as a 'sugar-coated Satan sandwich.' Or as Americans put it, 'Sugar-coated? Yum – I'll take six, please!'' –Jimmy Fallon

"McDonald's is planning to open a restaurant every day in China for the next four years. It's nice — When kids get their Happy Meal toy, they're like, 'Cool! I made this.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"An ex-Louisiana governor just married a woman 51 years younger. Or as Hugh Hefner put it, 'Does she have a daughter?'" –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

mostly false/false/pants on fire false (Moron Fake News Breasts)

The Senate Intel Committee, by the way, is busy right now looking into the fake news stories the Russians made up to help Trump win the election. The other irony is no one, no breathing human on planet Earth, produces more fake news than Donald Trump. This is Donald Trump’s rating on PolitiFact, the nonpartisan fact-checking organization: According to them only 5 percent of the things that come out of his mouth are true. More than two-thirds, 69 percent, are either mostly false, false, or pants on fire false. –Jimmy Kimmel

This is another chart, from The Washington Post. Over the last 232 days, Donald Trump has made 1,145 claims that are false or misleading. And that’s just the stuff he says in public. Donald Trump is a tornado of fake news. He’s the Michael Jordan, Elvis Presley, and Great Wall of China of fake news combined. Donald Trump criticizing fake news is like Hugh Hefner criticizing fake breasts. –Jimmy Kimmel

      

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Hugh Hefner RIP (1926-2017)

It’s a great way for angry white men to meet other angry white men (why not both?)

And finally he tried, “Dwight D. Eisenhower said, ‘Any man who wants to be president is either an egomaniac or crazy,’ and to that I say, why not both?” –Jimmy Fallon

One of the DJs at Donald Trump’s inauguration celebration used to be Hugh Hefner’s personal DJ. When asked how he became a DJ for both Hugh Hefner and Donald Trump, he said, “I’m not a very good DJ.” –Jimmy Fallon

A Southern California man has created a dating site exclusively for Trump supporters. It’s a great way for angry white men to meet other angry white men. –Conan O’Brien