NHL: Arizona Coyotes vs Florida Panthers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Sometimes I also start at the bottom of my to-do list (tomorrow's bread)

“President Trump said in a recent post on Truth Social that he supports a Senate bill that would end daylight-saving time and added, ‘Who wouldn’t want more SUN in the afternoon than in the morning?’ Sure, OK, daylight-saving time. Sometimes I also start at the bottom of my to-do list.” — Michael Kosta

“Finally a crisis that Trump takes seriously — being late for dinner.” — Michael Kosta 

As Trump’s approval ratings get lower, something curious happens: somehow his engine fills up with more and more self-esteem. —Jimmy Kimmel 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Hey buddy, do I come to your state and knock the wiener out of your governor's mistress? (he just thought Congress was haunted)

"Back when George Bush was president, Democrats in Congress, to be fair, would occasionally go 'Boooo!' But President Bush never took it personally, he just thought Congress was haunted." --Craig Ferguson

"When Joe Wilson yelled 'you lie' at President Obama, I don't think he handled it very well. The president should go out and hone his material in some comedy clubs and deal with hecklers. Obama should have said, 'Hey buddy, do I come to your state and knock the wiener out of your governor's mistress?'" --Craig Ferguson

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

President Bush is already stockpiling excuses (It flew right over my vacation home in Pyongyang)

 

"Delegates were captivated by Sarah Palin's speech; at one point while she was speaking, the room got so quiet, you could hear Larry Craig's toilet flush." --David Letterman

"June 1st is the start of the hurricane season. President Bush is already stockpiling excuses." --David Letterman

"The North Koreans are always making trouble. They launched a rocket there over the weekend. It was scary when they fired that rocket. It flew right over my vacation home in Pyongyang." –David Letterman

"Speaking of President Bush, right now he's in Cancun, Mexico. He's down there looking for tequila of mass destruction." --David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He canceled his weekend at Hockey Camp (mulleton-mullet-on-mullet action)

"In his latest audio tape message, Osama bin Laden recommends a book all Americans should read. You can tell bin Laden is hungry for power because now he thinks he's Oprah." –Conan O'Brien

"It is true, though, the former governor of New Jersey has reportedly taken part in several threesomes. That's what everyone's saying. Or, as a threesome is known in New Jersey, mulleton-mullet-on-mullet action." --Conan O'Brien

"Barack Obama, of course, in the news. This weekend, Senator Barack Obama tried bowling. And his bowling score was a very low 37 -- terrible score, 37, yeah. Afterwards, Obama told reporters, 'That's it, no more white guy sports for me. That's it.' He canceled his weekend at Hockey Camp." --Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

But the former president had a very good reason (he ran out of ranch)

February 2022

“Now, it violates the Presidential Records Act to tear up official documents, but the former president had a very good reason: He was afraid of going to jail.” —Stephen Colbert

“According to White House advisers, Trump once ate a sensitive document. He would have eaten more sensitive documents, but he ran out of ranch.” —Stephen Colbert

“Tuesday 1 February, marked the first day of Black History Month – for Americans, this is a time to celebrate the black experience and black contributions to our country. And for corporate brands, it’s a time to suggest that Langston Hughes would’ve enjoyed the new Wendy’s Double Baconator.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/12/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and_10.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”