And it goes faster if you put them in a Ziploc bag (Today is a testicle search day)

"We're abandoning the color coded warning system for terror alerts and are going back to the old system of tagging people with beards. No, they're going to announce when you get to the airport what kind of search procedures they're using. [Clip of airport with announcer saying, "Today is a testicle search day."] And it goes faster if you put them in a ziploc bag." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Someone hacked the Facebook account of French President Nicolas Sarkozy. Or not really hacked. Someone asked for his password and he surrendered it." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Facebook says they're very concerned about this. And they are committed to making sure the only people who will be able to take and sell your personal information without your consent is them." –Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”