How is that not the main story here? (Man, you really like Tide)

I was at a restaurant and I ordered a chicken sandwich but I don't

think the waitress understood me because she said how would

you like your eggs. So I tried to answer her anyhow. I said

incubated and then raised and then beheaded and then plucked

and then cut up and then put onto a grill and they put onto a bun.

Damn, it’s gonna take awhile. I don’t have that kind of time.

Scrambled. —Mitch Hedberg

I want to be a race car passenger. Just a guy who bugs the driver. “Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we have to keep going in circles? Man, you really like Tide.” --Mitch Hedberg

I wanted to buy a candle holder but the store didn't have one so I got a cake. --Mitch Hedberg

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”