How long does it take to conduct a sobriety test? (That's how the Sopranos ended)

So what was in the DNC Autopsy report? Well, it pretty much blamed Biden's allies for not supporting Kamala Harris enough before she took over and complains there wasn't enough research done to help her. Research? How long does it take to conduct a sobriety test? —Tom Shillue

There was nothing in the autopsy report about the Biden debate with Trump or Kamala not winning a primary. In other words, it's an autopsy without listing the cause of death. That's not an autopsy. That's how the Sopranos ended. —Tom Shillue

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The Sopranos are a lot like the Bush administration (there is a right way and a wrong way to polish sterling silver)

 

"The Sopranos are a lot like the Bush administration. There are wiretaps, people going to jail, and the second in command accidentally shoots his best friend." --Jay Leno

"A dead body was discovered this week on the grounds of a country estate owned by Queen Elizabeth. The queen said today she hopes this serves as a reminder to anybody on her staff that there is a right way and a wrong way to polish sterling silver." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

That’s OK, we’re used to hiding our identity (Sopranos On Dragons)

This morning, Twitter went down for almost an hour. As a result, President Trump was forced to open a window and start yelling at people on the street. --Conan O’Brien

There are only a few more episodes left of Game of Thrones before the show ends. And HBO is trying to find ways of keeping viewers happy when the show leaves the air. I have a suggestion for HBO. Sopranos On Dragons. --Conan O’Brien

“Yeah, everyone has to wear a mask. The players on the New York Jets said, ‘That’s OK, we’re used to hiding our identity.’” — Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Hey, she's a prostitute, I'm Charlie Sheen, it was bound to happen (How long until the new season of The Sopranos?)

"Earlier today at the White House, President Bush met with Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi. There was an awkward moment when Bush asked 'How long until the new season of The Sopranos?'" --Conan O'Brien

"And then, of course, more news on the Spitzer scandal. It was reported today that the prostitute in the Eliot Spitzer scandal also had sex with Charlie Sheen. When asked about it, Sheen said, 'Hey, she's a prostitute, I'm Charlie Sheen, it was bound to happen.'" --Conan O'Brien

 

"Senator Hillary Clinton hired a former adviser to President Clinton. Apparently she's taking his advice because today she hit on three waitresses." --Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The sequel is never as good as the original (giving New Jersey a bad name)

"President Obama's new message to the American people is 'things could be a lot worse.' We've gone from 'change you can believe in' to 'things could be a lot worse.' The sequel is never as good as the original." –Jay Leno

"BP announced that as a result of their own internal investigation, it has cleared itself of all blame in the Gulf oil spill. In a related story, Congressman Charlie Rangel has announced that he will be investigating himself and will find himself completely innocent." –Jay Leno

"An American named Bob Dudley is BP's new CEO. Nice to see an American taking a job from a foreigner for once." –Jay Leno

"New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie said this week that 'Jersey Shore' is giving New Jersey a bad name. As opposed to the good, clean, inspirational shows about New Jersey, like 'The Sopranos.'" –Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Nation of Sheep, Ruled by Wolves, Owned by Pigs (Things were going great I guess, until Ralphie got whacked)

Mayor Michael Bloomberg celebrated Columbus Day by having lunch with the cast of The Sopranos. Things were going great I guess, until Ralphie got whacked. --David Letterman 10/15/2002

Congratulations to Saddam Hussein. He was reelected to another seven year term and received 99% of the vote. I also heard that he has had 53 of his relatives executed. Fifty-three! Is it just me, or is it getting harder and harder to dislike this guy. --David Letterman 10/15/2002

Out-of-towners you could not have come on a better week. It's it's tax-free week here in New York City, were you aware that? Anything under a hundred and ten dollars, no tax. So by gosh tourists, why not treat yourself to one of our lovely hookers. --David Letterman 8/26/2003

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”  

We can't afford your operation (people felt the same way about the finale of Sex in the City)

Yesterday over 20 members of Iraq's Governing Council made history by signing a temporary constitution. President Bush says he's thrilled because although the Constitution isn't perfect it does ban gay marriage. --Conan O’Brien 3/9/2004

A lot of people who watched the first episode of The Sopranos were unhappy because they didn't feel enough people were killed. Coincidentally people felt the same way about the finale of Sex in the City. --Conan O’Brien 3/9/2004

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

al Qaeda is claiming credit for the vague ending of The Sopranos (giving him the lead role in E.T.)

"Director Steven Spielberg has announced that he will endorse  Hillary Clinton for president. He says he likes Hillary because she combines the warmth of the raptors in 'Jurassic Park' with the charisma of the mashed potato tower in 'Close Encounters.' You'd think he'd endorse Dennis Kucinich after giving him the lead role in 'E.T.'" --Jimmy Kimmel

"This just in: al Qaeda is claiming credit for the vague ending of 'The Sopranos.'" --David Letterman

A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-

collected-poems-1985-2015.html

A Conversation With French Canada (getting ahead of the story)

"Yesterday, big announcement. Senator Clinton picked the winning [campaign] song during this clever parody of 'The Sopranos' finale. Clever, of course, because it compares the Clintons to a notorious crime family. Parody? Or is that what they call in the business, 'getting ahead of the story?'" --Jon Stewart

"The winning song is 'You and I' by Celine Dion. Hillary Clinton, why did you even ask us? Maybe you should change your campaign slogan to 'A Conversation With French Canada'?" --Jon Stewart

A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-

collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Larry King sent a huge check to President Woodrow Wilson (a chilling window into his personal hell)

"Hillary Clinton has a new campaign ad that  spoofs 'The Sopranos' finale. In the ad, she orders carrot sticks at a diner, then switches the jukebox to a Celine Dion song. Hillary's calling the ad a lot of fun, and Bill is calling it a chilling window into his personal hell." --Conan O'Brien

"A new report that just came out suggests that television journalists are biased because 90% of the money they donate to politicians goes to Democrats. Apparently it's true, because earlier today, Larry King sent a huge check to President Woodrow Wilson." --Conan O'Brien

A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-

collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Johnny Sack, which, coincidentally, was also Clinton's Secret Service codename (All My Exes Live In Texas)

"Have you seen that campaign commercial for Hillary Clinton? It's a  spoof on 'The Sopranos' finale. Bill Clinton appears in the ad too, along with the actor who played 'Johnny Sack.' Johnny Sack, which, coincidentally, was also Clinton's Secret Service codename." --Jay Leno

"Hillary Clinton has chosen the Celine Dion song 'You and I' as her campaign theme. I understand Bill was leaning towards 'My Humps.'" --Jay Leno

"For his campaign,  John Edwards has chosen a theme song from 'Hair.' And Giuliani chose 'All My Exes Live In Texas.'" --Jay Leno

A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-

collected-poems-1985-2015.html

It’s like a five-second rule for your soul (Tony Soprano vs Donald Trump)

Before he left the president, who’s been notoriously stingy with on-camera interviews lately, sat down with the 700-year-old host of “The 700 Club,” Pat Robertson. This is a religious television show. And Donald Trump is a very religious guy. [clip of Robertson responding “yeah,” “that’s right” several times as Trump speaks] So they got along just great. –Jimmy Kimmel

Of course Trump got asked about the biggest story in France — his son’s collusion with Russia. [clip of Trump] “He took a meeting with a Russian lawyer, not a government lawyer, but a Russian lawyer. It was a short meeting. It was a meeting that went very, very quickly, very fast.” Welcome to Trump’s America, where morality is measured by speed. Because it was over quickly, it wasn’t wrong! It’s like a five-second rule for your soul. –Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535 #Bernie2020

That’s not hunting, that's an episode of The Sopranos (40-ounce Colt .45)

"In an interview on Fox News, Dick Cheney took full responsibility for shooting a fellow hunter. Then surprisingly, he broke down and admitted to killing two drifters in Flagstaff, Arizona in 1989." --Jay Leno

"Cheney also admitted that he'd been drinking. He said he had one beer. Okay, it was a 40-ounce Colt .45, but just one." --Jay Leno

"They were in a car, they drive along, they get out of the car, he shoots his friend in the face, then they get back in the car and they go hide for 18 hours. That’s not hunting, that's an episode of The Sopranos." --Jay Leno