sandwich mascots/rat paintings/Perfect

A new poll shows that the best known Supreme Court justice is now Brett Kavanaugh. Sort of the same way that the best known sandwich mascot is Jared Fogle. --Colin Jost, SNL

An art student in Norway has trained her pet rat to make tiny paintings with his feet. Critics call the paintings bad, even by rat standards. --Colin Jost, SNL

Senator Mitch McConnell denied a claim that he referred to Trump’s Ukraine call as “Perfect,” because the only time Mitch McConnell has ever said something was perfect is when he saw a child drop her ice cream cone and lose her balloon at the same time. --Colin Jost, SNL

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

We’re trying to prevent the next Bieber

China's new law allowing couples to have two children instead of just one went into effect in the new year. So if you thought you felt an earthquake, don't worry — it was just a billion people being told they were allowed to have unprotected sex at the exact same moment. –Jimmy Fallon

It came late, but El Niño finally arrived here in Los Angeles. In case you didn’t know, El Niño is Spanish for "Little Boy." So apparently the reason El Niño was so late is because it wanted to make sure Jared Fogle was in prison. –Conan O’Brien

The parents of a 6-year-old Canadian boy are angry because he’s been put on the no-fly list. TSA agents said, “We’re trying to prevent the next Bieber.” –Conan O’Brien