She’s my favorite Teenage Witch (the best episode of Maury Povich EVER)

The Russia investigation is heating up. I saw that if Trump’s lawyers don’t agree to a sit-down interview with Robert Mueller, he’ll issue a subpoena. Trump was like, “No problem, I love Subpoena. She’s my favorite Teenage Witch.” --Jimmy Fallon

"Today Mitt Romney visited a firehouse here in New York City. Of course, he was disappointed when he learned that the firehouse is not where you get to fire people." –Jimmy Fallon

"Osama bin Laden was killed by Navy Seals yesterday. They did DNA testing to make sure it was Bin Laden. Or as I call it, the best episode of Maury Povich EVER." –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Or as I call it, best episode of Maury Povich EVER (Cool, at least they think we do something)

"Osama bin Laden was killed by Navy Seals yesterday. They did DNA testing to make sure it was Bin Laden. Or as I call it, best episode of Maury Povich EVER." –Jimmy Fallon

"A new survey found that 77 percent of Americans think politicians do serious harm to the country. Politicians are like, 'Cool, at least they think we do something.'" –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He was just binge watching Game of Thrones (Until chapter three, when Maury Povich shows up)

Yesterday, Donald Trump repeated his false assertion that America’s murder rate is the highest it’s been in 47 years. Then someone pointed out to Trump that he was just binge watching “Game of Thrones.” –Conan O’Brien

J.K. Rowling will publish another Harry Potter book this summer and in this one, Harry is a father. Until chapter three, when Maury Povich shows up. –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Until chapter three, when Maury Povich shows up (Trump’s worst nightmare)

Amy Klobachar calls herself Trump’s worst nightmare. Actually Trump’s worst nightmare is a Mexican guy forcing him to eat a salad. --Conan O’Brien

J.K. Rowling will publish another Harry Potter book this summer and in this one, Harry is a father. Until chapter three, when Maury Povich shows up. –Conan O’Brien

"Jeb Bush admitted that he smoked a notable amount of pot in school. He said, 'You would too if your parents had named you 'Jeb.'" –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Economists are saying a single letter hasn't caused this many problems since the letter 'Dubya.' (Or as I call it, best episode of Maury Povich EVER)

"After bin Laden was killed, the FBI updated its most wanted list. So on behalf of everyone here, I just would like to congratulate Lindsay Lohan on her recent promotion." –Jimmy Fallon

"Osama bin Laden was killed by Navy Seals yesterday. They did DNA testing to make sure it was Bin Laden. Or as I call it, best episode of Maury Povich EVER." –Jimmy Fallon

"There's speculation that the 1,000-point drop in the Dow may have been sparked by a typo, where someone entered 'billion' instead of 'million' on a trading order. Economists are saying a single letter hasn't caused this many problems since the letter 'Dubya.'" –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Officials say it's so big, it can do the work of two babies (You billionaires doing alright?)

Nintendo is releasing a video game that lets you simulate taking care of a baby. When they heard this, gamers said, “Hey, call me when you have one that simulates MAKING one.” –Conan O’Brien

"Tom Brady says he wants to give the truck he was given as the Super Bowl MVP to the guy who won the Super Bowl for the Patriots. So Brady's giving his truck to Seahawks coach Pete Carroll." –Conan O'Brien

J.K. Rowling will publish another Harry Potter book this summer and in this one, Harry is a father. Until chapter three, when Maury Povich shows up. –Conan O’Brien

"A mother in China gave birth to a 15-pound baby. Chinese officials say it's so big, it can do the work of two babies." –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I would like to congratulate Lindsay Lohan on her recent promotion (Or as I call it, the best episode of Maury Povich EVER)

"After bin Laden was killed, the FBI updated its most wanted list. So on behalf of everyone here, I just would like to congratulate Lindsay Lohan on her recent promotion." –Jimmy Fallon

"Today Mitt Romney visited a firehouse here in New York City. Of course, he was disappointed when he learned that the firehouse is not where you get to fire people." –Jimmy Fallon

"Osama bin Laden was killed by Navy Seals yesterday. They did DNA testing to make sure it was Bin Laden. Or as I call it, the best episode of Maury Povich EVER." –Jimmy Fallon

It looks like Derek Jeter and Jeb Bush will be buying the Miami Marlins. That’s right, one guy who could’ve been president — and Jeb Bush. –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

And by everybody I mean rich people (the best episode of Maury Povich EVER)

"President Obama announced that Osama bin Laden has been killed in Pakistan. That's right, bin Laden is dead — just like the Republicans' chances in 2012." –Jimmy Fallon 

"Oddly enough, bin Laden's last words were, 'I hope you at least use this to interrupt 'Celebrity Apprentice.'' –Jimmy Fallon 

"After bin Laden was killed, the FBI updated its most wanted list. So on behalf of everyone here, I just would like to congratulate Lindsay Lohan on her recent promotion." –Jimmy Fallon

"Osama bin Laden was killed by Navy Seals yesterday. They did DNA testing to make sure it was Bin Laden. Or as I call it, best episode of Maury Povich EVER." –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

JOKES: I'd rather be invading Baghdad (Wait, I’m not dead)

During the “In Memoriam” segment they accidentally showed the picture of a woman who is still alive, an Australian producer named Jan Chapman. Which in a way is a much bigger story than “La La Land.” Sure, it’s bad to think you have won Best Picture when you didn’t. But how about being told you’re dead when you’re not? –James Corden

This would send me into a deep existential funk. I would be like, “Wait, I’m not dead. But am I truly living?” –James Corden

The Oscars went very well. We were chugging along. Then all of a sudden out of nowhere, it turned into one of those Maury Povich paternity test shows. –Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Hillary Clinton is going to be cleared of all email charges by Judge Judy (Uber driver)

Today Republican candidate Donald Trump decided to clear the air and reveal the results of a recent physical, on “The Dr. Oz Show.” Which is an interesting move. Like for Donald Trump, you know, sure, Dr. Oz is a respected doctor — you know, in the same way that Dr. Dre is a respected doctor. –James Corden

If you think that a presidential candidate appearing on “Dr. Oz” is ridiculous, later Donald stopped by the Maury Povich show and found out that he is not the father. –James Corden

Tomorrow, Hillary Clinton is going to be cleared of all email charges by Judge Judy. –James Corden

TMZ reported that the rapper Nelly is in debt to the IRS for about $2 million. I guess now when Nelly sings, “If you want to go and take a ride with me,” it’s only because he’s working as an Uber driver. –James Corden

It could be worse!

Today is Ash Wednesday — that’s the first day of Lent when most Catholics give something up. It seems like Catholics in the U.S. decided to give up Marco Rubio. –Conan O’Brien

J.K. Rowling will publish another Harry Potter book this summer and in this one, Harry is a father. Until chapter three, when Maury Povich shows up. –Conan O’Brien

Bernie Sanders is the first Jewish person ever to win a presidential primary. Which is why he celebrated his victory by telling the crowd, "It could be worse!" –Conan O’Brien

expecto patronum

Jeb Bush’s mother, former First Lady Barbara Bush, joined him on the campaign trail yesterday for the first time. Though she did emphasize that she still hasn’t decided who she’s voting for. –Seth Meyers

A YouTube user named The Food Surgeon has released a new video showing how to replace the peanut butter in a Reese’s cup with Oreo filling. The way it works is, you lose your job and then it just kind of happens organically. –Seth Meyers

According to a new poll of Harry Potter fans, the most popular spell from the book series is the protective spell "expecto patronum." Incidentally, expecto patronum is also the spell Maury Povich uses to determine whether or not you’re the father. –Seth Meyers

A Tennessee man with the word "Psycho" tattooed on his forehead was arrested this week for stabbing someone in the stomach. Of course, if you have a tattoo on your forehead, no matter what it says, it says "Psycho." –Seth Meyers

So there'll be almost enough seats for all the candidates

"After four dreary months, out of the blue we got a message that David Letterman wanted to come on as a guest. Dave was the biggest thing on TV. He didn't go on other people's shows. It was like The Beatles asking Maury Povich if they could stop by and sing a couple of tunes." –Conan O'Brien



"We are now 11 weeks away from the first Republican presidential debate. The debate will be held in a 300-seat theater, so there'll be almost enough seats for all the candidates." –Seth Meyers

I just would like to congratulate Lindsay Lohan on her recent promotion

"Oddly enough, bin Laden's last words were, 'I hope you at least use this to interrupt 'Celebrity Apprentice.'' –Jimmy Fallon 



"After bin Laden was killed, the FBI updated its most wanted list. So on behalf of everyone here, I just would like to congratulate Lindsay Lohan on her recent promotion." –Jimmy Fallon 



"Osama bin Laden was killed by Navy Seals yesterday. They did DNA testing to make sure it was Bin Laden. Or as I call it, best episode of Maury Povich EVER." –Jimmy Fallon



John Hulse painting