Maybe share a heartwarming story about how you two met (I said he was good with numbers)

Senator Lindsey Graham’s memorial services began in Washington on Tuesday, with President Trump appearing as one of the speakers. Come on, Donny! You guys spent so much time together. Maybe share a heartwarming story about how you two met. Maybe just say something nice about your old friend? Instead, President Trump told anecdotes about his quarrel with Graham in 2016 and shared his personal cellphone number with the millions of people that happened to be watching that particular day as I made a speech. OK, interesting choice. I might have chosen a moment that highlights Lindsey’s character, but I guess the time he got 10,000 calls from guys named ‘Mike Rotch’ and ‘Hugh Jass’ is also equally good. — Jordan Klepper

I can’t believe I have to say this to Donald Trump, but can you just lie to us? It’s a memorial; you can paint a rosier picture. I didn’t go to my Uncle Lou’s funeral and tell everyone he was the Zodiac Killer — I said he was good with numbers, you know? — Jordan Klepper

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

NHL: Arizona Coyotes vs Buffalo Sabres

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Or as I call it, best episode of Maury Povich EVER (Cool, at least they think we do something)

"Osama bin Laden was killed by Navy Seals yesterday. They did DNA testing to make sure it was Bin Laden. Or as I call it, best episode of Maury Povich EVER." –Jimmy Fallon

"A new survey found that 77 percent of Americans think politicians do serious harm to the country. Politicians are like, 'Cool, at least they think we do something.'" –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

a five-day marijuana festival that lasts 10 days (what 99.9 percent effective means)

On this day in 1960, the FDA approved the world’s first commercially produced birth control pill. And on this day in 1961, the first couple learned what 99.9 percent effective means. –Seth Meyers

A retreat called “Cannabliss” will take place next month in California. It’s a five-day marijuana festival that lasts 10 days. –Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It’s the same feeling you get when your grandma renews her driver’s license (essence of capitalism)

March 2022

“This week has also seen Hillary Clinton reveal that she has Covid-19, which is surprising for someone who’s been alone in the woods for six whole years. While she had a positive test, her husband, Bill Clinton, remains negative. That’s how deep we are in the upside-down world, Hillary caught a virus and Bill didn’t.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“When Biden was a kid, Air Force One was a balloon.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“President Biden is traveling to Brussels this week. The president is heading there to figure out a new round of sanctions against Russia. But I am nervous over him flying. It’s the same feeling you get when your grandma renews her driver’s license.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“More information also came out about what happened to Mike Pence during the Capital riot in January. The former vice-president was reportedly taken to a loading dock beneath the building so he could be put into hiding. It was tough to convince Pence to go along with the plan because any discussion of going through the back door makes him uncomfortable.” —Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I didn’t not, not, not not, not get the shot. Not. (Then again, they are called the Packers)

November 2021

“The Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers tested positive for Covid this week, which means he’ll sit out Sunday’s game against the Kansas City Chiefs or as the next five State Farm commercials.” —Stephen Colbert

“He’ll be watching it from ‘Mahome.’” — Jimmy Kimmel, referencing Chiefs quarterback Patrick Mahomes

“I find it egregious that Rodgers had vaguely referred to himself as ‘immunized,’ leading some to believe he’d been vaccinated. Instead, according to a report, he received homeopathic treatment. I’m no expert, but I’m guessing it’s a lot easier to just play football with a shot in your arm than a jade egg stuck where the sun don’t shine. Then again, they are called the Packers.” —Stephen Colbert

“That’s not the only confusing statement that Rodgers has made about his vaccine status. For example, in one press conference he said, ‘I’d like to think of myself as vaccine-adjacent.’ In another press conference he said, ‘In a spiritual sense, are any of us truly vaccinated?’ And finally, he cleared things up by saying, ‘I didn’t not, not, not not, not get the shot. Not.’” —Jimmy Fallon

“That’s really vague. He better not talk that way in the huddle.” —Stephen Colbert

“Honestly, the only thing worse than not getting vaccinated when you’re in close contact with other people is letting them think you’re vaccinated when you’re not. It’s basically the Covid equivalent of ‘The condom fell off.’” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”