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Wednesday, June 10, 2020

But he does, our unfounding father (a populist revolution)


“Just to recap, the theory here is that a 75-year-old man was using his cellphone to scan police communication equipment in order to black it out. I feel like anyone who has tried to Zoom with their grandparents knows there’s no possible way that’s true. But our president — it takes a special kind of monster to see a peaceful 75-year-old man shoved to the ground by police so hard he bleeds from the ears and take the side of the concrete. But he does, our unfounding father.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Let me get this straight: This 75-year-old man is an anti-fascist, which you somehow consider suspicious. He was somehow able to fall harder than he was pushed, fake a fractured skull, and spontaneously bleed from his ears, all the while operating a secret scanning device in order to black out all police communication equipment. Man, those Jitterbug phones are getting really sophisticated. [imitating old man] ‘This big button is 911, and that one with the smiley face calls my grandson. Oh, and the red one down here with the hammer and sickle starts a populist revolution.’” —Stephen Colbert

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

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