he had help making his uniform from a bunch of singing mice and birds (I'm coming for you, ISIS!)

I've never gotten a decent explanation as to why Popeye the Sailor Man lost his eye. —Norm Macdonald

I don't know if this counts as an NCAA Cinderella story but one of the Marquette players said he had help making his uniform from a bunch of singing mice and birds. —Norm Macdonald

I read a story, a 17-year-old kid who stole a plane crashed it and survived. Why don't we make the whole plane out of that kid? —Norm Macdonald

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

The American Revolution was a No Kings rally (It’s like a demented version of Cinderella)

“All the top people from Google, Apple, Amazon, you name it, lined up to eat beef stroganoff and kiss his ass, just as our founding fathers intended — to build a ballroom. It’s like a demented version of ‘Cinderella’ where the pumpkin is in charge.” — Jimmy Kimmel

“You know, on Saturday there is going to be another big protest march in every state in America and in many cities throughout the world. We call it the No Kings rally. The demonstrations will be peaceful, unless you’re watching Fox News, in which case they will be violent, vicious antifa riots led by savages who ‘hate America.’ So, just to be clear, peacefully protesting a wannabe dictator means you hate America. Attacking the Capitol to overturn an election? Patriotic walking tour.” — Jimmy Kimmel

“There is nothing more American than a political protest. The American Revolution was a No Kings rally.” — Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I hate to tell ya — if they’re storming anything, it’s the Hall of Presidents (the hard part)

May 2022

“President Biden criticized Republicans at a fund-raiser last night for their recent attacks on Disney and said, quote, ‘They’re going to storm Cinderella’s castle before this is over.’ Oh, buddy, I hate to tell ya — if they’re storming anything, it’s the Hall of Presidents.” —Seth Meyers

“President Biden told a small gathering at a Democratic fund-raiser last night that it’s going to be ‘hard’ to maintain the majority in both houses of Congress, especially since they don’t have it in the first place.” —Seth Meyers

“President Biden today called Ferdinand Marcos Jr. to congratulate him on winning the Philippine presidential election. Said Biden, ‘Remember, winning is the easy part — the hard part is convincing everybody that you actually won.’” —Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

the cartoon mouse that sews Cinderella’s dress (That is the man deciding who ligs and who dibes)

“Trump had problems during his speech. He flubbed words like ‘tolerated’ and ‘accomplishments.’ Trump’s mouth was missing more targets than those Iranian missiles.” —Trevor Noah

“You got to hand it to Trump — he’s the only person who makes typos out loud.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Trump had problems during his speech. He flubbed words like ‘tolerated’ and ‘accomplishments.’ Rest easy, America. That is the man deciding who ligs and who dibes.” —Stephen Colbert

“Today, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle announced that they’ll no longer be senior members of the royal family and they might move to Canada. I give them a lot of credit — tons of celebrities always threaten to move to Canada; they’re actually doing it.” —Jimmy Fallon

“There are senior levels of royal? I thought it just went, like, king, queen, prince, princess, jack of spades, boy wizard, Dukes of Hazzard and then the cartoon mouse that sews Cinderella’s dress.” —Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Yeah, the barber came up with the idea after realizing that he's really bad at cutting hair (There is a difference)

Well, there are already more than 10 Democrats running for president. And I read that some of them have started trying to dig up dirt on each other. There's a lot of rumors going around about the candidates. For example, there's a rumor going around about Elizabeth Warren that says she told the cashier at IKEA that she was 1% Swedish to get a discount on meatballs. Well, here's John Delaney. What they're saying about him is that he's one of the mice from "Cinderella" that turned into a human. Here's Kirsten Gillibrand. What they're saying about her is that she's the top-selling real-estate agent in the tri-state area five years running. --Jimmy Fallon

And get this -- In honor of next's week's summit, a barber in Vietnam is giving free haircuts in the style of Trump and Kim Jong-un. Yeah, the barber came up with the idea after realizing that he's really bad at cutting hair. --Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Princess failed and pumpkin becomes president (Border Wall Designs)

If you pick up a copy of Hillary’s new book, you'll see that a lot of notable people wrote little blurbs in the back cover. I'll show you what I mean. For example, Vladimir Putin wrote, "Was like fairytale Cinderella book. Princess failed and pumpkin becomes president." –Jimmy Fallon

Next, Barack Obama wrote, "I'd say I got to hand it to you, but the last time I tried to hand you something, you lost it to Donald Trump." –Jimmy Fallon

And finally, President Trump wrote, "I loved it. Especially the end, I really did not see that coming. Enjoy." –Jimmy Fallon

      

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #FeeltheBern #repealreplacerepublicans

The Surge is working! He looks less grim this year (4,000 killed, and counting)

Ivanka Trump is getting an office in the West Wing despite previously stating she would not take a formal role in her father’s administration. The administration has said Ivanka is going to act as her father’s “eyes and ears,” which basically means she’s going to be walking around the White House saying, “I’m telling Dad!” –James Corden

I’m glad Ivanka is going to be her father’s “eyes and ears.” Now all we need is for her to take over his mouth, and his tweeting thumb. –James Corden

Disney World has agreed to pay $3.8 million to workers who were making less than minimum wage and had to pay for their own costumes. That works out to around $238 per person, which is almost enough to buy a bottle of water at Disney World. –James Corden

I guess at Disney World, if Cinderella loses her glass slipper, a prince doesn’t bring it to her. They just take it out of her next paycheck. –James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html