In her defense... (kiss cam)

Zohran Mamdani wants prisons to feature gourmet farm to table dining. Worse, he's installing a kiss cam in the prison showers. —Greg Gutfeld 

A Florida evangelist was kicked off an Alaska Airlines flight for holding a sermon and prayer on the plane before it took off. In her defense, she had seen the woman pilot. —Greg Gutfeld 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

That’s like if a capitalist made a hospital everybody could afford (Did you cheat on your wife with Trump?)

New York’s primary elections, which saw Democratic socialists win two House positions and several state seats this week. While every election has its winners and losers, there was one guy who came out on top last night, who wasn’t even on the ballot, and it was Mayor Zohran Mamdani. All three candidates backed by the mayor won their races, leading one commentator to call him a “kingmaker”. A socialist making kings? That’s crazy! That’s like if a capitalist made a hospital everybody could afford. —Josh Johnson 

President Trump has thrown his weight behind the Texas senate nominee Ken Paxton, who has been involved in several political scandals over the past decade, with accusations of bribery, fraud and abuse of office. Last year, his wife filed for divorce on “biblical grounds” after reports that Paxton had been unfaithful. Biblical grounds? I’ve never heard that before. Imagine showing up to your divorce with a Bible, going, ‘He committed all the sins.’ Paxton has gushed about his “love” for Trump, saying “every time I’m around him, it’s infectious.” That’s a weird way to describe your relationship. Did you cheat on your wife with Trump? —Josh Johnson 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

it felt more like a fire hose (an Indian treasure)

Legal experts are saying that this week's Supreme Court ruling has taken a wrecking ball to the Voting Rights Act of 1965. But if you ask Black people, it felt more like a fire hose. —Michael Che

This week, King Charles visited the U.S. and met Zohran Mamdani. And I'm surprised he didn't take Mamdani back to England with him because he is an Indian treasure. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Hey, where's the little umbrella? (I'm just going to keep saying this)

Nearly 15,000 nurses have gone on strike at major New York City hospitals. Until it's over Mayor Mamdani is asking New Yorkers to only shoot each other in the leg. But one New York hospital has accused a union of protecting nurses who came to work drunk. They knew they were drunk when one patient handed a nurse his urine sample and she asked, "Hey, where's the little umbrella?” —Greg Gutfeld 

Barbie has released the first ever autistic Barbie joining other Barbies that have conditions like blindness or diabetes. Teaching little girls an important lesson. It's okay to have a disability as long as you're not fat. It's important. —Greg Gutfeld 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

the right to remain silent (they figured out a way to beat the cops at softball)

New Mexico police have launched an effort to recruit more lady cops. But sadly, they spend most of the training explaining the right to remain silent. —Greg Gutfeld

Mayor Mamdani appointed New York City's first lesbian ever lesbian fire chief. Finally, they figured out a way to beat the cops at softball. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

What Epstein file did they release now? (What a united nation looks like)

Secretary of Transportation Sean Duffy and Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. held a press event on Monday where they promoted their idea to develop fitness stations at American airports. You think people want to work out in transit at the airport? Everyone at the airport is already exhausted from traveling, all right? We can’t even walk to the gate. They had to invent floors that walk for us. — Ronny Chieng

“It was so cold in New York City this morning walking to work, I saw a Wall Street stockbroker spooning with Zohran Mamdani.” — Jimmy Fallon

“It was the kind of weather today that makes you wish you were someplace tropical, like on a boat in the Caribbean, but not near Venezuela.” — Stephen Colbert

“Yeah, at first when Trump heard it dipped into the teens, he was like, ‘What Epstein file did they release now?’” — Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

How do I trade him in for Eric? (What does he have that I don’t have?)

“I’ve never seen Trump this smitten before. This is a reminder: He doesn’t work with a single cool person. He is surrounded by so many charmless goons that the first time he got to hang out with someone who had a little charisma, he swooned like he was on a date with the varsity quarterback.” — Seth Meyers

“The whole meeting Trump was, like, ‘How do I trade him in for Eric?’” — Jimmy Kimmel

“When Mamdani was asked during a meeting in the Oval Office if he still believes President Trump is a fascist, Trump told Mamdani, ‘You could just say yes, it’s easier.’ Wait, so he can call you a fascist, but when I do it, you try to get my show canceled? What — what does he have that I don’t have? Youth? Charisma? Oh, both of those.” — Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

they did not expect them to be the Katy Perry kind (the molly Trump took right before the meeting kicked in)

President Trump and Zohran Mamdani, the democratic socialist who was elected mayor of New York this month, have had harsh words for each other, but they surprised almost everyone by hitting it off in a White House meeting on Friday. Most people were expecting fireworks, but they did not expect them to be the Katy Perry kind. — Jimmy Kimmel

“Seriously, though, like, what the [expletive] is happening? Either Zohran charmed Trump into embracing democratic socialism and undercutting every scare tactic the right has weaponized against him for the past six months, or the molly Trump took right before the meeting kicked in.” — Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

What do you think he's gonna do, turn ISIS into THEY-SIS? (nannies from Old Mexico)

Andrew Cuomo spent the last day before the election campaigning around the city in a white Ford Bronco, which is what O.J. Simpson used to get away from police. But at least O.J. was ahead in the race for a while. —Michael Che

Conservative critics have been calling Zohran Mamdani a "far-left radical," as well as a “jihadist." But he can't be far-left and a jihadist. I mean, what do you think he's gonna do, turn ISIS into THEY-SIS? —Michael Che

New Mexico has become the first state in the country to offer its residents free child care, which will be provided by nannies from Old Mexico. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Not to brag... (So, no, Andrew Cuomo’s not taking the loss well)

On Tuesday, Zohran Mamdani was elected mayor of New York City. He was elected mayor despite his opponent, Andrew Cuomo, receiving endorsements from Donald Trump and Eric Adams, which is like trying to bring a girl home by saying, "Not to brag, but I have hepatitis B and C.” —Colin Jost

A video has gone viral of a man in Mexico coming up behind President Claudia Sheinbaum and trying to kiss and grope her. So, no, Andrew Cuomo’s not taking the loss well. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

In this moment of political darkness (he nut-punched New York’s fattest cats)

“I don’t know about you guys, but tonight my heart is full of something I have not felt in almost a year, and that is … good? Democrats swept races across the country, offering a sharp rebuke of the Trump administration.

Today Democrats are walking around with a spring in their step like a divorced mom in her 40s whose new haircut just got her carded at two different bars.

Zohran Mamdani, the 34-year-old state assemblyman didn’t just defeat Andrew Cuomo and Curtis Sliwa, he nut-punched New York’s fattest cats. The billionaires had the knives out for Zohran, pumping massive amounts of cash into anti-Mamdani groups. I’m talking big-roll high-rollers including the cosmetics heir Ronald Lauder, son of Estée, who donated $2.6m to stop him; hedge fund investor Bill Ackman, who spent $1.75m on anti-Mamdani campaigns; and Airbnb co-founder Joe Gebbia, who spent $2m.

So it’s a bad day for billionaires. Or as it’s also known, still a pretty good day! They’re still billionaires.

Speaking to supporters after clinching the victory, Mamdani offered a different political vision than the federal government in Washington. “In this moment of political darkness, New York will be the light.”

And as always, the port authority will be the smell. —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I know a few rest homes with plenty of vacancy (tramp stamps)

You could tell Andrew Cuomo's depressed about his humiliating loss to Mamdani. You know, maybe it's time for him to retire. I know a few rest homes with plenty of vacancy. —Greg Gutfeld 

The government shutdown has entered its 36th day, breaking the record as the longest ever. Things have gotten so bad, people are trying to buy food with their tramp stamps. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Honka-honka! Shhhh! (by any means necessary)

New York mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani ran an ad during an episode of "Golden Bachelor” in which he said, "New York, will you accept this rose?” Not to be outdone, Andrew Cuomo ran an ad in which he said, "Honka-honka! Shhhh!” —Michael Che

It was announced that Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban are separating after 19 years of marriage. I am saddened and shocked that a guy named Keith Urban isn't black. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Although Bill Clinton has argued for less teeth (Prostitution Czar)

Scientists have discovered a stem cell treatment that could create new dental growth. Although Bill Clinton has argued for less teeth. —Greg Gutfeld    

New York mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani said he wants to provide job opportunities for prostitutes. In fact, he has already chosen Bill Clinton as his prostitution Czar. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Why limit it to Congress? (proper channels)

F1, the new Brad Pitt movie about Formula 1 racing opens in theaters this weekend. Now I don't want to say that Brad is getting a little old but he spends 90% of the movie driving around with his left turn signal on. He offered to do his own driving as long as he could pretend he was running over Angelina Jolie. —Dana Perino 

In New York City's primary for mayor yesterday ex-governor Andrew Cuomo was defeated by socialist Zohran Mamdani. Cuomo was so stunned he tried to grope himself. —Dana Perino

After AOC said she wanted to impeach Trump he responded by calling her one of the dumbest people in Congress, which isn't fair. Why limit it to Congress? —Dana Perino

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”