The other 30% are either in a coma or in his cabinet. Or both. (The remaining 32% want to kick him right in the D)

President Trump’s favorability rating has been as low as 39%, the worst numbers since polling began. I gotta believe that’s hard to hear. Nothing Trump has done so far is particularly popular in any of these polls so far, but the thing that’s really dragging him down is his handling of the economy. An ABC poll found seven in 10 Americans thought the economy was “not so good” or “poor”. The other 30% are either in a coma or in his cabinet. Or both. —Stephen Colbert

Another poll showed that only 35% of Americans approve of Elon Musk. Perhaps related, Tesla’s income fell over 70% in the first quarter of the year. You cannot buy that kind of marketing. So Musk announced that starting in May, he will step back from the government and return to working with the company. Yes, he wants to be there personally at Tesla to offer all his most valued employees his sperm. —Stephen Colbert

In 100 days, how would the American people grade Donald Trump? According to a new NPR poll, 23% would give Trump an A grade, while 45% would give him the failing grade of F. The remaining 32% want to kick him right in the D. —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Wilt Chamberlain had sex with more people than that (You're doing a heck of a job, brownie)

November 2013

"This week we found out how many people have signed up for Obamacare on the federal website. Out of 15 million uninsured, they signed up 26,794. To give you an idea, Wilt Chamberlain had sex with more people than that." –Bill Maher

"This was kind of tough week for liberals. First the 60 Minutes thing, they were bullsh*tting, and then Obama had to eat crow on Obamacare. I just want you liberals to know, you still have NPR, Whole Foods, and gay sex, so everything is not lost." –Bill Maher

"How f***ing hard is it to get a website to work? People keep trying to sign up; four hours later they're on the seventh level of Candy Crush." –Bill Maher on the Obamacare website

"That is the difference between Democrats and Republicans. When Republicans shut down the government, it's on purpose." –Bill Maher

"For most Americans, Obamacare is a lot of like sex. You do it online, it's incredibly frustrating and the idea of anyone getting it makes Republicans insane." –Bill Maher

"Michele Bachmann claims that she has lost her healthcare plan. She said, 'I have a husband with very significant health issues.' She said, 'At some point we're going to have to figure it out.' Girlfriend, there's a lot about your husband you're going to have to figure out. Healthcare is the last of your worries." –Bill Maher

"The New York Times is calling this Obama's Katrina. Which of course is great for George Bush. He loves this. He called up Obama today and said, 'You're doing a heck of a job, brownie.'" –Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Okay, it's been four hours, time to get you involved (Top 18 Corporate Tax Dodgers)

June 2011

"The question is – why can't Congressman Anthony Weiner say with certitude if the crotch in question is his or not? Because he’s got so many crotch shots lying around, maybe one got away? Maybe he's been taking a picture of his crotch every hour for a month, to create one of those cool YouTube time lapse videos?" –NPR's "Wait Wait…Don't Tell Me!"

"Congressman Weiner said the photo leak was a prank, he’s a victim, the picture could be taken out of context? In what possible context would you take this picture? Maybe he meant to send it to his Doctor, with the message, "Okay, it's been four hours, time to get you involved." –NPR's "Wait Wait…Don't Tell Me!”

"Sarah Palin’s family road trip has a title; it’s called the One Nation Tour, and she’s brought along her husband and her kids and all the typical summer road trip stuff, like sun tan lotion, stuff for s’mores, and Greta Van Susteren." –NPR's "Wait Wait…Don't Tell Me!"

"Sarah Palin’s cross country road trip is not a political event, she says, but just a summer vacation with her family, just like the ones you have. Except my summer vacations generally don't have a title." –NPR's "Wait Wait…Don't Tell Me!"

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

your temporarily uncut brake cables/and threw them in Jeffrey Epstein’s prison cell/No Things Considered

“During an interview on NPR’s ‘All Things Considered’ last Friday, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo refused to answer questions about Ukraine. So if you have all this stuff you don’t want to be asked about, maybe don’t go on a show called ‘All Things Considered.’ They mean ‘all things.’ If you don’t like questions, I think Fox News has a show called ‘No Things Considered.’” —Seth Meyers

“Guys, more revelations are coming out from John Bolton’s new book. Apparently, he was afraid that Trump was granting favors to the leaders of Turkey and China. I’m not saying Trump wants this book to disappear, but he just bought all the copies and threw them in Jeffrey Epstein’s prison cell.” —Jimmy Fallon

“Today we learned that the White House issued a formal threat to Bolton to keep him from publishing his book. Wow, so rare for Trump to issue a formal threat. [Imitating Trump] ‘Dearest esteemed colleague, it is my sincerest recommendation that you keep one eye open while you sleep. Best regards to your family and your temporarily uncut brake cables, Donald J. Trump.’” —Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

The electoral college is a disaster for democracy (a socialist anti-business environment that's worse than being dead)

"They say that Japan's rigorous building codes and regulations saved thousands of lives. Or as Republicans here saw it, it fostered a socialist anti-business environment that's worse than being dead." –Bill Maher

"It turns out that the Republican budget that they submitted for next year slashes funding for the agency that issues tsunami warnings and organizes responses to the tsunami. In their defense, Republicans say that tsunamis are just a theory, they are not a real threat like ACORN, the Black Panthers, NPR, and math teachers in Wisconsin." –Bill Maher

"Gov. Scott Walker is the new conservative hero. He could get the nomination for the Republican Party in 2012 because he has that special quality that every member of the Republican base can relate to — he's a huge a**hole." –Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

it fostered a socialist anti-business environment that's worse than being dead (he's a huge a**hole)

"They say that Japan's rigorous building codes and regulations saved thousands of lives. Or as Republicans here saw it, it fostered a socialist anti-business environment that's worse than being dead." –Bill Maher

"It turns out that the Republican budget that they submitted for next year slashes funding for the agency that issues tsunami warnings and organizes responses to the tsunami. In their defense, Republicans say that tsunamis are just a theory, they are not a real threat like ACORN, the Black Panthers, NPR, and math teachers in Wisconsin." –Bill Maher

"Gov. Scott Walker is the new conservative hero. He could get the nomination for the Republican Party in 2012 because he has that special quality that every member of the Republican base can relate to — he's a huge a**hole." –Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

So in case you were wondering how much Republicans hate NPR.. (they're siding with a black guy named Juan)

"Fox News, on Thursday, hired news analyst Juan Williams just one day after National Public Radio fired him for making disparaging comments about Muslims. Marking the first time someone has been fired and hired for the same comment." –Seth Meyers

"Following Williams' firing, several leading Republicans including Newt Gingrich, Mike Huckabee, and Sarah Palin, accused NPR of censorship and called for Congress to cut off federal funding for NPR. So in case you were wondering how much Republicans hate NPR, they're siding with a black guy named Juan." –Seth Meyers

"During a debate on Meet the Press, Colorado Republican Senate candidate Ken Buck said that he believes being gay is a choice. Interesting position, Ken Buck. Did your name choose to be gay?" –Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

the noise a pirate makes when he robs you and feeds you to a shark (I'm truly sorry you're married to Clarence Thomas)

"There is a big difference between a disappointing friend and a deadly enemy. Of course the Democrats are disappointing. That's what makes them Democrats. If they were any more frustrating they'd be your relatives. But in this country they are all that stands between you and darkest night. You know why their symbol is the letter 'D'? Because it's a grade that means good enough, but just barely. You know why the Republican symbol is 'R'? Because it's the noise a pirate makes when he robs you and feeds you to a shark." –Bill Maher

"Clarence Thomas's wife this week on Saturday morning calls up Anita Hill 19 years later to ask her to apologize. Drunk dial much? And she did the right thing. She apologized. She said I'm truly sorry you're married to Clarence Thomas." –Bill Maher

"Juan Williams was fired by NPR. He told Bill O'Reilly that people in Muslim garb getting on airplanes make him nervous. And I was appalled: this is America, if we can't let a black man with a Latino name sh*t on Muslims to entertain a white guy, what do we have?"–Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Hillary immediately started yelling at it (Time)

In Florida true this is true a 96 year old woman is running for mayor. When asked who she was running against the woman said, “Time.” --Conan O’Brien 12/23/2004

Yesterday at a White House ceremony the official portrait of former President Clinton was unveiled. Apparently Clinton’s portrait is so realistic that Hillary immediately started yelling at it. --Conan O’Brien 6/15/2004

Yesterday Rush Limbaugh announced he's getting divorced for the third time. The couple decided to split after Rush came home early one day and caught her listening to NPR. --Conan O’Brien 6/15/2004

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Can you speak a little louder please? (Isn't his annual autopsy coming up soon?)

"Happy Birthday to Vice President Dick Cheney. He turned 66 yesterday. Isn't his annual autopsy coming up soon?" --Jay Leno

"We are at that weird stage in the Bush administration, where half the White House staff is on C-SPAN and the other half is on Court TV." --Jay Leno

"This weekend, the President of the United States went on National Public Radio to explain that he knows [Vice President Dick] Cheney. Cheney is not delusional, just optimistic [on screen: Bush saying Cheney reflects a 'half-glass-full' mentality]. How twisted is your administration when this guy is your Pollyanna?" --Jon Stewart

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

catchy stage names for professional wrestlers (catchy stage names for professional wrestlers)

Now of course President Trump spoke about the backlash. He gave a very calm and measured interview to NPR. I’m kidding! He fired off a string of angry tweets. –James Corden

This morning Trump attacked his critics on Twitter and in one tweet referred to Sen. Chuck Schumer as Cryin’ Chuck Schumer. Now you remember he does this, there was also Lyin’ Ted Cruz and Crooked Hillary. I’m starting to think the only job Trump is really qualified for is coming up with catchy stage names for professional wrestlers. –James Corden

The whole Trump administration is facing questions about this firing. After reporters were hounding Press Secretary Sean Spicer for comments, he did what any professional White House press secretary would do: He hid in the bushes. –James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

it's now Utah's state motto

In a recent interview, Hillary Clinton said that she would investigate UFOs, and said that aliens may have already visited Earth. When he heard that, Trump said, “Forget the wall. We need a dome! Just build a huge dome. A huge classy beautiful dome! We'll make the aliens pay for the dome.” –Jimmy Fallon

In an NPR interview last week, Jeb Bush revealed the ingredients for his guacamole recipe, but wouldn't give away the specifics of how to prepare it. So now I guess we HAVE to elect Jeb Bush. –Jimmy Fallon

Some people are upset about a billboard in Utah that advertises a dating site called “Where-White-People-Meet-dot-com.” Even more controversial — it's now Utah's state motto. –Jimmy Fallon

It fosters a socialist anti-business environment that's worse than being dead

"They say that Japan's rigorous building codes and regulations saved thousands of lives. Or as Republican here saw it, it fostered a socialist anti-business environment that's worse than being dead." –Bill Maher



"It turns out that the Republican budget that they submitted for next year slashes funding for the agency that issues tsunami warnings and organizes responses to the tsunami. In their defense, Republicans say that tsunamis are just a theory, they are not a real threat like ACORN, the Black Panthers, NPR, and math teachers in Wisconsin." –Bill Maher



"Gov. Scott Walker is the new conservative hero. He could get the nomination for the Republican Party in 2012 because he has that special quality that every member of the Republican base can relate to — he's a huge a**hole." –Bill Maher