“During an interview on NPR’s ‘All Things Considered’ last Friday, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo refused to answer questions about Ukraine. So if you have all this stuff you don’t want to be asked about, maybe don’t go on a show called ‘All Things Considered.’ They mean ‘all things.’ If you don’t like questions, I think Fox News has a show called ‘No Things Considered.’” —Seth Meyers
“Guys, more revelations are coming out from John Bolton’s new book. Apparently, he was afraid that Trump was granting favors to the leaders of Turkey and China. I’m not saying Trump wants this book to disappear, but he just bought all the copies and threw them in Jeffrey Epstein’s prison cell.” —Jimmy Fallon
“Today we learned that the White House issued a formal threat to Bolton to keep him from publishing his book. Wow, so rare for Trump to issue a formal threat. [Imitating Trump] ‘Dearest esteemed colleague, it is my sincerest recommendation that you keep one eye open while you sleep. Best regards to your family and your temporarily uncut brake cables, Donald J. Trump.’” —Stephen Colbert
“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic.
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”
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