Nick Bosa of the San Francisco 49ers was fined by the NFL for pointing to his MAGA hat during a broadcast. The fine will go to promoting LGBTQ sports, also known as soccer. —Greg Gutfeld
Donald Trump has named former ICE director Tom Homan as his Border Czar. And to prove that he’s not messing around, Homan asked Melania for her paperwork. —Greg Gutfeld
Kamala Harris had to appear with Liz Cheney just so she wouldn’t be the least popular person on stage. —Greg Gutfeld
In case you missed it, the Kansas City Chiefs beat the San Francisco 49ers, 25-22, in overtime. Finally, something good happened for Taylor Swift! —Stephen Colbert
It was a low-scoring first half – at one point, the Chiefs seemed close to scoring their first touchdown, only to fumble the ball. Travis Kelce was caught on camera yelling at his coach Andy Reid, which I lip-read as ‘you’re embarrassing me in front of my girlfriend, jeez louise!’ —Stephen Colbert
The NFL avoided many shots of Swift during the game, but at one point caught her chugging her beer. Have fun, Taylor, but please make sure you have a designated driver for your private jet. The NFL tweeted a picture of the moment with the word “icon”. If that’s what makes you an icon, then my Aunt Rita is an icon-aholic. —Stephen Colbert
“There are so many questions about this Super Bowl: can the 49ers contain Patrick Mahomes? Can the Chiefs stop Christian McCaffrey? And the one that most people care about: can Taylor Swift make it there because she has a concert in Japan the day before?! Between the Super Bowl and Swift, he added, ratings are going to be higher than Snoop Dogg at a Willie Nelson concert.” —Jimmy Fallon
Supporters of former President Donald Trump are spreading conspiracy theories about the Super Bowl, Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs and his girlfriend, Taylor Swift. Even this clown who ran for president, Vivek Ramaswamy, added his nut voice to the chorus of cuckoos. He pointed to the former G.O.P. candidate’s suggestion that Kelce and Swift were “an artificially culturally propped-up couple” and that the Super Bowl would be rigged, all to get President Biden re-elected. And it’s not just on Twitter — this nonsense is now everywhere your angry grandpa goes, I’m calling the conspiracy theorists, the “not-too-Swifties.” —Jimmy Kimmel
There is speculation over whether Taylor Swift would attend the Super Bowl now that her beau Travis Kelce will be playing for the Kansas City Chiefs, who take on the San Francisco 49ers in Las Vegas in two weeks. The whole thing has been great for the NFL and for dads who struggle to bond with their teenage daughters. Swift mania has fully taken over the NFL, he noted, as American Airlines announced it would rename the flight from Kansas City to Las Vegas for the game to AA1989, in honor of Swift’s album and also the last year they checked the bolts on that plane. — Stephen Colbert
It’s still unclear whether the pop star will be able to attend the game, as she is scheduled to perform a concert in Tokyo the day before. It’s just too stressful! Why can’t she just do a concert closer, like Paris or Venice or New York? They’re all there, in Vegas. Of course, I hope Taylor makes it, because I really want to watch the Apple Music Super Bowl Half-time Show starring Shaky Footage of Taylor Swift Cheering in a Skybox, featuring Usher. — Stephen Colbert
In other news, a New York jury ordered Donald Trump to pay a whopping $83.3m to E Jean Carroll for defamation. The former columnist promised to ‘give the money to something Donald Trump hates’. Well, congrats on the payday, Eric.— Stephen Colbert
"People are still trying to figure out why the power went out Sunday at the Super Bowl. Today they found out the reason. Turns out China cut off the electricity for nonpayment of our bill." –Jay Leno
"The White House is warning North Korea that it will face significant consequences if it moves forward with a new round of nuclear tests. Not only that — it's also warning South Korea that it will face serious consequences if Psy makes another ad for pistachios." –Jimmy Fallon
"Pakistan is opening an amusement park and a zoo in the same town where the raid on Osama Bin Laden took place. The zoo is pretty cool, but I've heard you won't be able to see the seals until it's too late." –Jimmy Fallon
"A power outage during a Super Bowl in Louisiana — but don't worry. FEMA said they will be there no later than Thursday." –David Letterman
"A new study just came out and it reveals that straight men who watch porn are more likely to support same-sex marriage. The study also found that straight men who don't watch porn are lying." –Conan O'Brien
"U.S. employers just added 157,000 jobs to the economy. Of course, most of those were for backup dancers for Beyoncé." –Conan O'Brien
"Last night was one of the highest rated Super Bowls ever, with 108 million people watching. This year's game added $430 million to the New Orleans economy — apparently none of which was used to pay the electric bill." –Jimmy Fallon
"The lights in the Superdome went out for 33 minutes at the beginning of the third quarter. The 49ers were just standing around on the field, not knowing what to do — and then the blackout happened." –Jimmy Fallon
"The lights went out in the third quarter, which is weird because normally I don't experience a blackout until after a Super Bowl party." –Jimmy Fallon
I have been working on a paper for the Education Market. The paper talks about using video games as a teaching tool for children with learning disabilities. The age demographic would be 8 to 18. Games could be up to the teacher or student to choose. Games might include soccer, football, basketball, etc.
Students could learn about various historical or fictional characters and create them as players for their team. It would allow the student to study history, philosophy, religion, sports, popular culture, etc. and then create the characters to be a part of their team. The students would even be able to play alongside their created characters.
On some of the teams historical figures like Martin Luther King, and Abraham Lincoln will play on the same team with authors like Ernest Hemingway and William Shakespeare, or Elvis Presley and Tupac Shakur.
The process is meant to be a simple and fun way for kids to learn subjects such as world history, literature, poetry, art, music, science and vocabulary. Maybe PS4/XBOX machines might be donated or discounted to schools for these classes. More on the paper as it is fleshed out. Enjoy the simulations.
Also for sentimental reasons, some fallen friends and family are on this team. Semper Fi. May you rest in peace.
On the Indianapolis Colts
Former Colt players, Marvin Harrison, Reggie Wayne, Dwight Freeney, Robert Mathis, Bob Sanders, Andrew Luck, T.Y. Hilton
LT Paul McCartney, musician The Beatles
LT Nelson Mandela, South African leader
LG Jesus Christ, some folks Lord and Savior
LG Ringo Starr, musician The Beatles
C Charles Bukowski, poet
C Muddy Waters, musician
RG God
RG Winston Churchill, English Prime Minister
RT John Lennon, musician The Beatles
RT George Harrison, musician The Beatles
TE/DT Clay Brannon, boy wonder
WR/DE Jeremiah Brewster, wonder boy
DT Army, Jack Renforth (RIP), TE Paul Bantley (RIP), HB/LB G. Hulse, Army, HB J. Purkey, Navy, T.F., Marines, David Wood, Marines, Ian Betts, Navy
More Colts players include Martin Luther King, Stephen Hawking, Albert Einstein, as well as characters from Star Trek…
Jeanluc Picard, Cmndr Worf, Cmdr Data, James Kirk, Mr Spock, Jonathan Archer, Cmdr Tuvok, Geordi LaForge, Ben Sisko, etc.
David Letterman's Top Ten Thoughts Going Through the Somali Pirate's Mind While in New York City
10. This city is more dangerous than downtown Mogadishu.
9. It's like my own episode of "Gossip Girl."
8. Maybe Madonna will adopt me.
7. If I don't get a corned beef on rye soon, I'm gonna plotz!
6. How can I meet Zac Efron?
5. Go Niners!
4. Any chance of getting "Jersey Boys" tickets?
3. This would be a pretty sweet trip if it weren't for the handcuffs and jail.
2. Why the hell are these people lining up to see Letterman?
1. You charge $40 for parking, and I'm the pirate?
I have been working on a
paper for the Education Market.
The paper talks about using
video games as a teaching tool for
children with learning
disabilities.
The age demographic would be
8 to 18. Games could be up to the teacher or student to chose. Games might
include soccer, football, basketball, etc.
Students could learn about
various historical or fictional characters and create them as players for their
team. It would allow the student to study history, philosophy, religion,
sports, popular culture, etc. and then create the characters to be a part of
their team. The students would even be able to play along side their created
characters.
In this example I used PS4
Madden 17. On some of the teams historical figures like Martin Luther King, and
Abraham Lincoln will play on the same team with authors like Ernest Hemingway
and William Shakespeare, or Elvis Presley and Tupac Shakur.
The process is meant to be a
simple and fun way for kids to learn
subjects such as world
history, literature, poetry, art, music, science and vocabulary.
Maybe PS4/XBOX machines might
be donated or discounted to schools for these classes. More on the paper as it
is fleshed out. Enjoy the simulations.
On the Indianapolis Colts
Former Colt players, Marvin Harrison, Reggie Wayne, Dwight
Freeney, Robert Mathis, Bob Sanders
Offensive Line
LT Paul McCartney,
musician The Beatles
LT Nelson Mandela,
South African leader
LG Jesus, some folks
Lord and Savior
LG Ringo Starr,
musician The Beatles
C Charles Bukowski,
poet
C Muddy Waters,
musician
RG God
RG Winston Churchill,
English Prime Minister
RT John Lennon,
musician The Beatles
RT George Harrison,
musician The Beatles
TE/DT Clay Brannon, boy
wonder
WR/DE Jeremiah Brewster,
wonder boy
DT Army, Jack Renforth
(RIP), TE Paul Bantley (RIP)
HB/LB G. Hulse, Army, HB J.
Purkey, Navy, T.F., Marines
More Colts players include
Martin Luther King, Stephen Hawking, Albert Einstein, as well as characters
from Star Trek…
Jeanluc Picard, Cmndr Worf,
Cmdr Data, James Kirk,
Mr Spock, Jonathan Archer,
Cmdr Tuvok, Geordi LaForge
Ben Sisko
Performers and popular
culture, Jack Bauer, 24, played by Keifer Sutherland, Nate Fisher, Six Feet
Under, played by Peter Krause.
Also for sentimental reasons,
some fallen friends and family are on this team. Semper Fi. May you rest in
peace.
San Francisco 49ers Fantasy
Roster
Offense
QB Joe Montana, NFL
QB Colin Kaepernick,
NFL
HB Miles Davis,
musician
HB Roger Craig, NFL
HB Hugh McElhenny, NFL
HB Sam Merlotte, True
Blood, played by Sam Trammell
FB Butch Coolidge, Pulp
Fiction, played by Bruce Willis
FB Alex Brewster, boy
wonder
WR Jerry Rice, NFL
WR Bernie Sanders, US
Senator, Vermont
WR Tyrion Lannister,
Game of Thrones, played by Peter Dinklage
WR John Taylor, NFL
WR Dwight Clark, NFL
WR Duke Ellington,
musician
WR Charlie Parker,
musician
TE Russ Francis, NFL
TE Don Draper, Mad Men
played by Jon Hamm
TE Jon Hamm, actor
TE Nat Turner, slave
revolt leader
LT Steve Wallace, NFL
LG Ian Betts, Navy
LG Glenn Greenwald,
journalist
C Randy Cross, NFL
C Groucho Marx,
comedian
RG Saul Alinsky,
political activist
RG Shaka Zulu, monarch
of Zulu Kingdom
RT Harris Barton, NFL
RT Sheldon Cooper, Big
Bang Theory, played by Jim Parsons
Defense
LE Fred Dean, NFL
LE Conor McGregor,
martial artist
LE Ben Sisko, Star
Trek, played by Avery Brooks
LE John Lee Hooker,
musician
LE Lafeyette Reynolds,
True Blood, played by Nelsan Ellis
RE Charles Haley, NFL
RE Shepherd Book,
Firefly, played by Ron Glass
RE John McClane, Die
Hard, played by Bruce Willis
RE David Palmer, 24,
played by Dennis Haysbert
DT Teal’c, Stargate
SG-1, played by Christopher Judge
DT John Shaft, Shaft,
played by Richard Roundtree
DT Nate Fisher, Six
Feet Under, played by Peter Krause
DT Mike Hammer, Mike
Hammer, played by Stacey Keach
DT Youngblood Priest,
Super Fly, played by Ron O’Neal
LB Ronon Dex, Stargate
Atlantis, played by Jason Momoa
LB John Coltrane,
musician
LB Rick Grimes, The
Walking Dead, played by Andrew Lincoln
LB Archie Moore, Boxer
LB Theolonious Monk,
musician
LB Charles Bukowski,
poet
LB Gene Tunney, Boxer
LB Zeke Anderson, Tour
of Duty, played by Terence Knox
LB Walter White,
Breaking Bad, played by Bryan Cranston
LB Lando Calrissian,
Star Wars, played by Billy Dee Williams
LB Bob Marley, musician
LB Mike Tyson, Boxer
LB Keena Turner, NFL
CB Deion Sanders, NFL
CB Dwight Hicks, NFL
CB Robert Johnson, musician
CB Eric Carter, 24,
played by Corey Hawkins
CB Lightning Hopkins,
musician
CB Jimi Hendrix,
musician
CB Floyd Patterson,
Boxer
FS Ronnie Lott, NFL
FS Jack Bauer, 24,
played by Keifer Sutherland
FS Tarzan Cooper,
basketball, New York Renaissance
This
is the number one Trump feud of the day, if not the year so far. Donald Trump’s
first wife, Ivana, not to be confused with Ivanka, has a new book coming out
tomorrow called “Raising Trump,” in which she talks about what a great job she
did raising those kids. And there’s interesting nuggets in the book. She claims
when pregnant with her first child, Trump told her he didn’t want to name him
Donald Jr. because, and I quote, “What if he’s a loser?” And now every time
they talk, he’s like, I told you we shouldn't — anyway. –Jimmy Kimmel
Vice
president Mike Pence left the stadium before yesterday’s game between the
Indianapolis Colts and San Francisco 49ers after several players on the 49ers
kneeled in protest during the national anthem. Wow, dude, if you’re that easily
offended, do not look to your right. You’ll be shocked. –Seth Meyers
Vice
President Mike Pence left the Colts game yesterday after some of the 49ers
kneeled during the national anthem. Also, because he heard the phrase “man on
man” and got really uncomfortable. –Jimmy Fallon
I
read that the cost of Pence’s trip to the game was $200,000 if you factor in
the flying, security, and hotel rooms, plus the ice cream in the helmet Trump
asked him to bring back. –Jimmy Fallon
I have been working on a
paper for the Education Market.
The paper talks about using
video games as a teaching tool for
children with learning
disabilities.
The age demographic would be
10 to 18. Games could be up to the teacher or student to chose. Games might
include soccer, football, basketball, etc.
Students could learn about
various historical or fictional characters and create them as players for their
team. It would allow the student to study history, philosophy, religion,
sports, popular culture, etc. and then create the characters to be a part of
their team. The students would even be able to play along side their created
characters.
In this example I used PS4
Madden 17. On some of the teams historical figures like Martin Luther King, and
Abraham Lincoln will play on the same team with authors like Ernest Hemingway
and William Shakespeare, or Elvis Presley and Tupac Shakur.
The process is meant to be a
simple and fun way for kids to learn.
Maybe PS4/XBOX machines might
be donated or discounted to schools for these classes.
More on the paper as it is
fleshed out. Enjoy the simulations.
On the Indianapolis Colts
Offensive Line
LT Paul McCartney,
musician The Beatles
LG Jesus, some folks
Lord and Savior
C Charles Bukowski,
poet
RG God
RT John Lennon,
musician The Beatles
More Colts players include
Martin Luther King, Stephen
Hawking, Albert Einstein,
Muddy Waters, Winston
Churchill, Nelson Mandela
even characters from Star
Trek
Jeanluc Picard, Cmndr Worf,
Cmdr Data, James Kirk,
Mr Spock, Jonathan Archer,
Cmdr Tuvok, Geordi LaForge
Ben Sisko
and fictional characters
Jack Bauer, 24, played by
Keifer Sutherland
Nate Fisher, Six Feet Under,
played by Peter Krause
Also for sentimental reasons,
some fallen friends are on this team. Semper Fi. May you rest in peace.
San Francisco 49ers
Fantasy Roster
Offense
QB Joe Montana, NFL
HB Miles Davis,
musician
HB Roger Craig, NFL
HB Hugh McElhenny, NFL
FB Butch Coolidge, Pulp
Fiction, played by Bruce Willis
WR Jerry Rice, NFL
WR Bernie Sanders, US
Senator, Vermont
WR Tyrion Lannister,
Game of Thrones, played by Peter Dinklage
WR John Taylor, NFL
WR Dwight Clark, NFL
WR Duke Ellington,
musician
WR Charlie Parker,
musician
TE Russ Francis, NFL
TE Don Draper, Mad Men
played by Jon Hamm
TE Jon Hamm, actor
TE Eric Carter, 24,
played by actor Corey Hawkins
LT Steve Wallace, NFL
C Randy Cross, NFL
RT Harris Barton, NFL
Defense
LE Fred Dean, NFL
LE Conor McGregor,
martial artist
LE Ben Siko, Star Trek,
played by Avery Brooks
LE John Lee Hooker,
musician
LE Lafeyette Reynolds,
True Blood, played by Nelsan Ellis
RE Charles Haley, NFL
RE Shepherd Book,
Firefly, played by Ron Glass
RE John McClane, Die
Hard, played by bruce Willis
RE David Palmer, 24,
played by Dennis Haysbert
DT Teal’c, Stargate
SG-1, played by Christopher Judge
DT John Shaft, Shaft,
played by Richard Roundtree
DT Nate Fisher, Six
Feet Under, played by Peter Krause
DT Mike Hammer, Mike
Hammer, played by Stacey Keach
LB Ronon Dex, Stargate
Atlantis, played by Jason Momoa
LB John Coltrane,
musician
LB Archie Moore, Boxer
LB Theolonious Monk,
musician
LB Charles Bukowski,
poet
LB Gene Tunney, Boxer
LB Zeke Anderson, Tour
of Duty, played by Terence Knox
LB Walter White,
Breaking Bad, played by Bryan Cranston
LB Lando Calrissian,
Star Wars, played by Billy Dee Williams
LB Bob Marley, musician
LB Mike Tyson, Boxer
LB Keena Turner, NFL
CB Deion Sanders, NFL
CB Lightning Hopkins,
musician
CB Jimi Hendrix,
musician
CB Floyd Patterson,
Boxer
FS Ronnie Lott, NFL
SS BA Baracas, The
A-Team, played by Mr. T
SS Leonard McCoy, Star
Trak, played by DeForest Kelley
