I'm sorry, could you repeat the question? (Wobbly artist July 1919)

"Mitt Romney's search for a vice president continues. As you know, one of Mitt Romney's problems is that he's never hired an American for a job before, so this is new." –Jay Leno

"Vice President Dick Cheney said today he's not sure he'll ever go hunting again. If he does decide to go hunting again, good luck finding anyone to go with him." --Jay Leno

"Have you watched any of these confirmation hearings for Supreme Court nominee Sam Alito? Senators are given thirty minutes to question the guy: thirty minutes exactly. Senator Joe Biden's question took 23 1/2 minutes. His question took 24 minutes. And Alito is smart. He is brilliant. Do you know what he said? 'I'm sorry, could you repeat the question?'" --Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Make Jobs, Not War (So, where's the lama?)

"Supreme Court confirmation hearings are under way for Judge Samuel Alito. It's pretty interesting. Democrats want to know his position on privacy, while Republicans want to know his position on prison terms for bribery." --Jay Leno

"President Bush met with the Dalai Lama today at the White House. Another awkward moment. When the Dalai Lama showed up, Bush said, 'So, where's the lama?'" --Jay Leno

 

"Hey, John McCain is moving up in the polls. In fact, he appears to be getting support from younger voters. How young you say? Well, yesterday, he was endorsed by Nancy Reagan. She said she's either going to endorse McCain or nobody. Well, that's got to make you feel good, huh?" --Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

The troops are inanimate objects to these swine (Me Just Tryna Live My Life v. Ladies Be Crazy, Amirite?)

Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito has come under fire after photos showed an upside-down American flag flying in front of his Virginia home shortly after the insurrection on Jan. 6, 2021. There is no possible reason for a Supreme Court justice displaying a symbol of insurrection at his home, which is why, when this photo was published, Alito immediately did the right thing, owned up and blamed his wife. —Stephen Colbert

So he dropped a dime on his gal, citing the landmark case of ‘Me Just Tryna Live My Life v. Ladies Be Crazy, Amirite?’ — Stephen Colbert

So, Alito clearly knew about this because he came and went for several days, and, to paraphrase my favorite spangled banner, ‘The flag was still there.’ — Stephen Colbert 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Forgive me, I'm sober. (Jesus, it's hot.)

 

"The American Bar Association gave Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito their highest rating. President Bush gave Alito his highest rating, too, because he called him 'Super' and 'Duper.'" --Conan O'Brien

"During Judge Alito's hearings, Senator Ted Kennedy accidentally referred to Sam Alito as Ali-oto. Kennedy said 'Forgive me, I'm sober.'" --Conan O'Brien

 

"The National Academy of Sciences says that due to pollution and global warming, this year the Earth has been the hottest since the time of Jesus which explains why the disciples were always saying, 'Jesus, it's hot.'" --Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

The government would never do that (traveling with several MILFs)

 

"Big night for John McCain. He has been taking his 95-year-old mother along with him on his campaign bus. None of the other candidates are traveling with their mothers, but Bill Clinton is traveling with several MILFs." --Conan O'Brien

"Yesterday, President Bush said Alito was 'imminently qualified.' Yeah, then he said 'Unless imminently means not.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Later this week, President Bush will meet with the prime minister of Japan. Or, as President Bush calls him, Mr. Miyagi." --Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Who wants to lick the flyswatter? (Ted Kennedy sent over a couple Bloody Marys)

"Have you been watching the Samuel Alito confirmation hearings? They're so dull, CBS has ordered 13 more episodes. This Alito guy is so tight that to loosen him up, finally, Ted Kennedy sent over a couple Bloody Marys." --David Letterman

 

"How about that Presidential campaign, huh? Mitt Romney now has suspended his campaign. Yeah, but don't worry about Mitt. He's already gone back to playing Ridge Forrester on 'The Bold and the Beautiful.'" --David Letterman

"It's interesting what former presidents do when they leave office. Bush is now working as a motivational speaker. And if you want to be motivated, who better to turn to than the guy who invaded the wrong country and started a depression." -David Letterman

"Experts believe that now that Fidel has resigned, he will either be succeeded by his brother, Raul, or by his idiot son, Fidel W. Castro." --David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Or as George W. Bush calls it, August. (So, the nightmare begins again)

"Saddam Hussein boycotted his trial in Baghdad this week.

He just refused to come to the courthouse. So what, just so

long as he shows up for the execution. That's all I care

about." --Jay Leno

"These pundits can be very unfair, like they always ask Barack Obama if he's black enough. Nobody asks Mitt Romney if he's white enough. I guess he is white enough." --Jay Leno

 

"They asked Judge Alito a lot of questions, to see if he's in touch with the average American. What is the price of a loaf of bread? How much is a gallon of milk? What is the cost to buy a congressman?" --Jay Leno

 

"ABC announced their show, 'Commander In Chief,' is going on a six-week vacation. Or as Bush calls it, August." --Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He had to slam his gavel twice before boredom was restored (meaning if you want an abortion, you'd better hop to it)

 

"In a 58-42 vote on Tuesday, the Senate confirmed Samuel Alito as the nation's next Supreme Court Justice, meaning if you want an abortion, you'd better hop to it." --Tina Fey

"During Sen. Graham's apology, Martha-Ann Bomgardner, Alito's wife, was so overcome with emotion she broke down in tears and left the hearing. To get an abortion." --Tina Fey

"Fox News Channel has launched a contest called 'Bloviate with Bill,' in which six viewers will be flown to New York and given the chance to fend off O'Reilly's unwanted sexual advances." --Tina Fey

 

"During the Senate confirmation hearings for Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito, tempers boiled when Sen. Ted Kennedy threatened to subpoena records of the controversial group Concerned Alumni of Princeton, and chairman Arlen Specter had to slam his gavel twice before boredom was restored. " --Tina Fey

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

They have a similar result, but there’s a vas deferens (an invincible love)

June 2022

“With contraception in the judicial cross hairs, folks are taking their genitals into their own hands, with men rushing to get vasectomies — and then very slowly walking home from them.” —Stephen Colbert

“According to one urologist, before the Supreme Court’s ruling he received four or five vasectomy requests a day. But since the decision, that number has spiked to 12 to 18. Makes sense. The most effective forms of birth control for men are abstinence and vasectomies. They have a similar result, but there’s a vas deferens.” —Stephen Colbert

“I’ve never personally performed a vasectomy, but I’d like to try my very first one on Samuel Alito.” —Chelsea Handler

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It was just a beautiful day to kick back, enjoy the sun, and burn our throats to dust with endless screaming (laying eggs)

May 2022

“A leaked supreme court draft opinion that would overturn Roe v Wade, allowing states – currently over 20 – to ban abortion, has been made public. It was just a beautiful day to kick back, enjoy the sun, and burn our throats to dust with endless screaming. 

The 98-page opinion by Justice Samuel Alito, while not official, is basically a trailer for how fucking horrible life is to become for a lot of people. The opinion is infuriating not just for the rights it strips away but for Alito citing a shithead from the goddamn 17th century who defended marital rape and had women executed for witchcraft. Or, as more than half of the supreme court calls that: not far enough. 

And that’s not even the oldest weird shit Alito cites. His ass goes all the way back to abortion law in the 13th century. I think we can limit precedents that control human bodies to after the same century that Genghis Khan did his thing. Given that the majority of Americans support abortion access, it was no surprise that people took to the streets in light of Roe’s likely demise, and even less surprisingly, it took no time at all for conservatives to recast themselves as the real victims. 

Republican leaders Mitch McConnell, Sean Hannity and Marco Rubio are calling for civility: Pardon me, but in my civilest way possible, may I humbly request that you fuck the fuck off?! How dare Republicans demand civility as they strip away our civil rights. When Susan Collins gets a sidewalk full of bubble letter chalk, she is not the victim. When Amy Coney Barrett’s tacky-ass McMansion is visited by a pack of roaming handmaids, she is not the victim. 

The real victims, she continued, will be the people who live in the 26 states that will ban abortion if Roe v Wade is overturned, the people who could be prosecuted for providing a procedure, poor people and people of color who will depressingly bear the greatest brunt of reproductive decisions made by men who, as best as I can tell, believe women lay eggs.” —Samantha Bee

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

not too corrupt to be just an ordinary congressman (Unless imminently means not)

"Yesterday, President Bush said Alito was 'immenately qualified.' Yeah, then he said 'Unless imminently means not.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Vice President Dick Cheney had a little scare -- he was rushed to the hospital due to difficulty breathing. Fortunately, the difficulty breathing wasn't due to heart problems, but because of the Bush administration's environmental policies." --Jay Leno

"Indicted Congressman Tom DeLay announced that he will not run for re-election as House Majority Leader but that he will run for re-election to Congress. So apparently he thinks he's too corrupt to be a leader, but not too corrupt to be just an ordinary congressman." --Jay Leno

What is the price of a loaf of bread? How much is a gallon of milk? What is the cost to buy a congressman?

"During Sen. Graham's apology, Martha-Ann Bomgardner, Alito's wife, was so overcome with emotion she broke down in tears and left the hearing. To get an abortion." --Tina Fey

"They asked Judge Alito a lot of questions, to see if he's in touch with the average American. What is the price of a loaf of bread? How much is a gallon of milk? What is the cost to buy a congressman?" --Jay Leno

“And now the  Abramoff guy. You know, the lobbyist involved in the corruption scandal? They're now saying he's completely out of money. Tapped out. In fact, they're making a movie about him called 'Broke Ass Mountain.'" --Jay Leno

Not once did Bush apologize to Oprah for lying about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq

"I have to say I was a little disappointed. Not once did Bush apologize to Oprah for lying about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq." --Jay Leno

"Earlier tonight, President Bush delivered his State of the Union address. The president gave the speech at 9 p.m., which means he had to wear his pajamas under his suit." --Conan O'Brien

"Judge Samuel Alito was confirmed today as the nation's 110th Supreme Court justice. President Bush congratulated Alito and said he hopes he gets along with the other 109 judges." --Conan O'Brien