So I guess in the end, he did teach them all the art of the deal (She’s the one sticking out like a normal thumb)

Another former Donald Trump acolyte is flipping on the former president, as Jenna Ellis became the fourth co-defendant in his Georgia election fraud trial to plead guilty. So I guess in the end, he did teach them all the art of the deal. —Seth Meyers

You might remember Ellis as the least weird lawyer from this press conference with fellow Trump lawyers Rudy Giuliani and Sidney Powell. She’s the one sticking out like a normal thumb. —Seth Meyers

Also on Monday, the House Freedom Caucus of far-right Republicans called on its members to remain in Washington until they could pick a new speaker. Said Matt Gaetz: ‘Aww, but I promised my girlfriend we’d go trick-or-treating.’ —Seth Meyers

And the justice department filed a civil forfeiture claim for a superyacht reportedly belonging to a sanctioned Russian billionaire. ‘Hold up! Let me disembark first!’ said Clarence Thomas. —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

He had to slam his gavel twice before boredom was restored (meaning if you want an abortion, you'd better hop to it)

 

"In a 58-42 vote on Tuesday, the Senate confirmed Samuel Alito as the nation's next Supreme Court Justice, meaning if you want an abortion, you'd better hop to it." --Tina Fey

"During Sen. Graham's apology, Martha-Ann Bomgardner, Alito's wife, was so overcome with emotion she broke down in tears and left the hearing. To get an abortion." --Tina Fey

"Fox News Channel has launched a contest called 'Bloviate with Bill,' in which six viewers will be flown to New York and given the chance to fend off O'Reilly's unwanted sexual advances." --Tina Fey

 

"During the Senate confirmation hearings for Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito, tempers boiled when Sen. Ted Kennedy threatened to subpoena records of the controversial group Concerned Alumni of Princeton, and chairman Arlen Specter had to slam his gavel twice before boredom was restored. " --Tina Fey

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Turning now to sports news, Tom Brady is missing. (That’s tragically suspicious)

April 2022

Business leaders in Miami are hoping to make the city, the crypto currency capitol of the country. Because just like crypto, Miami won’t be around in about twenty years. —Michael Che

An alligator in Florida was photographed swimming with a football in its mouth. Turning now to sports news, Tom Brady is missing. —Michael Che

It was reported that at least 139 people around the country have said they became sick after eating the breakfast cereal Lucky Charms. Well, one or two people getting sick could be a coincidence, but 139? That’s tragically suspicious. —Michael Che

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Mitch McConnell's Shell Game (A solar wall)

Of course Trump doesn’t have a tape. Secretly taping someone would require thinking ahead — and show me one time that this president has done that. –James Corden

But yeah, it turns out Trump didn’t record Comey, there are no tapes. The main reason for this is that people haven’t used tapes since 1992. –James Corden

At a rally in Iowa last night, Trump unveiled a new plan for his long-proposed border wall [clip of Trump]: “We're thinking about building the wall as a solar wall so it creates energy and pays for itself.” A solar wall. Now he’s literally blowing sunshine up our [butts]. –James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535

the eclipse of the sun proves the unreliability of solar power (tequila of mass destruction)

"Earlier today, in parts of the world, there was a total eclipse of the sun. President Bush said that the eclipse of the sun proves the unreliability of solar power." --David Letterman

"Speaking of President Bush, right now he's in Cancun, Mexico. He's down there looking for tequila of mass destruction." --David Letterman

"White House Chief of Staff Andrew Card resigned. He's been replaced by a guy named Josh Bolten. By the way, there's also still an opening for a guy on Condoleezza Rice." --David Letterman

They really started to get worried when he didn't show up at the Clooney wedding

"New York state is spending $750 million to open a solar plant in Buffalo, which will create thousands of jobs. Most of those jobs will be shoveling the snow off the solar equipment." –Jimmy Fallon



"Nobody had seen North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un for a week, then a month, and now six weeks have gone by and nobody's seen him. They really started to get worried when he didn't show up at the Clooney wedding." – David Letterman



"They're getting ready for Halloween at the White House. The pumpkins they're carving came out of Michelle Obama's garden. She raised the pumpkins, and the knife they're using to carve came from a guy who hopped over the fence." –David Letterman