If it works there maybe we'll try it in New Orleans (Bad news for the turkey)

"In his speech President Bush said we need to rebuild Iraq, provide the people with jobs, and give them hope. If it works there maybe we'll try it in New Orleans." --Jay Leno

"President Bush is planning on spending Thanksgiving out at his ranch in Crawford. And you know how he always pardons the White House turkey? Bad news for the turkey: There are three cabinet members ahead of him." --Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It’s like if King Midas touched a turd (it has nothing to do with a woman named Jolene)

We are celebrating the $355 million penalty in Trump’s New York civil fraud trial, which found him guilty of illegally inflating his assets, among other crimes. Because the ruling comes with back interest, Trump really owes the state of New York $454 million. Obviously, Trump needs cash fast. So he’s getting into foot stuff. Trump recently launched “Never Surrender” limited-edition sneakers, selling for $399 a pop. Yes, they are a bold fashion statement. It’s like if King Midas touched a turd. —Stephen Colbert

Trump continues to brag about being responsible for overturning Roe v Wade, despite the unpopularity of that decision, as evidenced by public outcry over a recent Alabama supreme court decision declaring IVF embryos “human beings” with equal protection under the law. The South Carolina senator Lindsey Graham, speaking on Fox News, evidenced the Republican position by trying to distance the ruling from the supreme court’s decision to overturn Roe in 2022. Saying this has nothing to do with Republicans is like saying Dolly Parton’s song Jolene has nothing to do with a woman named Jolene. —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I Like Ike … too much to burden him with the presidency (Just let us have nice things!)

August 2022

“The Kansas referendum, the 59% to 41% decision was kind of shocking, the scale of that victory. That’s just not a win. That’s a Kans-asskicking. And may I remind you, Kansas is a state so bright red it looks like me after 30 seconds on the beach.” —Stephen Colbert

“Keep in mind, this blowout happened after a series of dirty tricks from Republicans in Kansas. First, they made the wording of the ballot measure extra confusing, then they sent voters text messages right before the election that misleadingly equated a yes vote with personal choice. They tried to trick them into voting the wrong way. This is the most misleading political message since 1952’s ‘I Like Ike … too much to burden him with the presidency – vote Stevenson.’” —Stephen Colbert

“There is a new study that found that eating processed food like ice-cream hurts brain function. Stop it, science. Just stop studying things. This is why people turn against you and start eating horse paste. What’s next? Puppy kisses cause herpes? Exposure to Chris Evans is depleting the ozone layer? Just let us have nice things!” —Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I hope voters were given the options yes, no, and da fuck? (a perfect case study of what the GOP has become)

August 2022

“We are celebrating a victory for reproductive rights in the US a month after the supreme court overturned Roe v Wade, as voters in Kansas overwhelmingly decided to keep abortion protections in its state constitution. The defeat of a referendum to remove said rights from the constitution, 59% to 41%, was especially encouraging given that anti-abortion activists used every shady tactic they could think of and still lost. The wording of the referendum was intentionally confusing. I can’t believe they hired the same guy who wrote the iTunes user agreement. I hope voters were given the options yes, no, and da fuck?” —Seth Meyers

“Moreover, Kansas voters saw through the bullshit and overwhelmingly backed abortion rights, despite misleading text messages from a GOP group. The night before the election, the group sent voters a text that said: ‘Women in KS are losing their choice on reproductive rights. Voting YES on the Amendment will give women a choice. Vote YES to protect women’s health.’ But voting yes would do the opposite. You know, as a general rule, if your best strategy is to try to trick people into accidentally voting for you, that’s probably a sign that you’re the bad guys. It’s like, if in order to get people to watch this show online, we made the title of every YouTube video ‘click here for free boner pills!’ Last night was both a promising sign of progress in the fight to safeguard abortion rights on the one hand, and a perfect case study of what the GOP has become on the other hand.” —Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Don’t you think you’re taking it a wee bit too far with the Jesus stuff? (Roses are Red, Violets are Blue)

June 2022

“People just want things done. No one cares about Kente cloth or singing on the Capitol steps and especially not poetry, all right? I feel like any moment now Chuck Schumer is going to throw on a fake pregnant belly, and just take a knee in the Capitol and be like ‘We are all pregnant now and we’re standing together.’” —Trevor Noah

“With Friday’s supreme court ruling overturning Roe v Wade, women in America just lost control of their own bodies. Which, I don’t care who you are, is a horrifying thing to be faced with. The 6-3 ruling overturning half a century of precedent was especially crazy, when you consider that countries like Mexico and Ireland are moving forward in the opposite direction. You do realize how weird that is, right? Ireland has had violent conflicts between Christians and other Christians, and even they are looking at America like, ‘Don’t you think you’re taking it a wee bit too far with the Jesus stuff?’” —Trevor Noah

“I know many people around the country feel infuriated, depressed and like there’s no hope. But there is, there really is. There are grassroots organizations already doing the work on the ground in need of donations and volunteers. And as for the Democrats in power, there is something you can actually do. I have even written a poem addressed to Democratic lawmakers: Roses are red / Violets are blue / The people voted, so how about doing your fucking job passing laws to codify contraception, marriage equality and all the other rights the supreme court has basically threatened to take away / And so are you.” —Trevor Noah

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It was just a beautiful day to kick back, enjoy the sun, and burn our throats to dust with endless screaming (laying eggs)

May 2022

“A leaked supreme court draft opinion that would overturn Roe v Wade, allowing states – currently over 20 – to ban abortion, has been made public. It was just a beautiful day to kick back, enjoy the sun, and burn our throats to dust with endless screaming. 

The 98-page opinion by Justice Samuel Alito, while not official, is basically a trailer for how fucking horrible life is to become for a lot of people. The opinion is infuriating not just for the rights it strips away but for Alito citing a shithead from the goddamn 17th century who defended marital rape and had women executed for witchcraft. Or, as more than half of the supreme court calls that: not far enough. 

And that’s not even the oldest weird shit Alito cites. His ass goes all the way back to abortion law in the 13th century. I think we can limit precedents that control human bodies to after the same century that Genghis Khan did his thing. Given that the majority of Americans support abortion access, it was no surprise that people took to the streets in light of Roe’s likely demise, and even less surprisingly, it took no time at all for conservatives to recast themselves as the real victims. 

Republican leaders Mitch McConnell, Sean Hannity and Marco Rubio are calling for civility: Pardon me, but in my civilest way possible, may I humbly request that you fuck the fuck off?! How dare Republicans demand civility as they strip away our civil rights. When Susan Collins gets a sidewalk full of bubble letter chalk, she is not the victim. When Amy Coney Barrett’s tacky-ass McMansion is visited by a pack of roaming handmaids, she is not the victim. 

The real victims, she continued, will be the people who live in the 26 states that will ban abortion if Roe v Wade is overturned, the people who could be prosecuted for providing a procedure, poor people and people of color who will depressingly bear the greatest brunt of reproductive decisions made by men who, as best as I can tell, believe women lay eggs.” —Samantha Bee

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”