The duty of the comedian (Jail to the Chief)

March 2023

“Donald Trump boasted over the weekend that he would be arrested this week on charges stemming from a Manhattan prosecutor’s investigation into hush money payments to porn star Stormy Daniels during his 2016 presidential campaign. But those charges remained unconfirmed as of Tuesday evening. It’s a shame he wasn’t getting arrested today, because what better day for Trump to get arrested than on Rosie O’Donnell’s birthday. Trump is reported to be reveling being back in the news and the center of attention. Here’s a question: if Trump goes to prison, does the Secret Service go with him? It sounds like the premise for a Mark Wahlberg/Kevin Hart movie, right? Jail to the Chief.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Donald Corleone is reportedly looking at his arrest as a fun experience, telling people he’s excited about potentially being handcuffed and paraded in front of cameras like it’s the red carpet at some kind of Guilty People’s Choice awards. He’s also saying he specifically wants to get handcuffed behind his back, which weirdly is the same request he had for Stormy Daniels when he got into this mess. Melania has been debating whether she should play Party in the USA or Celebration by Kool & the Gang.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“The scenario “that has the Maga world all fired up right now, and that is if Trump refuses to leave Mar-a-Lago to surrender to authorities in New York or Georgia or one of the many places where he might wind up getting arrested, you know who would have to authorize the warrant? That would be Ron ‘Meatball Ron’ DeSantis, the governor of Florida and Trump’s main rival for the GOP presidential nomination. Matt Gaetz, the Florida GOP congressman previously investigated for sex trafficking, called on DeSantis to do everything in his power to prevent the arrest, lest ‘any Floridian’ be vulnerable to ‘false accusations’. Spoken like a truly innocent Florida man.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

it looks like Dwayne Johnson standing next to Kevin Hart (We’d also like to give him his knife back)

“But in that master impeachment report, there was a 20-page dissent from Republicans. That’s 638 pages for impeachment, 20 against. If you put those stacks next to each other, it looks like Dwayne Johnson standing next to Kevin Hart.” --Jimmy Fallon

“Senator Lindsey Graham told a crowd this weekend, ‘I have made up my mind. I’m not trying to pretend to be a fair juror here.’ Really? You should at least pretend.” --Stephen Colbert

“How is that O.K.? That’s like one of the jurors standing up at the beginning of a trial and saying, ‘Your honor, we think the defendant is a really good guy, and we’re going to be coordinating with him throughout the trial. We’d also like to give him his knife back.’” --Stephen Colbert

“That’s right — not one Republican evidently has a problem with the president blackmailing a foreign government to get dirt on a political opponent. In a related story, the G.O.P. has changed its mascot from an elephant to an ostrich.” --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

"The three funniest men on the planet are Will Ferrell, Kevin Hart and John Hulse." --Clay Brannon

Thank you, Clay. True praise, indeed.

When you want the truth, never ask a politician. Ask a comedian. --John Hulse

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html