The duty of the comedian (Jail to the Chief)

March 2023

“Donald Trump boasted over the weekend that he would be arrested this week on charges stemming from a Manhattan prosecutor’s investigation into hush money payments to porn star Stormy Daniels during his 2016 presidential campaign. But those charges remained unconfirmed as of Tuesday evening. It’s a shame he wasn’t getting arrested today, because what better day for Trump to get arrested than on Rosie O’Donnell’s birthday. Trump is reported to be reveling being back in the news and the center of attention. Here’s a question: if Trump goes to prison, does the Secret Service go with him? It sounds like the premise for a Mark Wahlberg/Kevin Hart movie, right? Jail to the Chief.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Donald Corleone is reportedly looking at his arrest as a fun experience, telling people he’s excited about potentially being handcuffed and paraded in front of cameras like it’s the red carpet at some kind of Guilty People’s Choice awards. He’s also saying he specifically wants to get handcuffed behind his back, which weirdly is the same request he had for Stormy Daniels when he got into this mess. Melania has been debating whether she should play Party in the USA or Celebration by Kool & the Gang.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“The scenario “that has the Maga world all fired up right now, and that is if Trump refuses to leave Mar-a-Lago to surrender to authorities in New York or Georgia or one of the many places where he might wind up getting arrested, you know who would have to authorize the warrant? That would be Ron ‘Meatball Ron’ DeSantis, the governor of Florida and Trump’s main rival for the GOP presidential nomination. Matt Gaetz, the Florida GOP congressman previously investigated for sex trafficking, called on DeSantis to do everything in his power to prevent the arrest, lest ‘any Floridian’ be vulnerable to ‘false accusations’. Spoken like a truly innocent Florida man.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

It sounds like Mark Wahlberg referring to himself in the third person (not fully informed)

President Trump’s border wall is back in the news. Because while speaking to the Hispanic caucus in Washington yesterday, chief of staff John Kelly told lawmakers that when Trump promised voters a Mexican border wall during his campaign, he had not been, quote, “fully informed.” Now to be fair, “not fully informed” could describe literally any statement Trump has made since 2003. --James Corden

Trump immediately shot back at this, saying his plan for a border wall remains the same. He tweeted, “The wall is the wall. It has never changed or evolved from the first day I conceived of it.” Great, now he thinks he invented walls. The wall is the wall. It sounds like Mark Wahlberg referring to himself in the third person. --James Corden

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

the "Impeach Trump" chants were being led by Mike Pence (Ghostbusters)

Mark Wahlberg has been named 2017’s highest-paid male actor. Today, Mark said, "I don’t know why either." –Conan O’Brien

There were a lot of protestors at a rally today in Phoenix attended by President Trump and Vice President Pence. Things got awkward when it turned out that the "Impeach Trump" chants were being led by Mike Pence. –Conan O’Brien

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

JOKES: Donald Trump was also named MVP, but it stood for “Mrs. Vladimir Putin.”

The Falcons were up 21-3 at halftime. And then Lady Gaga got the Patriots all fired up and they came out and that comeback really was — I am now 100 percent convinced that Tom Brady is one of those “Westworld” robots. –Jimmy Kimmel

Mark Wahlberg left early, so he didn’t steal it. Maybe it was the equipment manager Brady blamed for deflating those footballs. I hope it was him, because he deserves that $500,000 or whatever they’re going to get for it. –Jimmy Kimmel

New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady was named Super Bowl MVP last night. Donald Trump was also named MVP, but it stood for “Mrs. Vladimir Putin.” –Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

JOKES: Mark Wahlberg didn’t leave alone, the Falcons' defense went with him

"50 Shades Darker" just released a new immersive virtual reality experience that claims to take you inside the movie. Or as wives everywhere put it, "Here’s my credit card. Why don't you and the kids go to the mall for a couple of hours?" –Jimmy Fallon

After yesterday’s closely fought Super Bowl, the Patriots were congratulated by Donald Trump. And the Falcons got a call from Hillary saying, “Welcome to my world, fellas.” –Conan O’Brien

According to a report, Mark Wahlberg left the Super Bowl during the third quarter because the Patriots were losing. He didn’t leave alone; the Falcons' defense went with him. –Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html