You don’t look one day over let’s change the subject (Well, good for you, sir!)

In other presidential news, aides for Joe Biden are reportedly worried about the president overextending himself at the age of 81 by “working long hours, or riding a bike, or nodding too hard, excessive blinking.” But Biden doesn’t see it that way. According to aides, the president frequently reports that he “feels so much younger than my age”. Well, good for you, sir! You don’t look one day over let’s change the subject. —Stephen Colbert

And despite being ordered by a Georgia court to pay a whopping $148 million to two election workers he defamed, Rudy Giuliani continued to repeat falsehoods about them outside the courthouse, on Newsmax and on Steve Bannon’s podcast. He says it everywhere he goes. He even said it to his current roommates, two seagulls on South Street Seaport. On Tuesday, the same election workers sued Giuliani again to permanently stop him from lying about them. Well, normally I would say don’t kick a man when he’s down, but in Rudy’s case, go for it! —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Did he wake up and scream a lot of stuff into a bowl of oatmeal? (fun sized)

April 2023

“Joe Biden is so old his face could be on money while he is still in office.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“I wonder what Tucker Carlson did on his first morning without his prime-time show. Did he wake up and scream a lot of stuff into a bowl of oatmeal?” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Donald Trump has a new book, which includes letters from various celebrities, many of them thanking him for campaign donations in the past. It’s like he just showed up at a publisher’s office and dumped a bunch of envelopes on their desk. In an interview with Newsmax, Trump claimed the book, which is being sold for $99.99 each, includes ‘beautiful’ letters from such figures as Rosie O’Donnell, Hillary Clinton and others. ‘I think people are going to learn a lot from this book’, he said. Right, it will probably be taught in Florida schools.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“President Biden announced today that he will run for a second term and said, ‘Let’s finish the job.’ Yeah, good idea. It would be nice to have a country where a guy could safely retire before he’s 86.” —Seth Meyers

“Can you imagine if it’s Biden versus Trump again? That’s like going into a diner, and the only things on the menu are 2-day-old egg salad and Donald Trump. I guess I’ll take my chances with the egg salad.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I’ll join your hell if you join mine (former crackhead pillow salesman)

March 2022

“In other news, all the characters from Trumpsylvania were out this weekend, including Rudy Giuliani, AKA ‘recount Dracula’, who appeared on a Newsmax show called Wise Guys. I don’t know what this show is, but I for one enjoy any show where the people being interviewed are also eating clams, in which Newsmax hosts interviewed Giuliani at a diner table. What a show – just Rudy having a perfectly normal meeting at an Olive Garden with three Dick Tracy villains, nothing to see.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“And according to a Yahoo poll, Trump leads Biden by 43 points among unvaccinated voters, who might not even make it to the election. Trump loves the poorly vaccinated, and they’re not the only group that is solidly pro-Trump. He’s also a solid favorite among firework stand operators, iguana breeders, disgraced mall Santas, manufacturers of husky golf pants, and former crackhead pillow salesman.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“The first weekend of March Madness and this year’s Cinderella team, the 15-seed St. Peter’s Peacocks, who upset No 2-seed Kentucky. It’s exciting for longtime fans who have been following the team since Thursday. St. Peter’s is the first team from New Jersey to make the sweet sixteen in more than 20 years. And if they go all the way they’ll be the only team to wear their championship rings on their pinkies.” —Jimmy Fallon

“And finally, the dating company Match has launched a new dating app for parents called Stir. Their slogan is ‘I’ll join your hell if you join mine.’” —Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Because this guy looks like he hasn’t slept in a year (Nice day for a revolution)

February 2021

“But you see, that’s the power of the courts right there, because Mike Lindell tried to stage a coup and Newsmax was fine with inviting him on. But the second he started saying [expletive] that was going to get them sued, all of a sudden they were like, ‘No, no, no, no, my man. Overthrowing the government is one thing, but a lawsuit? That [expletive]’s serious.’ And keep in mind, this is Newsmax we’re talking about. Remember, Newsmax is like Fox News after it stopped taking its meds. But at least for a minute, Dominion managed to sue them into behaving like actual journalists.” — Trevor Noah

“Yesterday, Lindell went on right-wing, news-free news channel Newsmax, which used to be all-in on the Dominion lie, but since receiving a letter from Dominion’s flesh-eating attorneys, has disavowed that, because according to their statement, ‘We here at Newsmax are committed to keeping some of our money.’” —Stephen Colbert

“Also, I’ve got to ask: Does MyPillow actually work? Because this guy looks like he hasn’t slept in a year.” —Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”