You don't want to strip people of healthcare until after the holiday that mixes booze and explosives (Yowza!)

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell announced that voting on the [healthcare] bill would be delayed until after the Fourth of July. It's a smart move. You don't want to strip people of healthcare until after the holiday that mixes booze and explosives. –Stephen Colbert

Listening to Glenn Beck tell a story is like watching paint take itself seriously.--Stephen Colbert

In fact, the Supreme Court ruling says that statements made during a campaign may not be legally determinative. So, the things he said during the campaign may not be true? Wait, does that mean he's NOT Making America Great? Hold on, is Sen. Rubio "Regular-Sized Marco?" Of course, almost immediately, Donald Trump crowed via tweet, "Supreme Court upholds Trump travel ban. Wow!" Wow? That's very presidential — much like Lincoln in the Emancipation Proclamation: "All persons held as slaves within the rebellious states are, and henceforward shall be free. Yowza!" --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

So it’s less of a border policy and more of an improv show (Do Florida next!)

June 2021

“Juneteenth became a national holiday with President Biden’s signature on Thursday. And long overdue. Juneteenth commemorates June 19, 1865, the day the last group of enslaved people in America learned about the signing of the Emancipation Proclamation that had taken place two and a half years earlier. Then, it only took 156 more years until the idea finally reached Washington that maybe we should celebrate this. My understanding is that they’re giving it the full holiday treatment — a day off, community gatherings, and, one assumes, 50 percent off all Tempur-Pedic California Kings.” —Stephen Colbert

“There was a big announcement from Texas-governor-and-man-breathing-easier-thanks-to-Allegra Greg Abbott. Abbott says he’s going to solicit donations from the public to fund the construction of Texas’ border wall. Hear me out — it’s about time. Somebody’s got to keep those Texans out of the U.S. Do Florida next!” —Stephen Colbert

“Abbott was clear on wanting money and wanting wall, but the other details were pretty fuzzy. As one reporter put it, ‘He says Texans can donate their private land and money to the project, but he can’t say what the project will look like, how many miles will be built or where it will be built.’ So it’s less of a border policy and more of an improv show.” —Stephen Colbert

“That’s right, Texas is building a wall, and New Mexico’s going to pay for it.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Maybe the wall is to keep Ted Cruz from fleeing to Mexico the next time there’s an emergency.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“OK, so, one state can do its own foreign policy? It reminds me of that famous headline after Pearl Harbor: ‘Delaware Declares Dela-war.’” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

If you donate more than $10, you get to sit at a different table (the document that freed the vampires)

June 2012

"Mitt Romney has a new fundraising gimmick. If you donate $3 or more to his campaign, your name will be entered into a drawing to win a dinner with Mitt Romney and Donald Trump. If you donate more than $10, you get to sit at a different table." –Jay Leno

"While talking about the economy, Joe Biden said it's a depression for millions of Americans. He used the word 'depression' to describe the economy. I don't know if Mitt Romney has picked a running mate yet, but Joe Biden sounds like he'd be perfect." –Jay Leno

"A rare copy of Abraham Lincoln's Emancipation Proclamation sold for $2.1 million at an auction house in New York City. As you know, the Emancipation Proclamation is the document that freed the vampires." –Jay Leno

"Analysts, according to The Wall Street Journal, say the weak economy is causing less energy use, resulting in falling oil prices. So basically the worse the economy is, the lower the price of oil. Do you know what that means? If Obama gets re-elected, gas could be free." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

and henceforward shall be free. Yowza! (I think you mean “Putin here.”)

Of course, almost immediately, Donald Trump crowed via tweet, "Supreme Court upholds Trump travel ban. Wow!" Wow? That's very presidential — much like Lincoln in the Emancipation Proclamation: "All persons held as slaves within the rebellious states are, and henceforward shall be free. Yowza!" --Stephen Colbert

After the decision, Trump got together with members of Congress to celebrate, and he promised to continue his harsh immigration policies, saying, “I will always be defending the sovereignty, the safety, and the security of the American people. That's why I was put here.” Put here? I think you mean “Putin here.” --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”