George W. Bush doesn’t care about Blackberries (cousin Rico)

"President Obama has set aside over 180 million acres of land for polar bears. When Sarah Palin heard about it, she said, 'Todd, get my gun.'" –Conan O'Brien

"On his book tour George W. Bush said, 'I was a Blackberry person, and now I’m an iPad person, so I hope you buy my book in hardcover and electronically.' So there you have it. George W. Bush doesn’t care about Blackberries." –Jimmy Kimmel 

"Legislation was enacted in 1993 designed to allow gay people to serve in the military as long as they told their colleagues that the ripped, topless and be-jean shorted fireman that they had in their foot locker was cousin Rico." –Jon Stewart on "Don't Ask, Don't Tell"

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

It's even worse than we thought. He's a Jewish Muslim (they want Brett Favre to play two more years)

"President Obama held a ceremony at the White House to celebrate the first night of Hanukkah. In response, Republicans said, 'It's even worse than we thought. He's a Jewish Muslim.'" –Conan O'Brien

"The government is considering raising the retirement age to 69. In other words, they want Brett Favre to play two more years." –Conan O'Brien

"Former President George W. Bush said he's a huge fan of his new iPad. Or as he called it, his 'glowing magic window.'" –Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”  

The cause of death was too many comedians saying... (but Hitler was holding it wrong)

"This week in 1944, a bomb intended for Adolf Hitler exploded but failed to kill him. It was a defective device called the Apple iBomb. It would have worked but Hitler was holding it wrong." –Jay Leno

"Newspaper circulation has fallen to a new low and they say they are becoming obsolete. To give you an idea of how bad it is, today I saw a guy sleeping on a park bench with an iPad on his face." –Jay Leno

"The man who invented the black box used in airplanes has died. The cause of death was too many comedians saying, 'Why don't they just make the whole plane out of the black box?'" –Craig Ferguson

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

who's laughing now, Chad! (Avoid the Brownies)

Trump will travel to his Mar-a-Lago resort tomorrow, or as it's more commonly known, the winter Kremlin. --Seth Meyers

Pope Francis said this week that Christmas is not about presents and is about listening to the silent voice of God. Said his secret Santa, "What the hell, man? I got you an iPad!" --Seth Meyers

Researchers are comparing short-finned pilot whales living off the coast of Hawaii to high school cliques, after a study showed the whales purposely chose not to associate with certain other whales. But don't worry, whales. If you're not part of the cool clique, just work really hard, get hired for "SNL," work there a long time, then host your own late-night show, then go back to your high school reunion and see who's laughing now, Chad! --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

He knows it's Obama's fault, he just can't figure out how (Her iPad is not really that absorbent)

"Sarah Palin got an iPad and she was complaining that it's not really that absorbent." –Bill Maher

"These people wake up angry. Glenn Beck today is furious about the volcanic ash cloud from Iceland. He knows it's Obama's fault, he just can't figure out how." –Bill Maher

"Russia has banned all adoptions to America. So if you were hoping to get a little white kid with fetal alcohol syndrome, you're going to have to wait until Lindsay Lohan reproduces." –Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

there's a new app that lets you burn them (it's like Joan Rivers after a Brazilian)

"The iPad has only been out for a few days and it has revolutionized the publishing industry. You can download books, you can read them and store them, and for religious fundamentalists, there's a new app that lets you burn them." –Jimmy Kimmel

"President Obama signed a historic treaty with the Russian president today. Not everyone's happy about it. Fox News said it was a 'summit between a powerful communist leader and the president of Russia.'" –Craig Ferguson

"When I went to Moscow, I saw the tomb of Lenin. They keep his body preserved in a glass coffin. It's waxy, it's falling apart — it's like Joan Rivers after a Brazilian." –Craig Ferguson

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Hey, man, be careful with that. It's not good for you (I'll see you Monday)

In August, Steve Bannon was forced to step down from his job at the White House and has now also been forced out as the head of Breitbart News. The craziest part of this story is, Steve Bannon is a powerful old white guy who has lost not one but two jobs in the last six months, and neither of them was for sexual harassment. --James Corden

Two major Apple investors wrote an open letter to the company pressuring it to study the addictive effects of iPhones and iPads on children. This seems a little bit late; addressing this problem now is like your drug dealer telling you, "Hey, man, be careful with that. It's not good for you. I'll see you Monday." --James Corden

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Not since “Finding Dory” have I seen a character have this much trouble with their memory (GOPedophilia, pt. 2)

The Senate Foreign Relations Committee had a hearing to discussion whether President Trump should continue to have the sole authority to launch a nuclear weapon, or whether his iPad should have some parental controls put on it. –Jimmy Kimmel

Attorney General Jeff Sessions testified in front of the House Judiciary Committee on the subject of collusion with Russia. He was not forthcoming. Not since “Finding Dory” have I seen a character have this much trouble with their memory. –Jimmy Kimmel

    

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JohnHulsecollectedpoems #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

JOKES: the fajitas come out on a sizzling Galaxy Note 7

A gourmet restaurant in San Francisco is now offering a signature dish that is served on an iPad. Or as it will be reported next week, "Restaurant in San Francisco suddenly missing all of its plates." –James Corden

Not all of the entrees at this restaurant come out on an iPad. For example when you order the fajitas, they come out on a sizzling Galaxy Note 7. –James Corden

You know how over the course of his time in office, over four years or eight years, the president gets old and his hair turns gray? During this administration, instead of him, that’s going to happen to all of us.  –Jimmy Kimmel

The French Are Losers

It came out in the news that Donald Trump was once a producer of a Broadway show. It was a revival of "Les Misérables" called "The French Are Losers." –Conan O’Brien

One of the things revealed in Hillary Clinton’s emails is that she doesn’t know how to charge an iPad. Today, Bill Clinton said, "That’s funny, she’s REALLY good at checking an iPad’s browser history." –Conan O’Brien

The Summer Olympics are in Brazil this year, and some of it will be filmed in virtual reality. The technology is so realistic, you can contract the Zika virus from your living room. –Conan O’Brien