she’s used to being with guys who go down with a sinking ship (Find the others)

"I don't know if you're following this, but earlier today, in Vatican City, President Obama had a historic meeting with Pope Benedict XVI. Or, as Fox News is reporting it, 'Obama Caught With Old Man in Dress.'" --Conan O'Brien

"But General Motors announced that they are out of bankruptcy after selling nearly 10,000 Camaros. At a press conference, the head of GM said, 'Thank goodness for coke dealers.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Latest rumor in the entertainment industry is that Sarah Palin may be getting her own TV show. Experts say it will be perfect for TV viewers who find Paula Abdul too coherent." --Conan O'Brien

It was reported today that Donald Trump Jr.’s wife once dated Leonardo DiCaprio. In other words, she’s used to being with guys who go down with a sinking ship. –Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

President George W. Bush either has a thirst for international knowledge or is a drug mule (then your F looks like a C)

 

"I know the country has been mired in deficit spending and it's been a terrible burden on the country in terms of interest payments. Good news today out of Washington. They haven't paid down the debt or come up with any program to do so. What they did is raise the limit of debt we can go to $9 trillion. It sends a great message to the kids: Hey, are you getting an F? Don't study harder, make the grading curve go out to K. Then your F looks like a C." --Jon Stewart

"President Bush left for the Olympic Games early, in an effort to beat the traffic, landing in South Korea for a day of trade talks. It seemed like just another ordinary trip for the president, except, it's his 134th visit to a foreign country! It's a record! He's now officially -- this is true -- our most traveled president in history. It's a little suspicious. Perhaps validating what I have been saying all along: President George W. Bush either has a thirst for international knowledge or is a drug mule." --Jon Stewart

 

"How powerful a man do you have to be to shoot a man in the face and have that person say, 'My bad'?" --Jon Stewart, on Harry Whittington's apology to Cheney

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Out of habit he tried to settle the lawsuit with candy (the other 40% have never heard of the Dallas Cowboys)

A songwriter in Italy is suing Michael Jackson for plagiarism. And out of habit Michael tried to settle the lawsuit with candy. --Conan O’Brien 2/25/1997

According to a new survey 60% of adults say they're aware of someone who's gone to work under the influence of drugs. Apparently the other 40% have never heard of the Dallas Cowboys. 

--Conan O’Brien 2/25/1997

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Your honor, my clients tried to commit a treasonous crime (hiding drugs in soft cheeses)

In other Trump news, the president’s lawyer Rudy Giuliani continues to give troublesome interviews. Last night on Fox News, Giuliani said that Trump couldn’t have colluded with the Russians, because if they had given him dirt on Hillary, he would have used it. Never a good sign when your lawyer’s defense is, “Your honor, my clients tried to commit a treasonous crime, but they were too stupid to actually pull it off.” --James Corden

According to a new report, some middle-class women have started hosting dinner parties around a new trend called “brieing.” Brieing is where the women consume the drug MDMA, also known as Molly, wrapped in brie cheese. It’s about time hiding drugs in soft cheeses wasn’t just for the family dog. --James Corden

Coincidentally, brie and Molly are also the names of most of the women that are doing this. To middle-class women brieing is a fun time. To the rest of society, this is known as a Class-A misdemeanor. --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Ma’am, you were out there for 45 minutes (three Manhattans and a Bud Light)

President Trump last night made his first visit to Manhattan since his inauguration. Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton visited three Manhattans and a Bud Light. –Seth Meyers

An Alabama woman missing for nearly a month said she was able to survive in the woods on mushrooms. Said officials, “Ma’am, you were out there for 45 minutes.” –Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #repealreplacerepublicans #Bernie2020 #FeeltheBern @BrandNew535 @justicedems 

This goes against everything Congress represents (Toga, Toga!)

"President Bush met with the Dalai Lama at the White House. One kind of awkward moment. When the Dalai Lama walked into the Oval Office, he was wearing the traditional robe, and, of course, Bush started chanting, 'Toga, Toga!'" --Jay Leno

"He was given the Medal of Freedom. As you know, the Dalai Lama does not engage in sex, drugs, alcohol, or tobacco. Which raises the question, what was Congress honoring him for? This goes against everything Congress represents." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #repealreplacerepublicans #Bernie2020 #FeeltheBern @BrandNew535 @justicedems 

Colorado says it has to find a new nickname (spotted milk horses)

A transcript from President Trump’s phone call with the Australian prime minister was just leaked and at one point, Trump referred to U.S. dairy farmers as local milk people. Even worse, he referred to cows as spotted milk horses. –Jimmy Fallon

Trump is also being criticized for his conversation with the president of Mexico, where he called New Hampshire “a drug-infested den.” New Hampshire says it’s furious, while Colorado says it has to find a new nickname. –Jimmy Fallon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #repealreplacerepublicans #FeeltheBern #Bernie2020 @BrandNew535 @justicedems 

yet he seems to be blinking 'help me' in morse code (crazy glue)

"Meanwhile, on the Republican side, yesterday John McCain visited President George W. Bush to be passed the torch, a torch that the president most likely broke and crazy glued back together hoping no one would notice." --Jon Stewart

"As you know, McCain and the president have somewhat of a complicated relationship, like this one time in 2000 when the president's surrogates accused McCain of being mentally unstable 'cause he had been a POW, and that his wife was a drug addict, and that he had fathered an illegitimate child with a black prostitute. You remember? [on screen: footage of a '00 debate where McCain tells Bush he should be ashamed']. Yeah, he's not. Of course, you remember in 2000, after Bush won the nomination, McCain was able to put that behind him [on screen: McCain blinking continuously while saying, without much emotion, 'I look forward to enthusiastically campaigning for Governor Bush for the next six months between now and November']. So passionate, and yet he seems to be blinking 'help me' in morse code." --Jon Stewart

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #JusticeDemocrats #Bernie2020

JOKES: Who doesn’t like to see the overdogs win? (Trump heroin)

Drug dealers are now stamping individually wrapped heroin packets with Donald Trump’s face. So finally a Trump-branded product that people actually want to buy. It’s selling like crazy. –Conan O’Brien

The New England Patriots made what turned out to be the biggest comeback in Super Bowl history to beat the Atlanta Falcons in overtime last night. Who doesn’t like to see the overdogs win? –Jimmy Kimmel

Just like the election — a rich white guy married to a model from another country, who seemingly had no chance of winning, actually did win. –Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html