Candidates who are legitimately that stupid are less likely to get elected (and that's just for people to do his taxes)

"Mitt Romney says if he is elected he will create 12 million new

jobs in his first year in office – and that's just for people to do

his taxes." –Jay Leno

"Todd Akin, the Republican Senate candidate from Missouri, is under fire for his controversial comments that women who are 'legitimately raped are less likely to get pregnant.' The good news? Candidates who are legitimately that stupid are less likely to get elected." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Candidates who are legitimately that stupid are less likely to get elected (So, where's the lama?)

"A hurricane is scheduled to hit Tampa during the Republican Convention. These winds are so strong they could actually blow some of Mitt Romney's money back in the United States." –Jay Leno

"President Bush met with the Dalai Lama today at the White House. Another awkward moment. When the Dalai Lama showed up, Bush said, 'So, where's the lama?'" --Jay Leno

"Todd Akin, the Republican Senate candidate from Missouri, is under fire for his controversial comments that women who are 'legitimately raped are less likely to get pregnant.' The good news? Candidates who are legitimately that stupid are less likely to get elected." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

No fair. Not everyone has an ex-president who can speak (Get the fact checkers on that)

"Did you see that Bill Clinton speech? One by one he picked apart and destroyed every claim of the Romney-Ryan campaign. In fact, today Todd Akin said it qualified as a legitimate rape." –Bill Maher

"Bill Clinton’s speech at the convention was just devastating in his simplicity. He said, 'I came from a place where people still thought 2 and 2 was four.' And over at Fox News they said, 'Get the fact checkers on that.'" –Bill Maher

"Of course, it made the Republicans furious. They said, 'No fair. Not everyone has an ex-president who can speak.'" –Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

But if they were, what would they be doing differently (See, I do reach out to poor people)

"Mitt Romney kept his selection of Paul Ryan as his VP nominee secret for more than a week. You know how he was able to keep it secret? He had it hidden next to his tax returns." –Jay Leno

"Mitt Romney said he will not release any more tax returns. He said that he guarantees that he paid at least 13 percent every year. 13 percent? That's not a tax, that's a tip. In fact, it's even a crappy tip." –Jay Leno

"Paul Ryan just released his tax returns for the last two years, and it turns out he and his wife had a combined income of over $323,000 last year. To which Mitt Romney said, 'See, I do reach out to poor people." –Jay Leno

"Todd Akin, the Republican Senate candidate from Missouri, is under fire for his controversial comments that women who are 'legitimately raped are less likely to get pregnant.' The good news? Candidates who are legitimately that stupid are less likely to get elected." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Not only is it absurd but it is the worst superpower ever (They have narrowed it down the list to all women, everywhere)

"But wait. republican Todd Akin says the female body has ways of shutting this down? Not only is it absurd but it is the worst superpower ever." –Bill Maher

"Todd Akin is getting death threats. They have narrowed it down the list to all women, everywhere." –Bill Maher

"Mitt Romney went birther today. He was in Michigan, where he was born, and he said, 'No one has ever asked to see my birth certificate.' Right, because you weren't born. You have a warranty card." –Bill Maher

"Actually Mitt Romney is worried sick about this hurricane. It could ruin everything. Not because of the convention. Because it's headed straight for the island where he keeps his money." –Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He was just the guy to lead the Republican Party into the 16th century (if there's one thing Americans hate...)

"Rick Perry, what a good-looking guy he is. As a requirement for being a Republican candidate for president, you have to look good in a mug shot. I hope this doesn't ruin his chances of being our next dumb president from Texas." –David Letterman

"But have you seen these town hall meetings about the health care? People are screaming. And I'll tell you, because if there's one thing Americans hate, it's comprehensive health coverage." --David Letterman

"Mitt Romney has asked Todd Akin to step down. That's too bad. Todd Akin was the guy to lead the Republican Party into the 16th century." –David Letterman

"As governor of Texas, Rick Perry executed 236 people. Turns out many of them were guilty." –David Letterman

September 2011

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You'd think his slogan was 'have you lost weight?' (It's time for a mutiny)

November 2012

"The Republicans are in full sour grapes mode. They lost because of Obama's dirty tactics, the biased media, and non-whites, and the promise of giveaways to takers. You know, if you scrubbed every inch of your house and something still smells like s**t, it's time to take a shower." –Bill Maher

"Mitt Romney arrived at his victory celebration in a 15-car Secret Service caravan. Of course, when you lose, the Secret Service dumps you immediately. So he had to hitch a ride home with his son. So there he is arriving in the 15-car motorcade and then he goes home in the back seat – Tagg driving, Ann riding shotgun, dog on the roof." –Bill Maher 

"All of the Republican men who talked about lady parts during the campaign, they all lost, including two seats in the Senate, Todd Akin and Richard Murdock, while Claire McCaskill and Elizabeth Warren won. And you know what? After all this stupid rape talk, it is refreshing to see women forcing their way into men's seats." –Bill Maher

"Obama won single women by 38 percent. I think the message to Republicans was clear: get off me." –Bill Maher

"That just doesn't happen in campaigns. You'd think his slogan was 'have you lost weight?'" –Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

They have narrowed it down the list to all women, everywhere (That's the problem with America)

August 2012

"Todd Akin is running for Senate in Missouri and he said if it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways of shutting the whole thing down. And then he made it worse by saying the medical term for this is Pussy Riot." –Bill Maher

"But wait, republican Todd Akin says the female body has ways of shutting this down? Not only is it absurd but it is the worst super power ever." –Bill Maher

"Todd Akin is getting death threats. They have narrowed it down the list to all women, everywhere." –Bill Maher

"I'm not surprised there are people in America who believe things like this. But usually they don't own shoes and they live in an abandoned school bus and they smell like urine. But this guy Todd Akin, he went to college. He can tie a necktie, he doesn't smell like urine. That's the problem with America, we have a bunch of crazy people who clean up good." –Bill Maher

"As much as the Republican establishment wants to denounce Akin and to make him quit, there's very little difference between what he says and what is in his platform. Their platform says no abortion, no exceptions – not for rape, not for incest, not even for Snooki." –Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

and more proof that God is a woman (they made veal mea culpa)

August 2012

"Missouri Congressman Todd Akin has some interesting views on health. I think he's in a little hot water. Penn State took down his statue today." –David Letterman

"Akin apologized on Rachel Ray's show and then they made veal mea culpa." –David Letterman

"Tampa could be hit by Hurricane Isaac, and they might have to cancel or postpone the Republican National Convention. A hurricane headed directly for the Republicans – and more proof that God is a woman." –David Letterman

"Today Todd Akin was named Democratic Party Employee of the Month." –David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Then it got weird when she added, 'Again.' (The haves fighting the really haves)

August 2012

"It’s National Senior Citizen’s Day, which is not to be confused with National Senior Citizen’s Week — the Republican Convention in Florida." –Jimmy Fallon

"A hurricane could threaten next week’s Republican National Convention in Tampa. It could really hurt Republicans — which explains its name, 'Hurricane Todd Akin.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"According to a new report by the Tax Policy Center, the gap between the rich and the super rich is growing wider. This could split the Republican Party in two. The haves fighting the really haves." –Jay Leno

"Happy birthday to gold medalist sprinter Usain Bolt. He turned 26 this week. You know the sad thing? His world record time has already been broken by Republicans running away from Missouri Congressman Todd Akin." –Jay Leno

"It was just announced that most of the speakers at this year’s Democratic National Convention will be women. But it’s going to be annoying when they stop speaking, but won’t tell you why." –Jimmy Fallon

"In a new interview, first lady Michelle Obama said she doesn’t have time to read 'Fifty Shades of Grey.' Then it got weird when she added, 'Again.'" –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He's the guy to lead the Republican Party into the 16th century (the closer at Beverly Hills Mercedes)

August 2012

"Mitt Romney has asked Todd Akin to step down. That's too bad. Todd Akin was the guy to lead the Republican Party into the 16th century." –David Letterman 

"Mitt looks like a guy who would be the closer at Beverly Hills Mercedes." –David Letterman

"And Mitt's running mate Paul Ryan — who has dropped out of nowhere and has energized the Republican ticket — he looks like the guy you see on packages of underwear." –David Letterman

"Finding a co-host for Kelly Ripa has been harder than finding Mitt Romney's tax returns." –David Letterman

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Stay in! Don’t be a quitter. Hang in there. (and that's just for people to do his taxes)

August 2012

"Todd Akin, the Republican Senate candidate from Missouri, is under fire for his controversial comments that women who are 'legitimately raped are less likely to get pregnant.' The good news? Candidates who are legitimately that stupid are less likely to get elected." –Jay Leno

"Fellow Republicans are calling for Todd Akin to step down. But Democrats are going 'Stay in! Don’t be a quitter. Hang in there.'" –Jay Leno

"At a campaign stop in Ohio, a group of senior citizens greeted Republican Vice President nominee Paul Ryan and yelled 'Good luck!' It’s good to see the cast of 'The Expendables 2' is everywhere this week." –Jay Leno

“Todd Akin announced that he is staying in the race. Is that a surprise? A guy who that so little about a woman's body doesn't know when it's time to pull out." –Jay Leno

"Mitt Romney says if he is elected he will create 12 million new jobs in his first year in office – and that's just for people to do his taxes." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Women can shut that whole thing down

"Texas state Senator Wendy Davis single-handedly stopped a draconian abortion bill from getting passed in the Texas state legislature, stood up their filibustering for 12 hours. So I guess Todd Akin was right – women can shut that whole thing down." –Bill Maher



"Not everyone is taking advantage of the new law. John McCain and Lindsay Graham announced today that they're going to continue living secret lives of quiet desperation." –Bill Maher 



"Christian conservatives are furious about this. This has made them defensive. They say they are not bigots because they're against gay marriage. Now they say they're being bullied, demonized, and discriminated against. Yeah, how's that feel?" –Bill Maher 

THAT is a legitimate rape, ladies and gentlemen

"It's got to hurt Mitt Romney. The better the voters knew him, the worse he did. He lost Michigan, one of his home states, in a landslide. Lost Massachusetts in a double landslide. And listen to this, he did worse with Mormons than Bush did. THAT is a legitimate rape, ladies and gentlemen." –Bill Maher



"All of the Republican men who talked about lady parts during the campaign, they all lost, including two seats in the Senate, Todd Akin and Richard Mourdock, while Claire McCaskill and Elizabeth Warren won. And you know what? After all this stupid rape talk, it is refreshing to see women forcing their way into men's seats." –Bill Maher



"Obama won single women by 38 percent. I think the message to Republicans was clear: get off me." –Bill Maher


John Hulse painting


Not everyone has an ex-president who can speak

"The conventions were so different. The Democrats finally look like a real political party; the Republicans look like a seminar for how to flip real estate for Jesus." –Bill Maher 

"Did you see that Bill Clinton speech? One by one he picked apart and destroyed every claim of the Romney-Ryan campaign. In fact, today Todd Akin said it qualified as a legitimate rape." –Bill Maher



"Of course, it made the Republicans furious. They said, 'No fair. Not everyone has an ex-president who can speak.'" –Bill Maher

John Hulse painting

They have narrowed it down the list to all women, everywhere.

"Todd Akin is getting death threats. They have narrowed it down the list to all women, everywhere." –Bill Maher



"I'm not surprised there are people in America who believe things like this. But usually they don't own shoes and they live in an abandoned school bus and they smell like urine. But this guy Todd Akin, he went to college. He can tie a necktie, he doesn't smell like urine. That's the problem with America, we have a bunch of crazy people who clean up good." –Bill Maher



"As much as the Republican establishment wants to denounce Akin and to make him quit, there's very little difference between what he says and what is in his platform. Their platform says no abortion, no exceptions – not for rape, not for incest, not even for Snooki." –Bill Maher

John Hulse painting

It is the worst super power ever

"Mitt Romney went birther today. He was in Michigan, were he was born, and he said, 'No one has ever asked to see my birth certificate.' Right, because you weren't born. You have a warranty card." –Bill Maher



"Todd Akin is running for Senate in Missouri and he said if it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways of shutting the whole thing down. And then he made it worse by saying the medical term for this is Pussy Riot." –Bill Maher



"But wait. republican Todd Akin says the female body has ways of shutting this down? Not only is it absurd but it is the worst super power ever." –Bill Maher

John Hulse painting

More proof that God is a woman..

"Missouri Congressman Todd Akin has some interesting views on health. I think he's in a little hot water. Penn State took down his statue today." –David Letterman 

"Tampa could be hit by Hurricane Isaac, and they might have to cancel or postpone the Republican National Convention. A hurricane headed directly for the Republicans – and more proof that God is a woman." –David Letterman





"Today Todd Akin was named Democratic Party Employee of the Month." –David Letterman



John Hulse painting

Hurricane Todd Akin

"Finding a co-host for Kelly Ripa has been harder than finding Mitt Romney's tax returns." –David Letterman



"It’s National Senior Citizen’s Day, which is not to be confused with National Senior Citizen’s Week — the Republican Convention in Florida." –Jimmy Fallon



"A hurricane could threaten next week’s Republican National Convention in Tampa. It could really hurt Republicans — which explains its name, 'Hurricane Todd Akin.'" –Jimmy Fallon



John Hulse painting

The guy to lead the Republican Party into the 16th century

"Mitt Romney says if he is elected he will create 12 million new jobs in his first year in office – and that's just for people to do his taxes." –Jay Leno



"Mitt Romney has asked Todd Akin to step down. That's too bad. Todd Akin was the guy to lead the Republican Party into the 16th century." –David Letterman 



"Mitt looks like a guy who would be the closer at Beverly Hills Mercedes." –David Letterman

John Hulse painting