This is what I've been waiting for my whole life (I'm running for president)

from March 2011

"Donald Trump came out as a birther, which is Republican for, 'I'm running for president.'" –Lewis Black

‎"Stupid presidents, smart presidents, white presidents, black presidents -- doesn't work! What this country needs is a crazy Third World dictator. And Donald Trump has what it takes to be that. He's already got a plane with his name on it, solid gold buildings, a harem..." –Lewis Black

"This is what I've been waiting for my whole life. A President who's not afraid to tell the truth about being a lying a**hole." –Lewis Black

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Mike Pence Squirms When Faced With Trump's Deplorable Birtherism

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

The floor of a cave called. It wants its bat sh*t back (calm black man)

"The floor of a cave called. It wants its bat sh*t back." --Bill Maher on Rep. Michele Bachmann

"Only 42 percent of Republicans believe Obama was born in the United States. That's an amazing statistic. How come in America Christians are the only ones who won't take anything on faith?" --Bill Maher

"I want to just take a moment to thank the Teabaggers. Thank you so much for helping us pass health care, for resurrecting the Obama presidency. I know they're saying, 'Why are you thanking me? I was so against it, I marched on Washington with tea bags hanging off my Founding Fathers costume, with a gun on my hip and a picture of Obama dressed as Hitler, screaming about his birth certificate.' And America saw that and said, 'I think I'll go with the calm black man.'" --Bill Maher



It is the worst super power ever

"Mitt Romney went birther today. He was in Michigan, were he was born, and he said, 'No one has ever asked to see my birth certificate.' Right, because you weren't born. You have a warranty card." –Bill Maher



"Todd Akin is running for Senate in Missouri and he said if it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways of shutting the whole thing down. And then he made it worse by saying the medical term for this is Pussy Riot." –Bill Maher



"But wait. republican Todd Akin says the female body has ways of shutting this down? Not only is it absurd but it is the worst super power ever." –Bill Maher

John Hulse painting

Could it be because his station wagon was full of wives?

"Mitt Romney is trying to get the Latino vote. He maintains he’s always had a great relationship with the Latinos in his life, as long as they don’t wake him up with the leaf blower." –Bill Maher



"Mitt Romney comes from a Mormon background. I don't know how many wives he has. I'm not saying that I believe in that, I'm just saying he was born on a Mormon compound. I'm not a 'Wifer' but for some reason he's never shown his original marriage certificate." –Bill Maher, counters "Birthers" by creating a Romney 'Wifer' controversy



"Why did Mitt Romney strap his dog to the roof of his car? Could it be because his station wagon was full of wives?" –Bill Maher

John Hulse painting

It proves that in America...

"Between the obesity and the low test scores, you've got to ask yourselves the question,'How fat and dumb do our kids have to get before our teachers stop having sex with them?" –Bill Maher



 

"Speaking of fat and dumb, Donald Trump is in the news. He's gone full-on re-Birther. He said Obama was born in Kenya, and he's having a fundraiser in Las Vegas for Mitt Romney – the first time a major presidential candidate is going be on the stage with a real out-and-out Birther. And this could hurt Romney, not just because he's on the stage with Donald Trump. Because it proves that in America, you can make money in business and still be a total f**king idiot." –Bill Maher



 

"A new biography came out that says that in high school Obama was a huge pothead. Mitt Romney had to respond to this and said, ‘It is appalling that Obama spent his teenage years goofing around and smoking pot when he should have been pinning down gay kids and cutting their hair." –Bill Maher



John Hulse painting