Her magic army of flying monkeys is looking pretty good (theory of gravitas)

"In an interview on 'Entertainment Tonight' this week, Mary Hart was told by Sarah Palin she may run in 2012 if there was no one to do it. That's not how you run for President. That's how you offer to babysit." –Seth Meyers

"While campaigning in Florida this past weekend, Palin also plugged her upcoming reality show Sarah Palin's 'Alaska.' If you haven't seen it, the entire show takes place in Palin's rear view mirror." –Seth Meyers

"Oh, poor, Meg Whitman. She's losing badly. This week we found out that one of her sons was accused of date rape. And we also found out that Jan Brewer, the Governor of Arizona, one of her sons also in a mental hospital for rape. I don't want to judge these women by their children, but Christine O'Donnell's magic army of flying monkeys is looking pretty good." –Bill Maher

"Sarah Palin said this week she would run for President if no one else would do it. I swear to God. And even Karl Rove said he didn't think it was a good idea for Sarah Palin to run for President. He said, he didn't think she has the gravitas. And Sarah said, 'Oh, really. I don't even believe in the theory of gravitas.'" –Bill Maher

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

We're the reason your parents lost your childhood home (Republicans on Rape)

The investment banking firm Goldman Sachs joined Instagram in an attempt to endear themselves to a new generation. Today, Goldman posted a meme that said, "We're the reason your parents lost your childhood home." --Conan O’Brien

At the U.N. today President Trump told world leaders that his administration has accomplished more than any in U.S. history, and the whole audience laughed. Trump was furious — 'cause for a few seconds he accidentally made some foreigners happy. --Conan O’Brien

In his speech at the U.N., Trump also said that Iran's leaders "sow chaos and destruction." Trump then said, "Come on, man. That's MY thing." --Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

You speed-date to make sure you're not talking to a dude (loyalty over integrity)

"Why do I love [Sarah Palin]? She's a reformer. Like when the government wanted to give her this $223 million bridge to nowhere [on screen: Palin saying 'thanks, but no thanks' to the bridge]. She's so polite. Now I know that her detractors will say that she actually supported the bridge until it became a political albatross, and ended up keeping a lot of the money for it anyway, or that she claimed to have visited Iraq when she didn't. 

Or she didn't really sell that plane on eBay, or that she left the town she was mayor of nearly $20 million in debt, or that she made sure that women that were raped in her town were charged for their rape kits. Yeah! That's f**king true. The point is this: shut up. Because you don't speed-date in order to get to know somebody. You speed-date to make sure you're not talking to a dude." --Jon Stewart

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535 #Bernie2020

but his doctor only gave him two-and-a-half (for some reason that's his new issue)

"Well, as you know, the Democratic Convention is being held this week at the Pepsi Center in Denver. Don't confuse that with John McCain's convention next week, that's at the Polygrip Center, that's totally different." --Jay Leno



"Here's a little political fact. Dick Cheney is the first Vice President in eighty years not to run for president. Actually, Cheney did consider four more years, but his doctor only gave him two-and-a-half." --Jay Leno



"And eighty-four year-old Alaskan Senator Ted Stevens won his Senate primary yesterday despite being indicted on corruption charges. He was indicted on corruption charges and he won the primary. He says he wants to get back in the Senate so he can keep working on the new issue most important to him: outlawing prison rape. Yeah, for some reason that's his new issue." --Jay Leno



http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern @justicedems @BrandNew535

Making the environment raped again (Seconds later, he dropped dead)

Analysts are saying that Donald Trump has not read his new healthcare plan and he has actually spent no time getting familiar with it. Their first hint was when he called it “Melania.” –Conan O’Brien

While discussing healthcare, a Republican congressman from Alabama said that people who lead good lives don’t get sick. Seconds later, he dropped dead. –Conan O’Brien

German Chancellor Angela Merkel says she is confident that fake news will not harm her chances in Germany’s election. In fact, Merkel is so confident she’s going to win, she’s not even going to campaign in Wisconsin. –Conan O’Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

New York Times new Op-ed Columnist (crash the plane into a mountain)

Spirit Airlines has scored the lowest customer satisfaction rating in its industry for the third year in a row. Really? Lower than United? What does Spirit Airlines do when their flights are overbooked, just crash the plane into a mountain? –Seth Meyers

Today was National Hug a Plumber Day. Said plumbers, “This doesn’t make up for what you did in there. To be honest, I don’t think I want a hug from you.” –Seth Meyers

Every day, tensions are rising between the United States and our sworn enemy, Canada: Cold Mexico, the Great White North Korea. –Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #JusticeDemocrats

They have narrowed it down the list to all women, everywhere.

"Todd Akin is getting death threats. They have narrowed it down the list to all women, everywhere." –Bill Maher



"I'm not surprised there are people in America who believe things like this. But usually they don't own shoes and they live in an abandoned school bus and they smell like urine. But this guy Todd Akin, he went to college. He can tie a necktie, he doesn't smell like urine. That's the problem with America, we have a bunch of crazy people who clean up good." –Bill Maher



"As much as the Republican establishment wants to denounce Akin and to make him quit, there's very little difference between what he says and what is in his platform. Their platform says no abortion, no exceptions – not for rape, not for incest, not even for Snooki." –Bill Maher

John Hulse painting

It is the worst super power ever

"Mitt Romney went birther today. He was in Michigan, were he was born, and he said, 'No one has ever asked to see my birth certificate.' Right, because you weren't born. You have a warranty card." –Bill Maher



"Todd Akin is running for Senate in Missouri and he said if it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways of shutting the whole thing down. And then he made it worse by saying the medical term for this is Pussy Riot." –Bill Maher



"But wait. republican Todd Akin says the female body has ways of shutting this down? Not only is it absurd but it is the worst super power ever." –Bill Maher

John Hulse painting

Candidates who are legitimately that stupid are less likely to get elected

"The Pennsylvania voter ID law, according to one study will disenfranchise 9% of the entire Pennsylvania electorate. But that's the price you pay for preventing something that doesn't happen." –Jon Stewart

"Todd Akin, the Republican Senate candidate from Missouri, is under fire for his controversial comments that women who are 'legitimately raped are less likely to get pregnant.' The good news? Candidates who are legitimately that stupid are less likely to get elected." –Jay Leno



"Akin announced that he is staying in the race. Is that a surprise? A guy who that so little about a woman's body doesn't know when it's time to pull out." –Jay Leno 

John Hulse painting