she’s expected to serve 17 minutes and win a People’s Choice Award (I played Danny in Grease)

The actress Felicity Huffman was sentenced to 14 days in prison on Friday. The former “Desperate Housewives” star pleaded guilty to mail fraud after paying $15,000 to inflate her daughter’s SAT score.

“O.K., hold on — she said she committed the crime because she was frightened and stupid? I get the stupid part — what were you frightened of? Was the principal at the school, like, ‘Ma’am, your kid’s score is only good enough for the University of Phoenix’?” --Trevor Noah

“And by the way, if the judge let her off lightly because she was all emotional, then that judge is a fool. Because Felicity Huffman is one of the best actors around — getting emotional is her job.” --Trevor Noah

“Now obviously this short sentence has a lot of backlash with people saying Felicity Huffman only got the special treatment because she is an actor. And I don’t know if that’s true, but you know that right now someone out there is being busted with drugs, and they’re like, ‘Your honor, before you render your verdict, I want you to know that in high school, I played Danny in “Grease.”’ --Trevor Noah

“She was sentenced to two weeks but with good behavior she’s expected to serve 17 minutes and win a People’s Choice Award.” --Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I believe that hurricanes are caused by high barometric pressure and not by gay marriage (while wearing handcuffs)

This is interesting. Christina Aguilera admitted that she has sex while wearing handcuffs. Meanwhile Bobby Brown admitted he does everything while wearing handcuffs. --Conan O’Brien 10/20/2004

This is a weird story. The Kellogg's company announced that they are pulling ads for their cereal off of the show Desperate Housewives because the show promotes loose morals. Not only that Kellogg's fired Snap, Crackle and Pop for having a threesome. --Conan O’Brien 10/20/2004

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I swear this has never happened to me before (defective bungee cords)

Boston Red Sox pitcher Pedro Martinez, one of their big aces, is expected to leave Boston to play for the New York Mets. When asked why Pedro said, “I want to get out of professional baseball.” --Conan O’Brien 12/14/2004

The Bernard Kerik scandal is worse since Kerik withdrew his nomination to become Secretary of Homeland Security. It's been revealed that Kerik had a secret marriage, two mistresses and worked for a mafia-related company. As a result Carrick has been given a role on Desperate Housewives. --Conan O’Brien 12/14/2004

The oldest woman in Japan died at the age of one hundred fourteen. And as soon as the funeral is over the family plans to sue the makers of the defective bungee cord. --Conan O’Brien 4/5/2005

Pfizer the company that makes Viagra reported that profits went down six percent last year. Afterwards Pfizer was embarrassed and said, “I swear this has never happened to me before.” --Conan O’Brien 4/5/2005

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

young stud pool boy/he did it for 40 minutes (Look, a car!)

"Fred Thompson's on the show tonight. After leaving the Senate, Fred was a regular for years on 'Law & Order.' That's typical Hollywood typecasting. He's a Republican so Hollywood automatically puts him on 'Law & Order.' See, if he was a Democrat, he would have been the young stud pool boy on 'Desperate Housewives.'" --Jay Leno

"This weekend,  President Bush visited Albania and everywhere his motorcade drove, he was greeted with cheers and applause. The Albanians were really excited, and kept saying, 'Look, a car!'" --Conan O'Brien

"Yesterday, President Bush talked about his immigration bill and said, 'The political process is two steps forward, one step back.' Then Bush said, 'It's just like the Hokey Pokey.' Then he did it for 40 minutes." --Conan O'Brien

A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-

collected-poems-1985-2015.html