He got that wrong (and there's a hint of shame)

Trump's been busy this morning. He published a "USA Today" op-ed about healthcare. A lot of people are saying it had several factual errors. Turns out a pharmacist isn't someone who works on a farm. And shingles isn't a tube of potato chips. That's not -- He got that wrong. --Jimmy Fallon

Get this -- a cheating scandal has rocked the world of wine tasting. That's right. It's rocked the world of wine tasting. A cheating scandal came out that some tasters were given the answers to an exam. The wine tasters say that they are embarrassed, a little humiliated, and there's a hint of shame. --Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Hey, call me when you have one that simulates MAKING one (the spectrum)

A new report suggests that soon, gasoline will be cheaper than water. And in Flint, Michigan, it will be healthier than water. –Conan O’Brien

Nintendo is releasing a video game that lets you simulate taking care of a baby. When they heard this, gamers said, “Hey, call me when you have one that simulates MAKING one.” –Conan O’Brien

Today, Leonardo DiCaprio met with Pope Francis. In terms of number of sexual partners, those two are known as "the spectrum". –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

He's happy to go somewhere where nobody will draw him while he sleeps (He’s going to look like the world’s angriest mime)

Donald Trump also agreed to Joe Biden’s conditions: that the debates would occur without an audience, inside a TV studio with microphones that automatically cut off when a speaker’s time limit elapses. Imagine Trump with his mic cut. He’s going to look like the world’s angriest mime. —Stephen Colbert

The debate over debating is finally over. Just like that, they’re going head to head, toe to toe, mano a mango. — Stephen Colbert

“President Biden is looking forward to laying out his 2024 agenda, while Trump is just happy to go somewhere where nobody will draw him while he sleeps.” — Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Biden is over the moon (for Gil)

Biden is over the moon (for Gil)

The food I can afford

is barely keeping me alive

and Biden is over the moon

no baby formula on the shelves

and Biden is over the moon

The water in Flint still

tastes like hell

and Biden is over the moon

The air in the sky is

starting to smell

and Biden is over the moon

Nothing has fundamentally

changed

with Biden over the moon

Here’s 40 Billion more for Ukraine

and Biden is over the moon

no truth, no peace and no justice

and Biden is over the moon

The press pretends not to notice

that Biden is over the moon

Children in classrooms are being

gunned down

and Biden is over the moon

Nowhere to go but underground

while Biden is over the moon

The price of gas is going up,

corrupt politicians don’t give

a fuck,

and if all that shit wasn’t

enough

Biden is over the moon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

And in Flint, Michigan, it will be healthier than water (the Army’s elite Hacky Sack Corps)

The U.S. Army has officially lifted its ban on soldiers having dreadlocks. This is good news for the Army’s elite Hacky Sack Corps. –Conan O’Brien

A new report suggests that soon, gasoline will be cheaper than water. And in Flint, Michigan, it will be healthier than water. –Conan O’Brien

"Bob Costas had to take a break from hosting the Olympics coverage due to an eye infection. In fact, his eyes are so bloodshot, he's been made an honorary member of the U.S. snowboarding team." –Conan O'Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Biden is over the moon (for Gil) - poem by John Hulse

Biden is over the moon (for Gil)

The food I can afford

is barely keeping me alive

and Biden is over the moon

no baby formula on the shelves

and Biden is over the moon

The water in Flint still

tastes like hell

and Biden is over the moon

The air in the sky is

starting to smell

and Biden is over the moon

Nothing has fundamentally

changed

with Biden over the moon

Here’s 40 Billion more for Ukraine

and Biden is over the moon

no truth, no peace and no justice

and Biden is over the moon

The press pretends not to notice

that Biden is over the moon

Children in classrooms are being

gunned down

and Biden is over the moon

Nowhere to go but underground

while Biden is over the moon

The price of gas is going up,

corrupt politicians don’t give

a fuck,

and if all that shit wasn’t

enough

Biden is over the moon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

but brother that chili was traveling at the same speed (pipelines)

“The makers of Aunt Jemima products which have been criticized for using racist imagery are finally changing the name to Pearl Milling Company. Pearl Milling is the name of the white lady who owned Aunt Jemima.” —Michael Che

“This week Jeb Bush said that he would go back in time and kill Adolf Hitler as a baby, a move that would have left Germany in the weak bumbling hands of Adolf’s brother Jeb Hitler.” —Michael Che

“A conductor of a bullet train is facing disciplinary action after he left the controls to use the bathroom while the train was traveling at nearly 100 miles an hour, but brother that chili was traveling at the same speed.” —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I'll never forget the day my dad started building our fourth beach house (septic tank issues)

An exact replica of the Titanic is scheduled to set sail in 2018. The good news is by 2018, there will be no icebergs left to sink it. –Conan O’Brien

Kanye West tweeted that Bill Cosby is innocent. So finally, a reason for people to dislike Kanye West. –Conan O’Brien

“Mitt Romney is trying hard to connect with voters. He seems like he's too affluent. Romney was talking about his father's humble beginnings as a carpenter. He said, ‘I'll never forget the day my dad started building our fourth beach house.’” –Conan O’Brien

A new report suggests that soon, gasoline will be cheaper than water. And in Flint, Michigan, it will be healthier than water. –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Biden is over the moon (for Gil) - poem

Biden is over the moon (for Gil)

The food I can afford

Is barely keeping me alive

And Biden is over the moon

No baby formula on the shelves

And Biden is over the moon

The water in Flint still

Tastes like hell

And Biden is over the moon

The air in the sky is

Starting to smell

And Biden is over the moon

Nothing has fundamentally

Changed

With Biden over the moon

Here’s 40 Billion more for Ukraine

And Biden is over the moon

No truth, no peace and no justice

And Biden is over the moon

The press pretends not to notice

That Biden is over the moon

Children in classrooms are being

Gunned down

And Biden is over the moon

Nowhere to go but underground

While Biden is over the moon

The price of gas is going up

Corrupt politicians don’t give

A fuck

And if all that shit wasn’t

Enough

Biden is over the moon

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I think it wants to be burned — it’s seen too much (What Russia Didn't Do)

April 2021

“Matt Gaetz has denied any wrongdoing, but sources say that just before the previous president left office, Gaetz asked for a blanket pardon. Oh, I don’t think the blanket wants a pardon; I think it wants to be burned — it’s seen too much.” —Stephen Colbert

“Despite the ongoing investigation, Matt Gaetz is slated to speak at an event hosted by Women for America First, a group of ‘diehard MAGA loyalists’ who helped organize the pro-Trump rally on 6 January that devolved into the attack on the Capitol. Gaetz’s speech will be part of an ‘Americana’-themed dinner featuring ‘BBQ, Boots & Bluegrass’ – not to be confused with Gaetz’s usual theme of molly, minors and mandatory minimums.” —Stephen Colbert

“Amid criticism, the group defended the decision to book Gaetz and called him a ‘fearless leader in DC’. Yes, Gaetz fears nothing! Except the parents of whoever he’s texting.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Top Ten Ways Mitt Romney Begins Conversations With Teens (Didn't I fire your father?)

April 2012

David Letterman's "Top Ten Ways Mitt Romney Begins Conversations With Teens" 

10. "How's puberty going?"
9. "Where do you summer?"
8. "Do you fellows play sportball?"
7. "Nice shirt — you know, my friend owns the Gap"
6. "You teens are just the right height"
5. "Check out my sick Windsor knot"
4. "Would you like to see my dancing horse?"
3. "Raise the roof if your municipal bonds have reached maturity"
2. Just like this: (video of Mitt saying "Who let the dogs out?")
1. "Didn't I fire your father?"

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html

“A poet that belongs with the Masters. A magisterial collection. A combination of 

Bukowski’s The Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Russia didn't poison our water in Flint (because the rioters also pooped on your rugs)

January 2021

“I’m all for unity, as long as its reciprocal. He then addressed Republicans directly: What’s your outreach to the other side? You’ve got to ante up. You don’t get to stay in the game if you don’t toss in a chip of good faith. The other side is going to stop this from happening again by getting rid of the guy who caused it. What are you willing to do to help? Because so far, you have done nothing. They were simply certifying a free and fair election, an election that you knew was free and fair but you lied about it anyway, because you wanted the campaign cash and those eyeballs, and you were afraid to make your boss and his Maga monster mad. Your lies legitimized the fantasies of a violent, anti-democratic mob that nearly got you and your colleagues killed, and did get a policeman murdered. Now you want to use your hollow calls for unity to sweep it all under the rug? Well good luck with that, brother, because the rioters also pooped on your rugs.” —Stephen Colbert

“With eight days left of our human missile crisis, there were reports that Trump was unreachable to calls for help from lawmakers during the Capitol siege because he was glued to footage of the riot on TV, the same way our three-year-old reacts when his grandparents try to Facetime during Paw Patrol. That’s why he calls himself the law and order president – he spends all day watching episodes of it.” —Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The opposite of Donald Trump is... (he’s not even halfway there)

“Yesterday, Tim Ryan’s campaign tweeted out a new campaign motto, ‘You don’t have to yell.’ Congressman Ryan, you don’t have to run.” --Stephen Colbert

“We just learned that Jon Bon Jovi will host a Cory Booker fund-raiser at his Hamptons home. Makes sense, makes sense. After all, Booker’s campaign is living on a prayer. And Booker really needs that fund-raiser because since he is polling below 2 percent, he’s not even halfway there.” --Stephen Colbert

“Oh, lead poisoning is a huge problem here. It’s so bad that some people completely lose touch with reality and think they can be elected president.” --Stephen Colbert, on Bill de Blasio’s likening New York City’s lead exposure scandal to the tainted water in Flint, Mich.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. The opposite of Donald Trump is a black woman who has spell-check.” --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”