He definitely radiated a ‘special energy.’ (100 rats in a trench coat)

New York City’s mayor, Eric Adams, has had a challenging start to his week, with four of his eight deputy mayors announcing their resignations. Adams’s controversies stopped being funny and started becoming hilarious. The resignations were from the first deputy mayor, deputy mayor for health and human services, deputy mayor for operations, and deputy mayor for public safety. So, at this point, the city is evidently being run by the remaining deputy mayor: 100 rats in a trench coat.” — Stephen Colbert

The resignations came after several federal prosecutors in the Southern District of New York quit, having come under pressure from the Trump administration to drop charges in the mayor’s corruption case. That takes courage. Thankfully, all these lawyers found jobs at the new firm of Wegot, Balls & Howe. — Stephen Colbert

Mayor Adams has been involved in controversy for years now. For instance, while he was running to be the mayor of New York, no one could tell if he lived in New York or New Jersey; once he became mayor, he appointed, and later had to remove, his brother as deputy police commissioner. He announced a personal war on rats, introduced a Times Square RoboCop that failed as a police officer but thrived as a public urinal, and claims that the Big Apple is littered with unique crystals that give out a special energy. Yes, in fact, I saw a gentleman enjoying some of those unique crystals in the Port Authority bathroom yesterday. He definitely radiated a ‘special energy.’ — Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The agent has since been transferred to the Imperial Stormtroopers (Neither side is the answer)

According to a house report on Trump's attempted assassin Ryan Ruth, a secret service agent may have been only five feet away when he fired six times at Ruth and missed him every time. The agent has since been transferred to the Imperial Stormtroopers. —Tom Shillue     

New York city mayor Eric Adams met with incoming border czar Tom Holman to discuss the migrant crisis, pressures on infrastructure and challenges for law enforcement, barely leaving them enough time for a romantic Central Park carriage ride. —Tom Shillue 

This week Elizabeth Warren said that the murder of United Healthcare CEO Brian Thompson was wrong but people can only be pushed so far, which is the same thing Jill Biden says when approaching a staircase with her husband. —Tom Shillue   

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

This is why five out of five scientists warn the world to never interview Joy Behar (Eric Adams is urging New Yorkers to get busy urinating)

It snowed in New York City last night. To melt it mayor Eric Adams is urging New Yorkers to get busy urinating. —Greg Gutfeld

New research shows that AI can recreate your personality simply by interviewing you for just two hours, which may then live on after you die. This is why five out of five scientists warn the world to never interview Joy Behar. —Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Which I hope is finally enough money for her to stop texting me (Ellis Island Award)

It was also reported that during the first three months of her campaign, Kamala Harris raised over $1 billion. Which I hope is finally enough money for her to stop texting me. —Colin Jost

Both the Mets and Yankees have advanced to the league championship round, setting up a potential Subway Series. That would be so awesome. It would be the only thing anyone in New York City would care about, right? Said Mayor Adams. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The only person who can control the weather is Beyoncé (Put your filthy little worker hands together for...)

Elon Musk made an appearance on stage at a Donald Trump rally in Pennsylvania this weekend. That’s gotta be a little confusing for Trump voters. [imitating Trump] ‘I’m fighting for the little guy, and you know how much I hate immigrants, so please welcome an immigrant who makes more money in one second than you’ll make in your entire worthless lives. Put your filthy little worker hands together for your South African oligarch god, Elon Musk!’ —Stephen Colbert  

And a sixth member of Eric Adams’s administration has resigned. Who’s even left at this point? At this rate, his communications director is just going to be a Times Square Dora. —Seth Meyers

There are weather conspiracy theories where people believe that the government can control the weather and is responsible for these hurricanes. . Listen, dummies, the government can’t control the weather. The only person who can control the weather is Beyoncé. —Jimmy Kimmel

“The polls say the election is a tossup. It might ultimately come down to which candidate can deliver a new R.V. to Clarence Thomas first.” — Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Clear hearts, blue eyes, green clovers, purple horseshoes, go fish, yahtzee! (That can’t be right)

“Yep, Eric Adams is the first sitting mayor of New York City to be indicted. It’s shocking. When Rudy Giuliani heard that, he was, like, ‘That can’t be right.’” — Jimmy Fallon   

Kamala Harris’s running mate, the Minnesota governor, Tim Walz, is reportedly less comfortable in a debate setting than on the campaign trail, and is anxious about letting Harris down. Hey, buddy! We’re not going to win with that kind of attitude. (Nodding to Walz’s past as a high school football coach.) Bring it in, coach! Sounds like you need one of your signature pre-game talks. Look, buddy, I want you to get out there, I want you to hunker down and find that extra gear, leave 110% of the pigskin on the fourth and down. Clear hearts, blue eyes, green clovers, purple horseshoes, go fish, yahtzee! —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

We are not surprised. We expected this, you know, because of all the bribery (You don't have to put on the red light...)

On Friday, New York mayor Eric Adams surrendered to federal authorities and was arraigned on corruption and bribery charges, where he pleaded, “Don't hate the player, hate the game.” After he was charged, he said, “We are not surprised. We expected this, you know, because of all the bribery.” —Michael Che

Former New York Governor Andrew Cuomo is reportedly already interested in running for mayor. Damn, he moves faster than Covid through a nursing home. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

And I speak for all New Yorkers when I say, that sounds pretty low (birthdays)

February 2022

This week the FDA granted the first condom approved for anal sex. It took them this long because their wives would only let them test it on their birthdays. —Michael Che

A new book claims that while Donald Trump was president White House staff routinely found wads of paper clogging the toilet. So either he tried to flush classified documents, or he eats the wrappers. —Michael Che

In the days after New York City mayor Eric Adams announced the new plan to stop violence in the city’s transit system, six people were stabbed on the subway. And I speak for all New Yorkers when I say, that sounds pretty low. —Michael Che

A dog in California that went missing 12 years ago was found and returned to her owner. After spending more than a decade living at Dave’s Taxidermy Shop. —Michael Che

 This year marks the 50th anniversary of one of Marvel Comics first black superheroes, Luke Cage. In the comics Luke Cage faces off against black people’s most powerful enemy of the 1970s, Lead Paint. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”