The major failure of Mike Pence’s time-tested political strategy (An attitude we in the Biz call “The Melania.”)

Earlier this week Donald Trump hosted a 2020 strategy meeting with his advisers. Among the topics discussed was whether Mike Pence should remain on the ticket. If he gets dropped, that will be a major failure of Mike Pence’s time-tested political strategy: Be so boring people forget you exist. --Stephen Colbert

Word is, Trump’s pick for Attorney General, William Barr, having already been Attorney General, doesn’t feel a particular ambition for the job. But he’ll take it. An attitude we in the Biz call “The Melania.” --Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I will never be sober again (faking it)

Michael Cohen’s lawyers argued that in exchange for his cooperation with Mueller, Cohen should be spared prison for crimes he committed in an “abundance of enthusiasm for Trump.” So unlike the women he paid off for Trump, Cohen wasn’t faking it. --Stephen Colbert

Audience, I’m worried that once they make self-driving cars, I will never be sober again. --Stephen Colbert

Word is, Trump’s pick for Attorney General, William Barr, having already been Attorney General, doesn’t feel a particular ambition for the job. But he’ll take it. An attitude we in the Biz call “The Melania.” --Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

His time-tested political strategy: Be so boring people forget you exist (An attitude we in the Biz call “The Melania.”)

Word is, Trump’s pick for Attorney General, William Barr, having already been Attorney General, doesn’t feel a particular ambition for the job. But he’ll take it. An attitude we in the Biz call “The Melania.” --Stephen Colbert

Michael Cohen’s lawyers argued that in exchange for his cooperation with Robert Mueller, Cohen should be spared prison for crimes he committed in an “abundance of enthusiasm for Trump.” So unlike the women he paid off for Trump, Cohen wasn’t faking it. --Stephen Colbert

Earlier this week Trump hosted a 2020 strategy meeting with his advisers. Among the topics discussed was whether Mike Pence should remain on the ticket. If he gets dropped, that will be a major failure of Mike Pence’s time-tested political strategy: Be so boring people forget you exist. --Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Mitch McConnell sold his soul for nothing. So, a pretty fair price (What do you think we value more?)

June 2021

“In typical Trump fashion, he also badly mispronounced some words. At one point, while attempting to reference the first man on the moon, Neil Armstrong, Trump said the US ‘sent a brave young man from Ohio to a plant.’ Really? To a plant? Yes, he was a brave young man from Ohio named Jack, and the nation sent him to climb that beanstalk, where he skyrocketed to Feefifofum. He’s trying to talk about Neil Armstrong, but he said plant when he meant planet, which is not where Neil Armstrong went. That’s like trying to describe George Washington by saying, ‘You know who I mean! The guy on the money with the teeth made out of the cherry tree, with the painting of him crossing the Deli-meats, you know!’” —Stephen Colbert

“In other news, Trump’s former attorney general William Barr continues to publicly distance himself from his former boss. In an interview with the Atlantic published over the weekend, Barr claimed that he always thought Trump’s baseless claims of election fraud were ‘all bullshit’. And Bill Barr should know – he spent the last two years with his lips very close to that bull’s ass.” —Stephen Colbert

“William Barr also said that Mitch McConnell urged him to speak out against the big lie of voting fraud in the immediate aftermath of the election, while the Senate minority leader remained mum himself. McConnell would’ve spoken the truth himself last December, but he needed the former president’s help to ensure that the GOP won the two runoff elections in Georgia, which they lost. In the end, Mitch McConnell sold his soul for nothing. So, a pretty fair price.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

like he’s offering hors d’oeuvres at a party (it’s as clear as it could it possibly be)

July 2020

“On Thursday President Trump used Twitter to decry mail-in voting – a standard practice for state elections – and to ‘Delay the Election until people can properly, securely and safely vote???’ Oh great, so not only is he casually suggesting incinerating American democracy, he’s doing it like he’s offering hors d’oeuvres at a party. 

Though the president does not have the power to move an election – that is entrusted by the constitution to Congress – it’s not enough to just consult your pocket constitution, shrug off the president’s tweet and move on, satisfied that we’ve outmaneuvered him with a factcheck. 

That’s because the craven husks around Trump are already laying the groundwork for Trump to do exactly what he wants to do, law be damned. For example, the attorney general, William Barr, was asked at a congressional hearing this week whether the president had the power to move an election. It’s as straightforward a legal question as you could possibly get, yet Barr treated the matter as a mystery, saying he had ‘never looked into it’. 

The secretary of state, Mike Pompeo, when asked the same question at a separate hearing by Senator Tim Kaine on Thursday, said the department of justice ‘will make that legal determination’. No, they won’t. It’s in the constitution and federal law – it’s as clear as it could it possibly be.  

The press seems to be relying on reassurances from other Republicans, such as the Senate majority leader, Mitch McConnell, that the election will occur as scheduled. Stop giving them credit for that. That’s not a courageous stand, it’s just the bare minimum. Just because the bar is all the way on the floor doesn’t mean we have to give him credit for stepping over it.” —Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Seriously, get out of there. You’re doing a terrible job (the incubation room)

“The White House ordered West Wing staff members to wear masks on Monday after a military valet and Katie Miller, a spokeswoman for Mike Pence and the wife of the presidential adviser Stephen Miller, tested positive for Covid-19. Although Trump, Pence, and senior members of their administration have declined to isolate themselves, Dr. Anthony Fauci and two other top administration health officials decided to self-quarantine for the next two weeks. Mr. President, the virus is calling from inside the house — get out of there! Seriously, get out of there. You’re doing a terrible job.” —Stephen Colbert

“No, Dr. Fauci, don’t self-quarantine, we need you. If you’re not around, all the health decisions are going to be made by Jared Kushner, the MyPillow guy, and William Barr in a sexy nurse costume.” —Stephen Colbert

“This is super serious. Katie Miller has attended nearly all of the White House coronavirus task force meetings in the situation room, which they’ve now temporarily rechristened ‘the incubation room.’” —Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

That’s why everyone in Holland is dead (Dragons did some stuff. The End)

It’s been a great week for everybody, especially Donald Trump. I meant to say horrible week, because the democrats in congress have demanded his tax returns, his financial records and the full Mueller Report. To embarrass him next, they’re going to ask him what his children’s birthdays are. --Stephen Colbert

During a recent speech President Trump claimed that windmills cause cancer. Of course they do. That’s why everyone in Holland is dead. --Stephen Colbert

Trump’s Attorney General William Barr summarized the 400 page Mueller Report in just three and a half pages. It’s like tuning in to see the new season of Game of Thrones and it’s just Barr holding a sign that says, “Dragons did some stuff. The End.” --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

That’s refreshing. Usually he pays real women to say nothing (It's not jail, it's a gated community)

So William Barr didn't want to be Trump's lawyer. No respectable lawyer does. That's why Trump is stuck with outer borough ambulance chasers like Rudy Giuliani. They probably just follow him when he goes out for a walk. --Seth Meyers

Think about how much their argument has changed. It went from there were no contacts with Russians, to there was no collusion with Russians to we tried to collude, but nothing came of it, to collusion is not a crime to there was collusion, but it didn't involve Trump. If this keeps going, Rudy is going to be telling Trump, "It's not jail, it's a gated community." --Seth Meyers

Trump’s lawyer Michael Cohen asked a consulting firm to create a Twitter account called @WomenForCohen. Which claimed to be run by women who love and support Michael Cohen. So he paid fake women to say nice things. That’s refreshing. Usually he pays real women to say nothing. --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Not to be confused with the Miracle on the East River where a man swam all the way across without dissolving (Crime isn't even illegal!)

Attorney General nominee William Barr said today that it would be a crime for the president to offer someone a pardon in exchange for a promise not to incriminate him. And then, Rudy Giuliani went on CNN to say, "Crime isn't even illegal!" --Seth Meyers

Today was the 10th anniversary of the Miracle on the Hudson, when a U.S. Airways jet successfully made an emergency landing in the Hudson River. Not to be confused with the Miracle on the East River where a man swam all the way across without dissolving. --Seth Meyers

Irish fast-food chain Supermac's won a case against McDonald's today which will prevent McDonald's from using a trademark on the Big Mac, because in Ireland, one out of every three people is named "Big Mac." --Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Congratulate me! I didn’t eat nachos off the casket! (Be so boring people forget you exist)

Earlier this week Trump hosted a 2020 strategy meeting with his advisers. Among the topics discussed was whether Mike Pence should remain on the ticket. If he gets dropped, that will be a major failure of Mike Pence’s time-tested political strategy: Be so boring people forget you exist. Pence is a manila envelope taped to a beige wall. --Stephen Colbert

Word is, Trump’s pick for Attorney General, William Barr, having already been Attorney General, doesn’t feel a particular ambition for the job. But he’ll take it. An attitude we in the Biz call “The Melania.” --Stephen Colbert

According to administration officials, Trump has been snappish with aides most of the week. Miffed in part by so many ceremonial events not related to him. Aides added that Trump was impatient for the memorials to end, but expressed pride in himself for remaining publicly civil. That’s how far we’ve fallen. We’ve gone from “1,000 points of light” to “Congratulate me! I didn’t eat nachos off the casket!” --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”