Plus, if you make it all the way up to the fifth level, Mexico pays for it (and most of all, not having sex)

Former Real World cast member Davis Mallory claims he isn't gay anymore and posted pictures of his girlfriend. The couple reportedly loves rollerblading, going to musicals, and most of all, not having sex. —Joe Mackey 

The White House launched a mega themed video game where players can build the border wall. Plus, if you make it all the way up to the fifth level, Mexico pays for it. —Joe Mackey 

A Staten Island man survived being struck by lightning. Not only did he survive, but he now loves Puerto Ricans. —Joe Mackey 

15 colleges now cost more than $100,000 per year. As a result, students have no choice but to take out loans to pay for their drugs. —Joe Mackey 

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

 “A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

But like I keep telling everyone, it's not a public bathroom (I was told there'd be Epstein Files)

A federal judge on Friday ordered ICE agents in Minnesota not to retaliate against peaceful protesters. But if ICE agents listen to judges, then their ex-wives would be getting those checks for child support. —Colin Jost

The American Institute of Architects has given an Outstanding Architectural Design Award to a public bathroom in Staten Island. But like I keep telling everyone, it's not a public bathroom. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Oh look, it’s the garbage’s birthday! (Jimmy Buffett was never this relaxed)

In one of several interviews after his conviction for multiple election fraud felonies last week, Donald Trump said that the trial was tougher on his family than it was on him. Yeah, no kidding. Not only did it not keep you up at night, it didn’t keep you up during the day. Jimmy Buffett was never this relaxed. —Seth Meyers

There are new tensions between North and South Korea; in response to pamphlets critical of Kim Jong-un dropped by South Korea in North Korea, Pyongyang sent balloons filled with cigarette butts, scraps of paper and other trash. This is like what neighbors in Staten Island do to each other. This is one of the most juvenile international disputes of all time. If North Korea sent a thousand trash balloons to LA, we’d have no idea – ‘Oh look, it’s the garbage’s birthday!’ —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

And every single time it turns out they lied (Prince Harry's drag name)

To understand this, I live in Staten Island where, you know, up until now, washing your hands before dinner was known as coming out of the closet. —Pete Davidson

A popular new food item among people staying at home is whipped strawberry milk. Incidentally, "whipped strawberry milk" is also Prince Harry's drag name. —Colin Jost

Tuesday was National Beer Day, which was the first time alcohol has ever helped me remember what day it is. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Sometimes it's OK to just let go (Rat Czar)

April 2023

President Biden traveled to Ireland this week and is being called the most Irish president since Kennedy. And in fact, Biden has so much Irish blood that he doesn’t need a drink to slur his words. —Michael Che

Republican senator Tim Scott of South Carolina announced the launch of an exploratory committee for a 2024 presidential run. That name again is Tim Scott, as in Tim’s got no chance of being the nominee. —Michael Che

Two 81 year old women have traveled the world in 80 days after the Post Office lost their ashes. —Michael Che

Kathleen Corradi was announced as New York City’s first Rat Czar, a title that was formerly known as Ms. Staten Island. —Michael Che

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I just love that New York has the same policy as the prostitute in Pretty Woman (If he goes, we all go)

You to understand this I live in Staten Island where, you know, up until now, washing your hands before dinner was known as "coming out of the closet.” —Pete Davidson

Everyone who isn't a flat-earther is isolating at home right now which means you're either having the most sex in your life or you're like me who can now identify any porn star by the back of her head. —Pete Davidson

It turns out people out there are still trying to hook up I saw where the city even had to put out a pamphlet last month called sex and the coronavirus 19. It says you could have sex but don't kiss anyone. I just love that New York has the same policy as the prostitute in Pretty Woman. —Pete Davidson

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

If he’s willing to be known for the rest of his career as the Staten Island Fairy (my favorite president, George Jefferson)

June 2011

"Have you seen these Republican presidential candidates? I bet Obama is sorry now that he spent all that money on the new birth certificate." –David Letterman

"A new survey found that 87 percent of high school seniors are less than proficient in U.S. history. Not me. In fact, when I was a senior, I did a 10-page paper on my favorite president, George Jefferson." –Jimmy Fallon 

"It turns out that 70 percent of guns found in Mexico actually come from the U.S. Meanwhile, 70 percent of people found in the U.S. actually come from Mexico." –Jimmy Fallon

"One more vote is needed in the N.Y. State Senate to legalize gay marriage. That one vote could be the Republican Senator from Staten Island. If he’s willing to be known for the rest of his career as the Staten Island Fairy." –Jon Stewart

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”