It has a 24-hour doorman and a 24-hour pharmacy (because otherwise it would have been weird)

"Rush Limbaugh just sold his penthouse in New York for $11 million. The apartment is amazing. It has a 24-hour doorman and a 24-hour pharmacy." –Jimmy Fallon

Last night, Toys R Us officially filed for bankruptcy after falling $5 billion in debt. I guess they tried to pay it off, but the bank said, "This is Monopoly money." –Jimmy Fallon

New documents reveal that when Vincent Van Gogh cut off his ear, the woman he sent it to was a cleaner, not a prostitute as previously thought. You know, because otherwise it would have been weird. –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You know, because otherwise it would have been weird (he’s the brother nobody wants to talk about)

In a recent interview, Jeb Bush compared Donald Trump to the Kardashians, saying, quote, “The Kardashians wouldn’t exist if we didn’t enjoy watching them.” When asked who his favorite Kardashian is, Jeb said, “Rob – 'cuz he’s the brother nobody wants to talk about.” –Jimmy Fallon

New documents reveal that when Vincent Van Gogh cut off his ear, the woman he sent it to was a cleaner, not a prostitute as previously thought. You know, because otherwise it would have been weird. –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

There are two ways to be fooled (because otherwise it would have been weird)

In a recent interview, Jeb Bush compared Donald Trump to the Kardashians, saying, quote, “The Kardashians wouldn’t exist if we didn’t enjoy watching them.” When asked who his favorite Kardashian is, Jeb said, “Rob – 'cuz he’s the brother nobody wants to talk about.” –Jimmy Fallon

It’s being reported that Donald Trump’s list of running mates is now down to just two people! And they are Chris Christie. –Jimmy Fallon

New documents reveal that when Vincent Van Gogh cut off his ear, the woman he sent it to was a cleaner, not a prostitute as previously thought. You know, because otherwise it would have been weird. –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

JOKES: No New Texans/Brown v. Orange/inheriting their father’s business

During an interview yesterday, Trump adviser Kellyanne Conway compared Donald Trump to Jesus. That's right, two guys who started out by inheriting their father’s business. –Conan O’Brien

California Gov. Jerry Brown said if he has to he will fight Donald Trump in court on climate change. Experts say it will be the landmark case of Brown v. Orange. –Conan O’Brien

An art gallery in Finland recently put on an exhibition of paintings created by a brown bear named Juuso. The exhibition sold 15 of the bear's paintings, raising $8,500. Fifteen paintings — that is 14 more paintings than Van Gogh sold in his entire lifetime. –James Corden

Tim Tebow is scheduled to speak at next week's Republican Convention (otherwise it would have been weird)

Donald Trump is expected to officially announce his running mate at an event tomorrow and all week reports said it was down to three finalists: Mike Pence, Chris Christie, or those two candidates combined, Newt Gingrich. –Jimmy Fallon

Former quarterback Tim Tebow is scheduled to speak at next week's Republican Convention. Trump was even going to have Tebow throw his signature hats into the crowd, but he wasn't sure they'd make it. –Jimmy Fallon

New documents reveal that when Vincent Van Gogh cut off his ear, the woman he sent it to was a cleaner, not a prostitute as previously thought. You know, because otherwise it would have been weird. –Jimmy Fallon