Wow, you too? (I shouldn't have to explain this one)

"Yesterday, Nicki Minaj revealed that in her new song, she only sarcastically endorsed Mitt Romney. Or as Republicans put it, 'Wow, you too?'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Actually, members of Mitt Romney's own party are starting to criticize him for being too vague. When asked if that bothers him, Romney said, 'Maybe.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"A new CNN poll shows that President Obama now has a six-point lead over Mitt Romney. You can tell Romney's depressed – last night he just sat on his couch and bought the Häagen-Dazs corporation." –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.” 

 

Or as Republicans put it, 'Wow, you too?' (last night he just sat on his couch and bought the Häagen-Dazs corporation)

Last night, Toys R Us officially filed for bankruptcy after falling $5 billion in debt. I guess they tried to pay it off, but the bank said, "This is Monopoly money." –Jimmy Fallon

"Yesterday, Nicki Minaj revealed that in her new song, she only sarcastically endorsed Mitt Romney. Or as Republicans put it, 'Wow, you too?'" –Jimmy Fallon

"A new CNN poll shows that President Obama now has a six-point lead over Mitt Romney. You can tell Romney's depressed – last night he just sat on his couch and bought the Häagen-Dazs corporation." –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

when you try to fill a briefcase with unlimited breadsticks (Nicki Minaj’s cousin’s friend’s swollen balls)

September 2021

“One way you can tell that the Republican Party is intellectually bankrupt is that they spend very little time talking about policy and a lot more time talking about bat [expletive] conspiracy theories they concocted out of nowhere. It’s so hard to keep up with the right-wing rumor mill that sometimes I’ll only find out about one after it’s been debunked. Yesterday I was scrolling through Twitter and saw a Snopes headline that said, ‘No, Joe Biden is not a Westworld Robot Created by George Soros to Steal Your Hamburgers,’ and I thought, ‘Oh, right, I forgot to tape “Judge Jeanine” last night.’” —Seth Meyers

“So, the left is focused on trying to pass a far-reaching bill that would transform child care, expand the social safety net and tackle climate change, among other things, and what’s the MAGA crowd doing? Are they offering any alternative solutions? Or are they asking Eric Trump about Nicki Minaj’s cousin’s friend’s swollen balls?” —Seth Meyers

“I will say this, though: If cable news ever gets boring for Tucker, he’d make a hell of an improviser because my man knows how to heighten. [Imitating Carlson] If they can force you take a vaccine, what can’t they force you to do? Can they force you to take psychotropic meds? Make you wear a seatbelt? Make you put your shoes on at Olive Garden even though they tell you, ‘When you’re here, you’re family?’ And then when you try to fill a briefcase with unlimited breadsticks, can they call security?” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

uncovering the mystery of Nicki Minaj’s cousin’s friend’s balls (I’m gonna try putting in more quarters)

September 2021

“[Imitating SpaceX passenger] Houston, we have a problem, but I have no idea what the problem is, since I own a chain of laundromats. I have already cleaned the lint trap. I’m gonna try putting in more quarters.” —Stephen Colbert

“But you have to love humans — we just launched four civilians into orbit on a recreational spaceflight. We’re still more interested in uncovering the mystery of Nicki Minaj’s cousin’s friend’s balls.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Nicki Minaj ignited a firestorm online when she tweeted on Monday that she wasn’t vaccinated because her cousin’s friend in Trinidad developed swollen testicles from a Covid vaccine. I know a lot has been said about this tweet, but here’s my question: more than 5.81 million doses have been administered worldwide – if it gives you big balls, how come this is the first we’re hearing about it? No one is shy about their big balls – it literally means you’re not shy! If the vaccine gave you huge balls, CVS would be jammed with college kids getting their eighth and ninth booster shots.” —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Is anyone here someone’s cousin’s friend? (Will You Free My Palestine)

September 2021

“The Nicki Minaj tweet ignited a firestorm online, in which she claimed she wasn’t vaccinated because her cousin’s friend in Trinidad developed swollen testicles from a Covid vaccine. Of course, your cousin’s friend is a much more trusted source than all of the world’s doctors. That’s why in an emergency you always hear a man yelling, ‘Is anyone here someone’s cousin’s friend?’” —Stephen Colbert

“Outrage over Minaj’s claims and vaccine skepticism prompted Trinidad and Tobago’s minister of health to respond in a press conference: ‘There is absolutely no reported such side-effect of … testicular swelling in Trinidad, nor that we know of anywhere else in the world.’ Wait a second, sir, are you calling Nicki Minaj a liar? Because to do that takes some … wait a second.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The war is meant to be continuous (What have you been doing to your balls?)

September 2021

“After she announced that she has not received the coronavirus vaccine, rapper Nicki Minaj tweeted yesterday that a friend of her cousin received the shot and became impotent after, quote, ‘his testicles became swollen.’ Which is pretty shocking, because when I got the shot, it was in my arm.” —Seth Meyers

“I can’t believe I have to say this, but doctors agree that Covid vaccines do not cause swollen testicles. But to be fair to Dr. Minaj, everyone knows there’s no source more reliable than your extended family’s acquaintances in another country.” —Stephen Colbert

“Her report comes straight from ‘The New England Journal of my cousin’s friend in Trinidad.’ Just check out this week’s study, ‘I heard his girlfriend got pregnant from a hot tub.’” —Stephen Colbert

“Can we talk a moment about this poor guy. Think about it: He’s minding his own business with his swollen testicles in Trinidad and because his best friend happens to be cousins with Nicki Minaj — now the whole world knows that he’s impotent, he got dumped and he’s got giant testicles. He must be so mad at his friend.” —Trevor Noah

“I mean that poor guy — single, swollen and everyone is asking them if he can hook them up with Nicki Minaj tickets.” —Trevor Noah

“And for this friend, hate to say it, if your testicles swell up, the question isn’t ‘Did you get a vaccine recently?’ it’s ‘What have you been doing to your balls?’” —Jimmy Kimmel

“By the way, if anyone can track down this friend of Nicki’s cousin, I would really like to talk to him — I have questions.” —Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Last night he just sat on his couch and bought the Häagen-Dazs corporation (Wow, you too?)

September 2012

"A new CNN poll shows that President Obama now has a six-point lead over Mitt Romney. You can tell Romney's depressed – last night he just sat on his couch and bought the Häagen-Dazs corporation." –Jimmy Fallon

"A recent poll found that most Americans believe President Obama would be a more loyal friend than Mitt Romney. In other words, Obama is the guy holding your hair back in the bathroom while Romney uploads the drunk photos to Facebook." –Jimmy Fallon

"Yesterday, Nicki Minaj revealed that in her new song, she only sarcastically endorsed Mitt Romney. Or as Republicans put it, 'Wow, you too?'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Actually, members of Mitt Romney's own party are starting to criticize him for being too vague. When asked if that bothers him, Romney said, 'Maybe.'" –Jimmy Fallon

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Is it me or is Mitt Romney getting desperate?

"Yesterday, Nicki Minaj revealed that in her new song, she only sarcastically endorsed Mitt Romney. Or as Republicans put it, 'Wow, you too?'" –Jimmy Fallon



"Actually, members of Mitt Romney's own party are starting to criticize him for being too vague. When asked if that bothers him, Romney said, 'Maybe.'" –Jimmy Fallon



"Early this morning in Los Angeles police were involved with a high-speed chase with a suspect drawing a crowd by throwing money out the window. Is it me or is Mitt Romney getting desperate?" –Conan O'Brien



"Over the weekend Mitt Romney made an appearance at a NASCAR race in Virginia. There was an awkward moment when he asked a NASCAR driver why he didn't just hire a chauffeur." –Conan O'Brien 

John Hulse painting