I will never have to take Viagra again (Jeb Bush's spirit)

It came out that Donald Trump ranks his favorite Fox News reporters on how much they are loyal to him. Sean Hannity gets a 10. He gets an 11 if he’s wearing heels. But Trump’s top ranking host is Fox and Friends host Steve Doocy, who gets a 12. When Doocy heard this he said, “I will never have to take Viagra again.” --Jimmy Kimmel

According to the Annual Happiness Report the top 10 were Denmark, Switzerland, Iceland, Norway, Finland, Canada, the Netherlands, New Zealand, Australia, and Sweden. Basically all the countries represented in the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition. –Jimmy Kimmel

All the candidates have merchandise for sale. Even the candidates who've dropped out. Jeb Bush has the “Guaca Bowle.” This is a guacamole bowl with Jeb's logo on it. Now you can do to avocados what Donald Trump did to Jeb Bush's spirit. –Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2023/12/baby-baby-all-time-when-do-we-want.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

What did you do during the war on drugs dad? (they’re going to have to put down Sean Hannity)

April 2023

“I am glad that there is some accountability here. But still, I am pretty disappointed we are not going to get a trial, because all the Fox anchors would have been forced to testify. It would have been like the ‘Seinfeld’ finale, but instead of soup Nazis, it’s just Nazis.” —Jordan Klepper

“Since Fox is going to have to pay nearly a billion dollars, they’ll need to implement cost-cutting measures. Sadly, they have to fire Brian Kilmeade’s reading tutor, Jeanine Pirro has to switch to the cheap box of wine, development on a third Doocy has been halted. They’re going to have to switch from Jesse Watters to tap waters. And of course, they’re going to have to put down Sean Hannity.” —Jordan Klepper

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Now you can do to avocados what Donald Trump did to Jeb Bush's spirit (I will never have to take Viagra again)

It came out that Donald Trump ranks his favorite Fox News reporters on how much they are loyal to him. Sean Hannity gets a 10. He gets an 11 if he’s wearing heels. But Trump’s top ranking host is Fox and Friends host Steve Doocy, who gets a 12. When Doocy heard this he said, “I will never have to take Viagra again.” --Jimmy Kimmel

All the candidates have merchandise for sale. Even the candidates who've dropped out. Jeb Bush has the “Guaca Bowle.” This is a guacamole bowl with Jeb's logo on it. Now you can do to avocados what Donald Trump did to Jeb Bush's spirit. –Jimmy Kimmel

Chris Christie flew all the way to Florida to stand behind Donald Trump supporting him. Throughout the speech, he looks genuinely miserable. He looks like he saw the bottom of a supposedly bottomless pasta bowl at Olive Garden. He looks as though someone just told him butterscotch causes cancer. –Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Offering his Twitter back is like offering Keith Richards a cigarette (climate vs company)

April 2022

“Truth Social is getting a boost from the news that Elon Musk is buying Twitter. Their app is now No. 1 on the Apple Store free app chart. We know this because Trump released a statement that said, ‘Truth Social is No. 1 in the Apple App store,’ a statement he did not bother to post on Truth Social, by the way, because no one would see it there.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“He still hasn’t posted on his own Truth Social app since the day it launched back in February. The last time he ignored something this much, it was named Eric.” —Jimmy Kimmel

“Trump is claiming that he wouldn’t return to Elon Musk’s Twitter if allowed. I’m sorry, but there’s no way Trump won’t immediately go back to tweeting if he’s given the chance. Trump doesn’t have the self-restraint to stay off Twitter. Offering his Twitter back is like offering Keith Richards a cigarette.” —Seth Meyers

“Former congressman Devin Nunes appeared on Fox News and practically begged the hosts to join Trump’s Truth Social site. Every time you think your life is bad, just remember: you could be a former congressman begging Brian Kilmeade, a man with the eyes of a cabbage patch doll, to send out truths. Fox News host Steve Doocy told Nunes, on-air, that he couldn’t join Truth Social because of a waitlist. A waiting list? Isn’t the whole point of the internet that everything is instant? This is like if you clicked on Apple maps and it was just a list of places where you could buy a map.” —Seth Meyers

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/03/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I will never have to take Viagra again (doesn’t sound great when you say it out loud)

It came out that Trump ranks his favorite Fox News reporters on how much they are loyal to him. Sean Hannity gets a 10. He gets an 11 if he’s wearing heels. But Trump’s top ranking host is Fox and Friends host Steve Doocy, who gets a 12. When Doocy heard this he said, “I will never have to take Viagra again.” --Jimmy Kimmel

“The big question is whether or not the Senate is going to call witnesses for Trump’s impeachment trial. Mitch McConnell wants no witnesses because, you know, witnesses are the ones who saw the crime, so no good can come of hearing from them.” —Jimmy Kimmel

On Sunday someone inside the Trump administration for the second time leaked his private work schedule which, again, looked very light. According to the schedule, Trump spends the first five hours of every day on what they call executive time. They call it executive time because chicken fingers and cartoon time doesn’t sound great when you say it out loud. --Jimmy Kimmel

The Denver Broncos will play the Carolina Panthers at the Super Bowl Sunday. Between the Super Bowl and this new O.J. Simpson show, this has been a very big week for Broncos. –Jimmy Kimmel

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/02/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

the largest gathering of people who believe that vaccines are witchcraft (I will never have to take Viagra again)

President Trump spoke at the CPAC Convention today. For those of you who don’t know what CPAC is, it’s the largest gathering of people who believe that vaccines are witchcraft. --Jimmy Kimmel

It came out that Trump ranks his favorite Fox News reporters on how much they are loyal to him. Sean Hannity gets a 10. He gets an 11 if he’s wearing heels. But Trump’s top ranking host is Fox and Friends host Steve Doocy, who gets a 12. When Doocy heard this he said, “I will never have to take Viagra again.” --Jimmy Kimmel

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

In One Word the Republican Party Sums Up the Accomplishments and Legacy of George W. Bush (Who?)

    

"Al Gore, environmentalist, former Veep, and the man who kept Ralph Nader from the presidency, is now a Nobel laureate. Clearly, a proud day for the former vice president. No matter what your political ideology, you have to acknowledge the spirit for which he earned the award [on screen: FNC's Steve Doocy asking, 'What do Al Gore, Yasir Arafat and that crazy Jimmy Carter have in common?']. They have banged Mitzi Gaynor when it meant something? No?! Oh, the peace prize. That's crazy, right? [on screen: conservative commentators on FNC saying Gore is overstating the consequences of global warming and is therefore, hysterical]. Yes, the person overreacting is Al Gore. I mean, if he's so into peace, why isn't he poor and miserable? [on screen: FNC's Sean Hannity asking if there is a double standard when Gore is flying in private jets]. Okay, no, because Al Gore's jet is a 100% solar power. Sorry ... it's not. Okay, you got him there. One for the Fox News host, but did Sean Hannity quit talking about the Nobel while he was ahead? Is the pope Hindu? [on screen: Hannity saying he would turn the award down because he doesn't 'want an award a terrorist has had']. Hey Sean, what would you do with the terrorist tainted piece of s---? [on screen: Hannity saying, 'I would give the award to the United States military']. Why would you give a terrorist tainted piece of s--- to the United States military? Sean Hannity hates the troops soooo much." --Jon Stewart

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #books #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

Why would you give a terrorist tainted piece of s--- to the United States military?

"Al Gore, environmentalist, former Veep, and the man who kept Ralph Nader from the presidency, is now a Nobel laureate. Clearly, a proud day for the former vice president. No matter what your political ideology, you have to acknowledge the spirit for which he earned the award 

[on screen: FNC's Steve Doocy asking, 'What do Al Gore, Yasir Arafat and that crazy Jimmy Carter have in common?']. 

They have banged Mitzi Gaynor when it meant something? No?! Oh, the peace prize. That's crazy, right? 

[on screen: conservative commentators on FNC saying Gore is overstating the consequences of global warming and is therefore, hysterical]. 

Yes, the person overreacting is Al Gore. I mean, if he's so into peace, why isn't he poor and miserable? 

[on screen: FNC's Sean Hannity asking if there is a double standard when Gore is flying in private jets]. 

Okay, no, because Al Gore's jet is a 100% solar power. Sorry ... it's not. Okay, you got him there. One for the Fox News host, but did Sean Hannity quit talking about the Nobel while he was ahead? Is the pope Hindu? 

[on screen: Hannity saying he would turn the award down because he doesn't 'want an award a terrorist has had']. 

Hey Sean, what would you do with the terrorist tainted piece of s---? 

[on screen: Hannity saying, 'I would give the award to the United States military']. 

Why would you give a terrorist tainted piece of s--- to the United States military? Sean Hannity hates the troops soooo much." --Jon Stewart

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #FeeltheBern #repealreplacerepublicans

Sean Hannity hates the troops soooo much (Is the pope Hindu?)

     

"Al Gore, environmentalist, former Veep, and the man who kept Ralph Nader from the presidency, is now a Nobel laureate. Clearly, a proud day for the former vice president. No matter what your political ideology, you have to acknowledge the spirit for which he earned the award 

[on screen: FNC's Steve Doocy asking, 'What do Al Gore, Yasir Arafat and that crazy Jimmy Carter have in common?']. 

They have banged Mitzi Gaynor when it meant something? No?! Oh, the peace prize. That's crazy, right? 

[on screen: conservative commentators on FNC saying Gore is overstating the consequences of global warming and is therefore, hysterical]. 

Yes, the person overreacting is Al Gore. I mean, if he's so into peace, why isn't he poor and miserable? 

[on screen: FNC's Sean Hannity asking if there is a double standard when Gore is flying in private jets]. 

Okay, no, because Al Gore's jet is a 100% solar power. Sorry ... it's not. Okay, you got him there. One for the Fox News host, but did Sean Hannity quit talking about the Nobel while he was ahead? Is the pope Hindu? 

[on screen: Hannity saying he would turn the award down because he doesn't 'want an award a terrorist has had']. 

Hey Sean, what would you do with the terrorist tainted piece of s---? 

[on screen: Hannity saying, 'I would give the award to the United States military']. 

Why would you give a terrorist tainted piece of s--- to the United States military? Sean Hannity hates the troops soooo much." --Jon Stewart

     

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #FeeltheBern #Bernie2020 #repealreplacerepublicans

warrior king Mitt Romney

"There is actually a fourth possibility that Republicans are putting forward, that the plane went down because it was emboldened by Obama's weakness. That apparently is their answer for everything. In fact on Fox and Friends, Steve Doocy said it was a strange coincidence that Obama has a daughter named Malaysia." –Bill Maher



"The Russians took over Crimea and Republicans know who to blame: Obama. Yes, it all happened because Obama is weak, unlike warrior king Mitt Romney. It never would have happened under him." –Bill Maher



"John McCain wrote an op-ed in the New York Times and said Obama has made America look weak because he is not decisive. Right, decisive. You know, once you have picked Sarah Palin as your vice president, decisions aren't something we call you for as a phone-a-friend." –Bill Maher