Of course, the challenge isn’t finding one, it’s picking one (Or as he calls it, the c-word)

In Venezuela, and Trump decided not to hand over the reins of power to exiled opposition leader María Corina Machado, reportedly because he remains upset that she won the Nobel Peace prize over him. (The Nobel committee, of course, never confirmed that Trump was in the running.) Asked by Sean Hannity if she had offered to give the Nobel Peace prize to Trump, Machado appeared conciliatory: “It hasn’t happened yet,” she said, “but I would certainly love to be able to personally tell him … that this is a prize of the Venezuelan people, certainly gone to give to him, to share it with him.” Ooh, rookie move. I know you’re trying to kiss his ass, but you lost him the moment you used to word share. Or as he calls it, the c-word. —Stephen Colbert

According to a new poll, 44% of Republicans would support amending the constitution to allow Trump to seek a third term, while the other 56% said ‘he’s only on his second term?!’ —Seth Meyers

Trump also told House Republicans that they had to win the midterms this year because if they didn’t, “they’ll find a reason to impeach me”. Of course, the challenge isn’t finding one, it’s picking one. —Seth Meyers

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Lobbyists who used to just lease a congressman are now buying (At least we hope that was his middle finger)

It's a bullish market. Lobbyists who used to just lease a congressman are now buying. --Bill Maher

"Today 47 million of the poorest Americans had their food stamp benefits way reduced. This is the same day we launched our new stealth destroyer, the $3 billion USS Zumwalt. This is a ship that is nearly invisible, unlike the poor, who are completely invisible. I say if we're going to make ships that are invisible, why build them at all? Why not just tell the Iranians they're there?" –Bill Maher

"Anthony Weiner did not really exit in a very classy way. After his concession speech, as he was leaving, the press was taunting him, and they got a picture through the window of the car of him holding up his middle finger. At least we hope that was his middle finger." –Bill Maher

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The penalties offset, repeat first down (Shout out to Tylenol)

Former Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez has been accused of drunkenly assaulting a delivery driver before the driver stabbed him. The penalties offset, repeat first down. If convicted Sanchez could be sent to prison, or worse back to the Jets. —Colin Jost

It was reported that Elon Musk has become the first person to be worth more than $500 billion. Wow. Shout out to Tylenol. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2025/04/thats-no-way-to-say-goodbye-new.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

the first Thanksgiving cost Native Americans an entire continent (can-shape towers of gelatinous red sugar plasma)

October 2021

“This weekend, world leaders are gathering yet again to wear lanyards about climate change at Cop26, the 26th UN climate change conference. Twenty-sixth? Holy crap, this crisis is so old it could rent a car.” —Stephen Colbert

“Inflation, has reached its highest rate in over a decade this month. Due to a sharp increase in food prices, some are predicting the most expensive Thanksgiving in the history of the holiday. And that’s saying something – the first Thanksgiving cost Native Americans an entire continent.” —Stephen Colbert

“Price increases will affect sweet potatoes, pie, the aluminum trays to hold turkeys, and even canned cranberry sauce as China limits steel production to reduce carbon emissions. What? You lied to us, Greta Thunberg! You told us fighting climate change would be hard but you never told us the cost: a world without can-shape towers of gelatinous red sugar plasma.” —Stephen Colbert

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

You don't know anything, you're a teenager (Passing out face first in Vegas)

December 2012

"Al Qaeda's number two man has been killed by an American drone in Pakistan. In a related story, today Al Qaeda's number three man announced he's stepping down to spend more time with his family." –Jay Leno

"Did you see the Manny Pacquiao fight? He got knocked out by Juan Manuel Marquez in the 6th round. Pacquiao hit the canvas face first. Was that really that big of a deal? Passing out face first in Vegas — who hasn't done that, really?" –Jay Leno

"Mitt Romney was at the fight and he met with Pacquiao right before they got in the ring. Now Romney and Pacquiao have something in common. Both ended up getting knocked out by Latinos." –Jay Leno

"Texas Governor Rick Perry announced he's taking steps to run for president once again. He says he's seeking the presidency for three reasons. He can remember only two of them, but he is seeking it." –Jay Leno

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

I'll be there in five teachers (The state of our union is open)

January 2012

"President Obama told the nation ‘The state of our union is strong,’ while Newt Gingrich told his wife, 'The state of our union is open.'" –Conan O'Brien

"A new website just came out that’s designed to calculate how long it takes Mitt Romney to earn your salary. So from now on, whenever Mitt Romney is running late, he can call there and say, 'I'll be there in five teachers.'" –Conan O'Brien

"What's interesting is in the time it took you to think about that joke, Mitt Romney made $65 million." –Conan O'Brien

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

Don’t steal from a f*cking charity, a**hole (training sessions)

“The Trump family has a long history of being assholes, but lately, you could say that they’ve been stretching the limits of how big an asshole a person can be. Starting with President Trump himself, who apparently has nothing better to do than pick fights with children. Especially his twitter attack on 16 year old climate activist Greta Thunberg. Come on, man, the president of the United States is on Twitter, bullying a teenage girl. Just try to imagine any other president doing something like this. Imagine FDR doing a fireside chat where he just goes in on Shirley Temple – ‘My fellow Americans, this little girl can’t dance for shit!’” --Trevor Noah

“In other asshole news, reports emerged recently that Donald Trump Jr went to Mongolia this summer and killed an endangered sheep with a laser-sight gun. “What kind of asshole wants to kill an endangered species? Like, most of us don’t even want to take the last nacho out of the bowl and Don Jr is out here putting panda bears in chokeholds.” --Trevor Noah

“It’s obviously not great karma for Little Bo Creep to be killing off a species, so you would think maybe the Trumps could make things up to the universe with their family charity. Except this family is so cartoonishly villainous, they even do charity like assholes. In a recent New York court ruling, ordered Trump to pay back $2m he stole from his charity for campaign purposes and a $20k painting of himself for his resort. The court also ordered Ivanka, Eric, and Donald Jr to attend a training session on how to not misuse charity funds. His New York State Guide to Avoiding Charity Abuse offered straightforward advice: Don’t steal from a fucking charity, asshole.” --Trevor Noah

“Donald Trump is also reportedly surprised that it’s the Ukraine scandal that’s led to impeachment. Yeah, me too. After all the shady deals he’s been involved in over the years, he gets tripped up by a phone call? Trump getting impeached for Ukraine is like Paul Newman winning an Oscar for The Color of Money – he definitely deserves it but it should have happened way before this.” --Stephen Colbert

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 

A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

I heard that this year Hillary Clinton dressed up as a Democrat (the power of one young person)

I was watching Turner Classic Movies. They played Buck Privates and M.A.S.H. back to back. Which means I now officially have more military experience than Donald Trump. --Jimmy Dore 6/3/16

You know I haven't joked about Chris Christie since he dropped out of the race to spend more time with his family style meals. --Jimmy Dore 6/3/16

I hope everybody had a fun Halloween. I heard that this year Hillary Clinton dressed up as a Democrat. --Jimmy Dore 11/4/16

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”