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Showing posts with label Latinos. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Latinos. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 29, 2021

You don't know anything, you're a teenager (Passing out face first in Vegas)


December 2012

"Al Qaeda's number two man has been killed by an American drone in Pakistan. In a related story, today Al Qaeda's number three man announced he's stepping down to spend more time with his family." –Jay Leno


"Did you see the Manny Pacquiao fight? He got knocked out by Juan Manuel Marquez in the 6th round. Pacquiao hit the canvas face first. Was that really that big of a deal? Passing out face first in Vegas — who hasn't done that, really?" –Jay Leno


"Mitt Romney was at the fight and he met with Pacquiao right before they got in the ring. Now Romney and Pacquiao have something in common. Both ended up getting knocked out by Latinos." –Jay Leno


"Texas Governor Rick Perry announced he's taking steps to run for president once again. He says he's seeking the presidency for three reasons. He can remember only two of them, but he is seeking it." –Jay Leno


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

Monday, June 28, 2021

Didn't you think China overtook us already? (More bad news for Republicans)


December 2012

"According to The Associated Press, China will soon overtake the United States as the world's number one global trader. Which is actually good news for most Americans. Didn't you think China overtook us already?" –Jay Leno


"The unemployment rate has fallen to its lowest level in nearly four years. The bad news is that most of those jobs involve wearing a red suit, a beard, and having kids pee in your lap." –Jay Leno


"According to a new study at UCLA, Latinos live longer than non-Latinos. More bad news for Republicans." –Jay Leno


https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2021/02/a-magisterial-collection.html 

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night 

of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”


 

Sunday, February 16, 2020

yet another New York billionaire with a questionable history with women (like mustard sauce on barbecue)


“The next democratic primary is in my home state of South Carolina on February 29th. As a native son, I’m gonna be on this election like shrimp on grits, like mustard sauce on barbecue, like Confederate flags on more vehicles than I’m comfortable acknowledging.” —Stephen Colbert

“The South Carolina contest is critical for former vice-president Joe Biden, who struggled in Iowa and New Hampshire and has staked his campaign on turning out African American and Latino voters in other states. Well, sure, that’s because the first two states to vote are Iowa and New Hampshire, which are so white you have to go to the supermarket’s international aisle to buy pepper.” —Stephen Colbert

“Bloomberg has been rising in the polls, but there could be some hurdles for his campaign. In the past, he’s been accused in several lawsuits of creating an uncomfortable workplace environment for women, but he won’t release women who sued him from their nondisclosure agreements. Oh, good — yet another New York billionaire with a questionable history with women.” —Stephen Colbert

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

All the pumpkin spice in the world can’t save you after that (crime piñatas)


“President Trump and presidential candidate/fellow New Yorker Mike Bloomberg may have gotten into a Twitter spat on Thursday, but the real threat to Bloomberg’s campaign is his past. Earlier this week, an audio recording from 2015 of Bloomberg defending his controversial stop-and-frisk policy, which disproportionately affected minority residents during his time as New York City’s mayor, circulated through the press. Bloomberg said on tape, ‘We put all the cops in minority neighborhoods. Yes, that’s true. Why did we do it? Because that’s where all the crime is. And the way you get the guns out of the kids’ hands is to throw them against the wall and frisk them.’ Wow, that is not a good look. Think about it: while Bloomberg is out there trying to win the black vote in 2020, he’s on tape in 2015 talking about black people like they’re crime piñatas.” —Trevor Noah

“The comments are definitely not going to go over well with the black voters Bloomberg is trying to court. It’s the same way you would lose white voters if a tape came out of you saying that pets aren’t the same as babies. All the pumpkin spice in the world can’t save you after that.” —Trevor Noah

“Worse still, is that there are more damning comments; in an interview from last year, Bloomberg said white people are disproportionately targeted by stop-and-frisk, while minority residents are under-targeted. According to Bloomberg, white people were the real victims of stop-and-frisk. Black people and Latinos spent years – years – saying they were harassed by the police and Bloomberg’s response was: ‘I hear you, we have been unfair – to white people.’ Facing backlash, Bloomberg has been reticent, dismissing the comments as something said five years ago that ‘doesn’t reflect what I do every day.’ I call bullshit on that statement: Five years? What difference is that supposed to make for you? ‘Look, five years ago I was just a 72-year-old man, I didn’t know any better. I’m much older now, which automatically makes you less racist.’ —Trevor Noah

“A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. 
A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

women, Latinos and blue-collar white men (and yet, still nothing)



"President Bush said Thursday that he would probably accept foreign donations to build his presidential library in Dallas, and would keep donor's names confidential if they do not want to be identified, and yet, still nothing." --Amy Poehler

"After securing the Republican presidential nomination on Tuesday, John McCain addressed his supporters, saying, 'Stand up with me, my friends. Stand up and fight for America.' To which supporters responded, [on screeen: picture of elderly people in wheelchairs] 'We can't.'" --Amy Poehler

"The big story this week is the Democrats. Hillary got her groove back. I don't know if you saw this but on Tuesday there were four primaries and she beat the Arab guy three to one. I only know what I see in the paper. And she did it the old fashioned way, by building a coalition of women, Latinos and blue-collar white men, and scaring the sh*t out of them." --Bill Maher




Tuesday, November 15, 2016

But Not One Penny for early childhood education (weapons systems)



During an interview yesterday, Donald Trump told his supporters not to harass Latinos and Muslims. “Uh-oh,” said black people. –Seth Meyers
Donald Trump told supporters last night not to harass Latinos and Muslims, saying, “I will say right to the cameras, ‘Stop it’” — and then he winked so hard his wig unsnapped. –Seth Meyers
According to The New York Times, Donald Trump wants to continue holding large rallies after he takes office — and Hillary Clinton wants to continue hiking deeper and deeper into the woods. –Seth Meyers
A new study revealed that having a pint of beer every day can help prevent strokes and heart disease — so this one is on me, Justice Ginsburg. Keep going. –Seth Meyers
A new scientific study shows rats are capable of laughter if they are tickled the correct way. The rats were like, “Why aren’t you trying to cure cancer?” –Seth Meyers


Monday, November 12, 2012

He just sits in a darkened room watching...



"I knew Obama was going to win. I knew this little secret. Use it next time there is an election and see if it doesn't work out. The guy who wins the presidential election is usually the guy who kills bin Laden." –David Letterman




"Two-term presidents is a pretty small club in the history of the United States. The only club smaller is Latinos for Romney. And then the only club smaller than that it Latino women for Romney" –David Letterman




"I have political insiders who tell me that Mitt Romney – and he seems like an upbeat guy -- is depressed. He just sits in a darkened room watching video tape of that first debate over and over and over." –David Letterman




"His wife Ann said, 'Mitt you got to cheer up. You know what will make you feel better. Go spend some time with your money.'" –David Letterman