I
saw that a library in Alabama is warning customers that failing to return a
book on time could result in 30 days in jail. So if anyone asks what you're in
for, LIE! –Jimmy Fallon
Police
in Connecticut on Friday discovered a cache of 600 marijuana plants growing in
the backyard of a daycare center. Said one of the kids, “It’s not how to get to
Sesame Street that matters, it’s about the journey, man.” –Seth Meyers
A
new study shows that a small percentage of Americans take medication designed
for pets instead of getting a prescription from their doctor. Said one owner,
“Ah yeah . . . my dog’s having trouble getting an erection?” –Seth Meyers
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