"Did you folks see
'The Sopranos' last night? Fans had to wait two years, two years for a new
episode. Apparently the show's now being produced by FEMA." --David
Letterman
"Sen. Russ Feingold,
who I believe is running for president, said over the weekend he's pushing the
Senate to censure the president over spying. Bush, he isn't worried about it,
he knew it was coming. He'd been listening to Feingold's conversations for the
last three months." --Jay Leno
"The United States is
closing Abu Ghraib prison. This'll probably put the one-hour photo shop across
the street out of business." --Jay Leno
"On Saturday at the
Hague, Slobodan Milosevic died. Despot, madman, husband, father? He will be,
uh, buried." --Jon Stewart
"Do you think it's
too soon to be hitting on Mrs. Milosevic?" --David Letterman
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