he’s about to have the bank account of a young Brad Pitt (never got around to it)

In California, two women have been arrested for holding a group of men hostage and making them work for several months on a marijuana farm. The men said they wanted to escape but they never got around to it. –Conan O’Brien

It’s rumored that Brad Pitt had been cheating on Angelina Jolie with an actress who looks like a young Angelina Jolie. As a result, he’s about to have the bank account of a young Brad Pitt. –Conan O’Brien

President Barack Obama appeared before the U.N. General Assembly for the final time in his presidency to announce that the U.S. would be admitting 110,000 refugees in the coming year. Now the refugees will include people fleeing dangerous places like Syria, Libya, Florida. This might sound like a lot of people, 110,000 people are coming in, but you’ve got to remember millions will be fleeing if Trump is elected. –James Corden