A
man in Washington State was fined this week for trying to drive in a carpool
lane with a cardboard cutout of Donald Trump glued to his passenger seat. Cops
became suspicious when Trump’s mouth wasn’t moving. –Seth Meyers
SpaceX
CEO Elon Musk announced plans yesterday to colonize Mars, saying the main requirement
for early settlers would be that they are, quote “ready to die.” Said Hillary,
“I’ll let you know November 9th.” –Seth Meyers
It’s
reported that even the Taliban actually had a debate viewing party. So for the
first time, it looks like they’re torturing themselves. –Jimmy Fallon
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