"Snap! Censure! A
moral condemnation of the president so severe it's only happened once before to
President Andrew Jackson, who was never heard from again. Oh, wait [picture of
the $20 bill]." --Jon Stewart, on Sen. Russ Feingold's motion to censure
President Bush
"First Lady Laura
Bush said she started exercising when she married President Bush because it was
already part of his lifestyle. Isn't that nice? Yeah, that also explains why
she stopped reading." --Conan O'Brien
"People in Utah are
very upset with HBO because of the show that follows "The Sopranos"
called "Big Love." It's about a man in Utah who has three families
and seven kids with three different wives. Didn't that used to be called the
NBA?" --Jay Leno
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