Hello! Those can't be natural (So let’s lose that top)

Trump may have gotten a sign he will win in November because Trump's attorney, Michael Cohen, tweeted out a picture of a cloud that kind of looks like Donald Trump, along with the caption, “In case anyone is unsure as to who will be our next #POTUS, the Lord has chosen the people's messenger.” Yes, God made a Trump-shaped cloud, though the cloud actually holds a position longer than the real Donald Trump. –Stephen Colbert

A court on the island of Corsica just upheld a local ban on burkinis, which combine a burka with a bikini. Though I gotta say, I don't see much kini. It's mostly burk. But then again, well, look at those ankles! Hello! Those can't be natural. –Stephen Colbert

Defenders of the ban say burkinis promote the subjugation of women. So basically here’s their logic: “Excuse me, ma’am, your garment is part of a culture that oppresses women. So let’s lose that top.” –Stephen Colbert