Normal Florida wedding proceeds without incident/Man has massive hog/They can’t all be winning ideas

A Fox News headline read “Bikini-clad bride weds groom in overalls, caps off Florida wedding with roll in the mud.” The honest headline should have read “Normal Florida wedding proceeds without incident.” --James Corden

A headline from the Huffington Post read “Distracted driver turns out to have 250-pound pig on lap.” The honest headline should have read “Man has massive hog.” --James Corden

Here’s a headline from USA Today. It reads “Tesla SpaceX CEO Elon Musk releases rap song RIP Harambe.” The honest headline should have read “They can’t all be winning ideas.” --James Corden

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Mike Pence made $75 (All right, let’s move on to the bikini competition)

According to The Washington Post, the meeting where President Trump used an expletive to describe African countries was dominated by loud crosstalk and swearing. But on the bright side [shows pic of money-filled “swear jar”], Mike Pence made $75. --Seth Meyers

President Trump today made a surprise appearance at a Women of America panel at the White House. Said Trump, “Four, four, six, three, seven, six. All right, let’s move on to the bikini competition.” --Seth Meyers

A magisterial collection.

An emotional roller coaster.

Soon to be a cult classic.

A combination of Bukowski’s

Last Night On Earth

and Orwell’s 1984.

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html

Hello! Those can't be natural (So let’s lose that top)

Trump may have gotten a sign he will win in November because Trump's attorney, Michael Cohen, tweeted out a picture of a cloud that kind of looks like Donald Trump, along with the caption, “In case anyone is unsure as to who will be our next #POTUS, the Lord has chosen the people's messenger.” Yes, God made a Trump-shaped cloud, though the cloud actually holds a position longer than the real Donald Trump. –Stephen Colbert

A court on the island of Corsica just upheld a local ban on burkinis, which combine a burka with a bikini. Though I gotta say, I don't see much kini. It's mostly burk. But then again, well, look at those ankles! Hello! Those can't be natural. –Stephen Colbert

Defenders of the ban say burkinis promote the subjugation of women. So basically here’s their logic: “Excuse me, ma’am, your garment is part of a culture that oppresses women. So let’s lose that top.” –Stephen Colbert