idiocracy23: August 2018

Thursday, August 30, 2018

Jimmy Dore: Big Money Donors Worried Ted Cruz Was Bad Investment

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse -collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

Jimmy Dore: CNN Caught Lying About RussiaGate & Won’t Retract

Jimmy Dore: Progressive Wins Florida Gov. Primary! Corporate Dems Angry

Jimmy Dore: Democrats CAVE AGAIN & Fast Track Trump’s Judges

Jimmy Dore: Putin Brags About Controlling U.S. Media

B-Sides (Ex. Film 8/25/18)

Wednesday, August 29, 2018

Young Turks: This Victory Is A Turning Point For Progressives

Young Turks: Progressives Are Here, We Have Arrived

Young Turks: Petty Trump on McCain's Death

IF YOU EVER GOT IMPEACHED - A Randy Rainbow Song Parody

Tuesday, August 28, 2018

Jimmy Dore: Donna Brazile Admits Donors Control Democrat Party

Jimmy Dore: Whitewashing McCain's Warmongering By Journalists & Celebrities

Jimmy Dore: Craziest Eulogy Of John McCain Comes From Democrat

Monday, August 27, 2018

Bill Murray knows it's Monday but... (You're Awesome)

Sunday, August 26, 2018

General Tso, I love your chicken/no-room-for-error crisis/So finally some good news

"As if all this news is not bad enough, today, President Bush announced he's on the case. Because if there's one name that comes to mind when you're in a no-room-for-error crisis, it's George Bush." --Bill Maher

"The economy is in big trouble, but the Bush administration is now running it. So finally some good news." --David Letterman

"You can understand why this lawyer fellow let his guard down with Cheney, because if you're out hunting with a politician, you think, 'If I'm going to get it, it's going to be in the back.'" –Craig Ferguson

President Bush arrived in Beijing earlier today. And before stepping out of the plane, he tested the air with a canary. But they got together, the Chinese, and threw a big state dinner for President Bush in his honor. And President Bush, he doesn’t know what he’s doing over there. He turned to the president of China, and he said, 'General Tso, I love your chicken.'" --David Letterman

"A Tomahawk cruise missile fell off a truck in the Bronx this week. A cruise missile, isn't that unbelievable? You know what that means? There are now more weapons of mass destruction in the Bronx than there are in Iraq." --Jay Leno

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse -collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

it's been having some weird feelings (Hindsight is 2020)

"You know, the interesting thing is, these numbers are so big that people can't even comprehend them. Like $700 billion. See, the best way to understand large amounts of money is to think of it in terms of what it can buy. For example, you know what $700 billion buys? It can buy you 100 senators and 435 congressmen." --Jay Leno

"Speaking of President Bush, right now he's in Cancun, Mexico. He's down there looking for tequila of mass destruction." --David Letterman

"Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton was in Indiana trying to get more people there to like her. She claims to have taken some incoming sniper fire at the Indianapolis airport baggage carousel, but other than that, they say the trip went very well." --Jimmy Kimmel

"She said at her church, Governor Palin, said she asked everyone to pray for a natural gas pipeline, which she said was Gods will. And today, God said, "Hey lady, I don't deal with oil companies. That's more Satan's area.'" --Jay Leno

"The Pentagon admitted it's been spying on gay groups. The Pentagon also admitted that since it's started spying on gay groups, it's been having some weird feelings." --Conan O'Brien

The Other Half I Wasted (although Cheney said it was just an accident)

"The Chinese president, President Hu, visited the White House. He received a 21-gun salute although Cheney said it was just an accident." --Jay Leno

"The latest in Iraq: the government has ceased to function. It's kind of like the Bush White House, but with more oil." --Jay Leno

"But not all the generals are against him. He still has the support of a lot of generals: General Electric, General Dynamics, General Motors." --Jay Leno, on generals calling for Donald Rumsfeld's resignation

all bribe money has to be in a clear plastic bag/EWOKS/Pope Francis is missing

"Evil Democrat Empire? I got news for you, if we're going to do the Star Wars analogy, the Democrats are, at best, Ewoks." --Jon Stewart, on a Republican spoof video comparing Democrats to the evil Empire in Star Wars

Pope Francis is calling for an audit of all the Catholic Church’s wealth. In a related story, Pope Francis is missing. –Conan O’Brien

"This week senators passed a limited ethics bill. It's something congress knows a lot about. Limited ethics. Some of the new rules are pretty tough, like from now on, all bribe money has to be in a clear plastic bag." --Jay Leno

"Good news from the White House. President Bush last week had his annual physical and he passed. He passed his annual physical. No word yet on the mental." --David Letterman

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse -collected-poems-1985-2015.html “A magisterial collection. An emotional roller coaster. Soon to be a cult classic. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night On Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

FDR's Second Bill of Rights (That sounds hot)

"Today the governor of South Carolina, Mark Sanford, who's the head of the Republican Governors Association, held a press conference to reveal he had an affair with a woman from Argentina. People were shocked because Republicans traditionally don't do well with Hispanic women." --Conan O'Brien

"Former Vice President Dick Cheney is in the news. Cheney has signed a publishing deal to write his memoirs. I don't want to spoil anything, but it ends with him killing Obi-Wan Kenobi.'" --Conan O'Brien

"It's been reported that Governor Sanford's mistress was a reporter for an Argentinean news channel. Did you know that? That's true. Yeah, this makes Sanford just the latest Republican to claim he got screwed by the media." --Conan O'Brien

"Earlier today, Sanford apologized to his Cabinet for having the affair with an Argentinean woman. And in response, his cabinet member said, 'An apology is not good enough. We want photos. That sounds hot.'" --Conan O'Brien

How is the guy supposed to earn a living when he gets out of jail in 150 years? (M-C Vise Grip)

"But the Iranian supreme leader says the election results are official. He said, 'It's over, the election results are official. And besides that, it costs too much to rig another election.'" --David Letterman

"Do you know anything about this swindling weasel Bernie Madoff? He's in jail now and they haven't even sentenced the guy yet. But he's in the cooler right now. And he is barred -- I heard this today -- barred from working in the securities industry. I'm thinking, well, great. How is the guy supposed to earn a living when he gets out of jail in 150 years?" --David Letterman

Jimmy Dore and Abby Martin: Facebook Shuts Down Telesur's Page, Then Reverses Ban

You can actually use it to stand on to reach a better book (get to Barnes & Noble early for the book shooting)

"You guys remember Dick Cheney? Vice President for eight years? Listen to this - and by all means try to stay in your seats when you hear the news. Don't be rushing out to bookstores. He's written a memoir about his life. Not just a memoir, a thousand pages! It's a great book. You can actually use it to stand on to reach a better book." --David Letterman

"Cheney doesn't say anything for eight years, and now he's got a thousand-page book? Talk about torture. There's your torture right there." --David Letterman

"Anyway, Cheney’s book is fantastic, and you better get to Barnes & Noble early for the book shooting." --David Letterman

I'm like, great, now we're outsourcing mistresses (scandals involving governors)

"Did you hear about Mark Sanford, the governor of South Carolina? He mysteriously disappeared last week and nobody knew where he was. Today, Sanford admitted to having an affair in Argentina. I'm like, great, now we're outsourcing mistresses." --Craig Ferguson

"The past couple of years there have been a whole bunch of scandals involving governors. You know things are bad when the most normal governor of the last decade was Jesse 'The Body' Ventura." --Craig Ferguson

You see, we never had that head-clearing problem with Bush (How I Met Your Camel/Fake Dominos)

"You folks following the Iranian elections? Well, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is the winner. And lots of protests. And it got to be so crazy that Iran's supreme leader actually spoke live on television last night. And it preempted Al Jazeera's most popular show, their number one show over there, which is 'How I Met Your Camel.'" --David Letterman

"Bernie Madoff could be going away for 150 years. Whoa, man, that's a long time. I mean, when he gets out, the Republicans could be back in." --David Letterman

"Anybody here from South Carolina? Well, their governor, their Governor Mark Sanford just disappears for four days. Literally, takes a hike. He's out. And now, he's back. And he says, 'Well what's the big deal? I was just on a vacation to clear my head.' You see, we never had that head-clearing problem with Bush. You know what I mean?" --David Letterman

In fact, McCain's so proud of Obama, he sent him a card with a five dollar bill inside (This doesn't involve me)

"Today, Iran's Supreme Leader, Ayatollah Ali Khomeini, said there's no fraud in the election, and the results will stand. That was the word from the supreme leader. I don't know, I wouldn't mind a second opinion from the other supreme leaders: Burrito Supreme, Taco Supreme, and of course, Diana Ross." --Jimmy Fallon

"Nice vote of confidence for President Obama this weekend. John McCain, of all people, said that President Obama has 'done well' during his first few months in office. In fact, McCain's so proud of Obama, he sent him a card with a five dollar bill inside." --Conan O'Brien

for the average Fox viewer, the most important question for them was, is my lard safe? (He was 113 years old)

"In other news, the world's oldest man died, he was 113, and a leading voice of the young Republicans." --Bill Maher

"And I think what's interesting, is with all this going on in the world, the top news on the Fox News website was a recall of Tollhouse cookie dough. I'm not kidding. Forget Iran, forget healthcare, for the average Fox viewer, the most important question for them was, is my lard safe?" --Bill Maher

Jimmy Dore: Unions Working Towards Starting Third Party w/Nick Brana

Saturday, August 25, 2018

Jimmy Dore: Corporate Democrat Campaign Commercial Appeals To Nobody

you've been upside down on my wife... (the hypocrisy trifecta)

"Have you been following the John Ensign scandal? He's the senator from Nevada who got his penis caught in the cookie jar. It turns out he was screwing the wife of his chief of staff, they say. And I love this guy. He's a piece of work. Because John Ensign was a Promise Keeper. He was a big proponent of the Defense of Marriage Act. And a loud voice calling for Clinton to resign during the Lewinsky scandal. So he has hit the hypocrisy trifecta." --Bill Maher

"He told the Washington Post some years ago, that as a Christian politician, listen to this, he refused to be alone with a strange woman inside of a car. But apparently, being inside of a strange woman without a car that's okay, that's all good." --Bill Maher

"They said his chief of staff, the guy who's wife he was screwing, he threatened to go public unless Ensign, the senator, paid his mortgage. Apparently this guy had a big-ass house in Las Vegas. I know the economy is tough, but using your wife as collateral on your mortgage? That's a new one, even for the Republicans. And how do you broach that? 'Look, senator, I'm upside-down on my mortgage, you've been upside down on my wife...'" --Bill Maher

Reagan fell over 10 times, didn't even break his hair (spent the next 20 minutes...)

"Not such a great day for Hillary Clinton. She fell down, broke her elbow. You know, Fox News is going to be all over this story. This proves the Democrats are weak. Reagan fell over 10 times, didn't even break his hair." --Craig Ferguson

"In his speech yesterday, former President George W. Bush attacked President Obama's policies on anti-terrorism, healthcare, and the economy. Then Bush spent the next 20 minutes trying to kill a fly." --Jimmy Fallon

Cheney's been upgraded from hated to unpopular (So she's going to be fine)

"Here's fascinating news. Dick Cheney, do you remember Dick Cheney? Dick 'Boom Boom' Cheney. His approval rating is up to 26%, up to 26%. Yeah, crazy, isn't it? He's been upgraded from hated to unpopular." --David Letterman

"I'm not surprised that Dick Cheney's approval rating has really soared, really skyrocketed, up to 26%. Because you know, he gave people what they wanted. He left office." --David Letterman

"But I thought this was nice. When he heard she broke her elbow, Rush Limbaugh sent over some painkillers. So she's going to be fine." --David Letterman

Now, at my house, we call that Thanksgiving (flammable effigies)

"Glad you people are here. Because yesterday, we had kind of a thing, and think about this — this was a little weird. Right here, we're doing the show, right across the street on Broadway, they had the 'Fire Dave' rally going on. Yeah. I mean, it was a gathering of people who actually hate me. Now, at my house, we call that Thanksgiving." --David Letterman

"And I just want to say a word of thanks to the great CBS television network. They've been wonderful through everything. But yesterday, I thought maybe they were just a little too eager to cash in on this whole thing with the rally. I mean, at the CBS store out on the corner, you know, they were selling highly flammable Dave Letterman effigies." --David Letterman

"Well, here's more big news going on in Iran. You folks been following the Iranian elections? Well, here it is. It's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and his opponent, Mir Hussein Moussavi. And they had one of those friendly bets. If Ahmadinejad wins the election, he gets a crate of figs, see. If Moussavi wins the election, he gets brutally slain." --David Letterman

Iran's president won big, everywhere — in big cities, rural areas, even in Florida (Oh, they're good)

"Iran is bracing itself for their upcoming presidential election. President Ahmadinejad is behind in the polls. I think it's because of his campaign slogan, 'Vote for me, and I won't cut off your hand.'" --Craig Ferguson

"Iran had its presidential election. President Ahma-Dinna-Jacket was way behind in the polls. And then, lo and behold, he won big, everywhere — in big cities, rural areas, even in Florida." --Craig Ferguson

"Election returns are kind of hard to believe. According to the numbers, both opposition candidates lost to Ahma-Dinna-Jacket in their hometowns. That's like Barack Obama losing in the city of Chicago. I'm not, in any way, suggesting Iranian politics are as corrupt as Chicago, but even Blagojevich is like, 'Oh, they're good.'" --Craig Ferguson

These Blueberry Scones are to Die For (Captain China)

"It's been reported Marvel Comics is getting set to bring back Captain America. They're going to do this as soon as they get a loan from Captain China." --Conan O'Brien

"Tough times all over. Amusement park company Six Flags is filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. Experts say it's due in large part to their money-losing ride, Chrysler Mountain." --Conan O'Brien

"This is weird. The state of New Hampshire is projecting an additional $55 million in revenue, now that they've legalized gay marriage. Yeah, as a result, the state motto has been changed from 'Live Free or Die' to 'These Blueberry Scones are to Die For.'" --Conan O'Brien

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