Hey, if anyone's too hot it's my daughter Ivanka (Wait, you wanted me to save those?)

Hillary Clinton left the Ground Zero memorial service early yesterday because she felt overheated. Said Trump, "Hey, if anyone's too hot it's my daughter Ivanka." –Seth Meyers

Following the news that Hillary Clinton is suffering from pneumonia, Donald Trump has promised to release his own medical records. "Wait, you wanted me to save those?" said his doctor. –Seth Meyers

Last night was the big season premiere of “Dancing With the Stars.” And at one point, two protesters rushed the stage as Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte got his scores. Security stopped them within about 10 seconds, or as Lochte put it, “They kidnapped me, put a gun to my head, and dropped me off at the Grand Canyon!” –Jimmy Fallon