"For the last 16
years the commissioner of the NFL has been Paul Tagliabue. Well, he's retiring.
And listen to this, they had offered the job to Secretary of State Condoleezza
Rice, honest to god, offered it to Condoleezza Rice, and she turned the job
down. Now, when Janet Reno heard this, she said 'Yo, over here, let's
go!'" --David Letterman
"Today is also the
third anniversary of the Iraq war. So far so good! Whatever happened to that
mission accomplished thing? I think now the only way to get rid of the Iraq war
is to put it on NBC." --David Letterman
"There are two sides
in Iraq right now fighting. The side that hates us and the side that really
hates us." --David Letterman
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