it comes preloaded with viruses (the Bay of tech support)

So, Hunter Biden announced that he's launching his own crypto token and it's called laptop and like Hunter it comes preloaded with viruses. --Greg Gutfeld 

An amateur gardener has grown a half-ton pumpkin that's still growing 40 pounds a day. And get this, it just became the newest cast member of  The View. --Greg Gutfeld

President Trump is considering renaming the Strait of Hormuz after himself. And word is he's also renaming the Indian Ocean the Bay of tech support. --Greg Gutfeld

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

 “A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

And then there was the 622 times he said the word 'ham.' (a car alarm stuffed inside a rotting pumpkin)

"Chris Christie gave the keynote address. In his speech he said the word 'I' 37 times, 'Romney' 7 times, and 'jobs' only once. And then there was the 622 times he said the word 'ham.'" –Conan O'Brien

Both candidates are practicing for the debates, and according to insiders, Hillary Clinton is still trying to find a stand-in for Donald Trump. So far the best she’s come up with is a car alarm stuffed inside a rotting pumpkin. –Conan O’Brien

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

13 Penn State fraternity brothers (Pumpkin Spice urine)

13 Penn State fraternity brothers were busted in a cocaine trafficking ring. Authorities got suspicious when they started making it to morning classes. —Kat Timpf

There are signs everywhere that summer is winding down. For instance, Times Square has changed its scent to Pumpkin Spice urine. —Tom Shillue

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

the best way to give my hair this amazing volume (Hey, can I film this?)

October 2022

A popular Peloton instructor is suing the company for nearly $2 Million alleging that an executive mocked him for being Irish. In response the executive counter sued him for all the treasure in his pot of gold. —Colin Jost

A United Airlines passenger who was high on mushrooms assaulted two flight attendants. While over at Spirit Airlines, bath salts are the in-flight snack. —Colin Jost

 Researchers say the number of gray whales off western North America has continued to decline for several years. It’s a sad fact that makes me wonder if whale oil is really the best way to give my hair this amazing volume. —Colin Jost

A video has gone viral of a doctor removing nearly two dozen contact lenses from a woman’s eye that she had forgotten were in there. And you know that you messed up when your doctor is like, ‘Hey, can I film this?’ —Colin Jost

Border officials have discovered $400,000 worth of meth hidden inside pumpkins. They could tell the pumpkins were full of meth because they only had three teeth left. —Colin Jost

https://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2022/08/1001-ways-to-make-america-great-and.html

“A magisterial collection. A combination of Bukowski’s Last Night of the Earth 

and Orwell’s 1984.”

 

The Award for Best Performance in the War Against Terrorism goes to...

    

I saw that Coca-Cola is selling a new drink in Japan called "Coca-Cola Coffee Plus.” They say it’s great if you like Coke, love coffee, and hate blinking. –Jimmy Fallon

   

I read that farmers in Europe are close to growing a 3,000-pound pumpkin. Then Americans said, “Eh – let us know when you ELECT one.” –Jimmy Fallon

      

http://idiocracy23.blogspot.com/2016/06/john-hulse-collected-poems-1985-2015.html #Bernie2020 #FeeltheBern #repealreplacerepublicans

There was an awkward moment when one of the pumpkin farmers tried to carve Trump’s head

There is a new bike lock that prevents theft by releasing a gas that makes a robber throw up if they cut the lock. So, the good news is: Your bike wasn’t stolen. The bad news: It’s covered in robber vomit. –Conan O’Brien

During a campaign event at a Florida pumpkin patch, Donald Trump met with pumpkin farmers. There was an awkward moment when one of the pumpkin farmers tried to carve Trump’s head. –Conan O’Brien